old German lady gave me acupuncture today

she lifted up my shirt, saw my top surgery scars, and immediately went "WHOA! What caused THIS?"

my fellow comrades, it took every atom of my strength not to just say the funniest lie I could think of on the spot.

FOR THE PEOPLE

today was single handedly the best day of my life. i caught a cop stealing from the store i work at

literally watched him slide a candy bar into his sleeve and i literally felt like i was on top of the world. i felt like i could throw a car over my head. he walked around the store for a bit after that looking to see if we have any locally made pickles and then when he couldnt find any he was about to leave and im like ^__^ have a good night, are you going to pay for the candy bar you stole :3? and then i got to watch a grown ass pig shyly walk up to the counter to pay kinda just awkwardly laughing about it and was like "whoops forgot about it haha...." and then left without another word. this opportunity will never happen ever again. being able to tell a cop that he needs to pay for a candy bar he attempted to steal makes me feel incredibly powerful

"Ayo Mr. White! I just heard this phrase; The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must first destroy a world. The bird flies to God. That God's name is Abraxas. You're smart 'n shit, do you have any idea what that means, bitch?"

"Jesse, we - fine. I might as well explain, we're done cooking for Gus for today. You heard a line by the famous German author Hermann Hesse; specifically, from his 1919 novel 'Demian'."

"Demian? I thought that was just the name of that gay little bitch from the gacha game Skinny Pete likes."

"Jesse, you imbecile. You went through all your big years of high school and you never once listened to a Hesse lecture?"

"Demian follows the story of Emil Sinclair, a boy in Germany who slowly finds himself falling into the 'world of evil'. It all begins when another boy of his school, Franz Kromer, tempts him into keeping money from his family. An older boy, Max Demian, takes up for young Sinclair and drives Kromer away.

Years go by, and Sinclair, who grew up Christian, finds himself filled with desires he finds sinful; he blames Demian for this, and he hates himself, too. How could he have fallen into this world of evil, after all? All he wanted to do was thrive, why was that so hard?

As it turns out, he just needed to break free and accept himself for who he was. He needed to thrive to the beat of his own heart and live for himself, not for any god nor for his father or mother.

In the end, Sinclair and Demian reunite, and Demian departs as they enter war with a kiss. He disappears, yet Sinclair sees features of his friend and guide in himself in the mirror.

The novel has themes of Jungian and Freudian psychology, Catholic guilt, and self-liberation.

There, was that satisfactory? Or were you dozing off and not applying yourself, just like in class?"

"Damn, bitch. That's a lot to take in. I guess I'm a bit of an Emil Sinclair myself, Mr. White."

"In the end, Jesse, we must listen to our own hearts. We can't truly sort most things into 'good' and 'evil'.

And... I don't want anyone else to domineer over you."

this is so fucking real thank you evil mario

This is actually a kin memory I have from my life as Walter White

String identified:

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a g , a c a , g C t a , t ; a a t , a at , t . c a a t t , a t a ? A a t t a t , a t at a ?

A t t t, t t a a acc t a . t t t t at a t a , t a g at t .

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T a t g a a a c g , Cat c g t, a - at .

T , a t at at act ? g a t a g , t c a ?" " a , tc . T at' a t t ta . g ' a t a c a , . t ." " t , , t t t a t . ca 't t t t t g t 'g ' a ' '.

A … 't a t a t ." t c g a t a a T act a a a a a t t

Closest match: Martes martes genome assembly, chromosome: 13 Common name: European pine marten

>PROTEIN WIZARD casts DETECT WINDOW

>>>FIVE start codons detected!

>>>SEVEN stop codons detected!

>>>FIVE possible windows detected!

>>>>>ONE viable window detected!

[a;Tgttattgg.Tggt.ttta.TtG.TatG'aAaa.'at't,aaaattata,tc?"",-.gtaa,'cgGta.aataG]

>PROTEIN WIZARD casts SUMMON RIBOSOME

>>>MLLVVLLYEKLKLYRNGK*

>>>aTg-tta-ttg-gTg-gtt-tta-TtG-Tat-GaA-aaa-tta-aaa-tta-tat-cgt-aac-gGt-aaa-taG

>>>Met-Leu-Leu-Val-Val-Leu-Leu-Tyr-Glu-Lys-Leu-Lys-Leu-Tyr-Arg-Asn-Gly-Lys-STOP

>PROTEIN WIZARD consults the tomes...

>PROTEIN WIZARD: "BLAST! My quest for PEPTIDE KNOWLEDGE continues..."

THERE ARE WIZARDS ON MY BLOG

tumblr: *posts*

tumblr user hellsitegenetics:

Owning a black cat is awesome because you’ll leave the bathroom and The Shape will be waiting for you

String identified:      g a   ac  cat    a         ca       ’     a   t    at      a   T     a            a t  g         

Closest match: Raphanus sativus genome assembly, chromosome: 4 Common name: Radish

Did you hear that buddy?

You’re a radish.

this was so wild

Someone explain

The first sentence says 32 and 13 implying that the speaker is 32 years old and their girlfriend is 13 years old, which is both highly inappropriate and illegal. The next sentence reveals the speaker was talking about their game levels, not their ages, which is perfectly okay.

In their reply to the audience they then say they are picking her up from middle school, again implying that their girlfriend is underage, but quickly state she’s grading papers letting us know she’s a teacher, definitely an adult, and there no reason to be upset.

The rollercoaster gif portrays how switching from upset and worried to relieved in such a short period of time feels emotionally.

The next meme shows the guy panicking from misunderstanding, then feeling relieved and calm realizing the truth, only to panic over the next misunderstanding and then calm again when hearing the end.

the above explanation is followed by a picture of data from star trek with a speech bubble's tail coming out of him, implying he's the one saying all of that, which is humerous because the above text is written in a style similar to his speech patterns, and with a subject matter he would enjoy

This is the worst website ever and I love it.

I was looking up the 90's folk movement, as one does, and this search suggestion fucking got me

Oh man she is SO gender, like you wouldn't believe it