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he isn't wrong lol
had an au thought and ran with it o/
chapter 76
NPD's name is like. stigmatising and everything but like. the reason for the stigma behind it is that it's a mental illness. and mental illnesses are just broadly stigmatised.
like even if they changed the name. the stigma would always be there.
bc like it's there for borderline, and that name isn't stigmatising at all, yk.
like don't get me wrong the name sucks bad. but like the big things i see are "don't use narcissist to label people! it's stigmatising to mental illness!" and "the name narcissistic personality disorder is inherently stigmatising and it needs a different name," or, more broadly, "the name narcissistic personality disorder proves the stigmatising nature of psychiatry."
i believe in bits from both sides, honestly, but like,
my broad experience in psychiatric care shows that Generally, they are here to help and hold no stigma. HOWEVER, enough people within the field hold stigma toward anything beyond depression or anxiety, that looking for psychiatric care is a minefield. and like also some of the names and ways symptoms are described are stigmatising, even if the majority (not a vast majority, but a majority) of the professionals i've seen are very, very against the stigma around mental illness, and that some "symptoms" aren't even problems, and don't need to be treated.
but also like, i think most people in the world show some things which can be described as symptoms of mental illness, and i literally think it should be mandatory teaching like, in schools, for people to learn how to manage their emotions, communicate effectively, etc. like i literally think shit like CBT and DBT should be something everyone is taught.
and also i think like. stigma toward mental illness is bad and it's not rlly just bc of like. the names of them, but also bc ppl perceive mental illness as something that Makes You A Bad Person, and don't recognise that the reason for the behaviours is because of trauma, and instead like, it's just bc the person is like. Selfish or Manipulative or whatever. when, in reality, the lack of empathy or manipulative behaviour stem from mistrust or other negative feelings rooted in their trauma.
like mental illness Can lead people to behave in ways that are harmful. but those harmful behaviours are also defence mechanisms, and the people who perform those behaviours deserve the kindness they need to unlearn those behaviours.
like not necessarily from you. like you don't have to be there the whole time to hold their hand if you're not able, but stigmatising them for the behaviour isn't the answer, yk.
sometimes the answer to a person who has harmful behaviours is to hold them until they stop being scared.
and sometimes it's "i care about you, but you are behaving in ways which are harmful to me, and, while i want to see you better, i need to distance myself from you for my own health," and based on their response, either sticking around in their periphery to show you care, or leaving entirely if you know they will continue to be harmful to you.
but like, showing kindness towards these people, and recognition of the fact that their behaviours are a result of unhealed wounds, while prioritising what you need, is the answer. yk, like, stigmatising them and treating them like their behaviours are rooted in Evil ensures they'll keep being hurt, keep having that wound opened, and never heal.
like one thing i want to say is like. abuse is more complicated than just The Abuser Is A Horrible Person, yk. To abuse doesn't make you An Abuser, just as how committing a crime doesn't make you A Criminal. Abuse isn't something you are, it's something you do, and it can be changed. and you can't always make up for it, but you can learn from it.
and the big stigma with mental illness stems from how "Abusers" are treated by society. it's the lack of forgiveness and room for growth. someone fucks up, and they're treated as a "Criminal" forever.
what are we? christians? we're just going to hold these people to these fuckups forever?
someone has trauma that leads them to perform harmful behaviours, and that means they don't deserve a chance at all? someone performs harmful behaviours and that means they have a Disorder and are Bad By Nature? yk?
there's so much Determinism in how we view others and it fuels stigma.
an abuser isn't something you are, it's something you do, and a disorder doesn't make you an abuser. it can lead you toward abusive behaviours, but that doesn't mean you're guaranteed to behave abusively, and that doesn't mean you're unforgivable and you won't grow and improve if you do.
idk. i had more of a point but my roommates keep talking rlly loudly and it's distracting me. 😔
Your parents are not "narcissists". They're typical authoritarian assholes who treat you like their property because society allows them to.
Your ex boyfriend is not a "narcissist". He's a typical misogynistic douchebag who treats women like shit because society allows him to.
Your boss is not a "narcissist". They're a typical classist dipshit who thinks workers' entire purpose in life is to generate profit because society allows them to.
And even if they happen to be a "narcissist", that's not what gave them the power to get away with abuse.
So stop blaming mental illness and start blaming society's normalization of abuse. Stop acting like someone has to have a mental illness in order to do something cruel when ordinary people have been doing atrocious things since forever.
Might just be the depression talking but i feel the feedback and length of time of a challenge changes how rewarding it feels. Most games are designed to peak in difficulty and reward the player around the same time. Life doesn't work like that. Retail doesn't get harder throughout the day and then rewards you with cash at the end. You struggle daily for 1-2 weeks then get sent a check.
Sometimes it is an easy pay period other times its incredibly difficult, but regardless you get rewarded the same. Thus why people may feel better about overcoming video game challenges while not feeling even a fraction of that reward by doing real life tasks.
If confetti rained down and victory music played when I fucking cleaned my room you bet I'd be way more consistent with it.
If confetti rained down when I cleaned my room, I feel like that might negatively impact my desire to clean my room. Could we substitute the confetti with something else?
no and every time you clean the confetti another confetti charge goes off
One must imagine Sisyphus cleaning his room
are you actually more empathetic & considerate than all of your friends or did you grow up forced to cater to and mediate the emotions of adults & everyone else around you and now you’re hypervigilant & prone to fawning and holding people in your life to the standard of your trauma coping mechanisms—a standard you yourself shouldn’t be held to
one of my favorite details about chilchuck frm the adventurers bible is that he specifically hates when other half foots infantalize themselves in front of other people and he wants to advocate for half foots to have rights and agency and be seen as adults but also he is so turbo allergic to sharing any information whatsoever about himself that he refuses to tell people his real age and gets infantalized anyway. king of shooting himself in the foot and complaining his sock is wet
saw a transfem at the bus stop but i don't think i was clocky enough for them to see me and be like "wow you're just like me!" but i looked at them and smiled like "wow you're just like me!"
Love Falin Dungeonmeshi bc she haunts the narrative as the noble cleric who sacrificed herself for her party, the kind soul all these ppl are risking their lives to save and. Shes literally just as much of a freak as her weirdo brother in the exact same ways BUT literally everyone around Laois is like what the FUCK is wrong with you but then they turn around and go omg Falin!! Shes the best! We love Falin heart and soul of our group Falin!! Literally whos doing it like her
i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.
Balduvian Mystic Submission by Nightsquared
I will open the fucking TikTok app just to watch this video multiple times
TIKTOKER: I swear to God, no one tickles my testicles more than the people of my own fucking country. Okay, so like WHAT HAPPENED was this year, this summer, I was in Korea. And I linked up with a homie that I haven't met in a long time, just catching up. "Oh my God, how are you? You GRADUATED? That's insane, where do you work!?" Whatever. Okay.
So there was a conversation about like, food and preferences. So I just asked him! I just asked him: (in Korean, pronoucing "asparagus" as a Korean loan word) "Hey, when you eat steak, do you put asparagus?"
(in English) And this BITCH. He looks at me DEAD STRAIGHT IN THE FUCKING EYES. Has the AUDACITY to just.... degrade, I guess! Ask me: (in Korean) "HAH! Hey, aren't you from America? Why are you calling it (emphasizing the Korean pronunciation of asparagus) ASPARAGUS?"
(in English, in an exaggerated stereotypical American accent) OH, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY! Am I supposed to say ASS-PARA-GUSS? ASS-PARA-GUSS? DO I GO (says his question again in Korean, but breaks up the flow of the speech by pronouncing all the loan words with American pronunciation).
IT FUCKS THE FLOW!!! WHY ARE YOU BITCHING!? I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY! YOU MONOLINGUAL FUCK!!!!
