Drunken Whalers

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

this has been keeping me up at night. the graybeards are old men. there are (excluding paarthurnax) only four of them. their ancient order is dying out. they probably took in ulfric in order to impart to him their monastic tradition and pass their philosophy down to the next generation of nords. and instead of remaining at high hrothgar in the life of contemplation that he'd chosen for himself ulfric spent over a decade learning all he could from the graybeards of the thu'um and then went back down the mountain and started blowing people up with his voice. and arngeir has nothing to say about it

is ulfric why they don't have any disciples? is ulfric why they've shut their doors even to pilgrims? arngeir come outside i just have a few questions

Maison Margiela FALL 2022 COUTURE 

The intro to Lana's Coachella set. 🌴

Lady Boyle's last party 🎇

🐳Dishonored pixelart🐳

our glorious boops / their wicked pokes

you guys wanna see the most accurate and blasphemous representation of the words ‘catholic shaming’?

happy easter, everyone

you know Easter is just around the corner cause this post is making rounds again

it's time for me to share this cake I decorated for valentine's day

obsessed with this tag

it used to be 2007 you know

imagine being the first amish bitch in your village to like get your body done like ass shots titties done and like beat face contoured… and then you walked into like the saloon or whatever amish people have and everyone dropped their irish fiddles and was shookedt? like everyone churning butter was just in shock and you walked across the artisanal wood floors in your wantmylook.com thigh high lace up heeled boots like your life depended on it… yes god

my mans jedediah looks away in humility but you KNOW he’s churnin butter that night……milkin a different cow…..

Why y'all doing this when you know the Amish are not here to defend themselves.

If there’s anything worth living for, it’s kittens trying to imitate their moms.

Scuba Cat from Katamari Damacy (2004)

"goddess" "matriarchy" "female wisdom" girl your civic rights

“But I didn’t and still don’t like making a cult of women’s knowledge, preening ourselves on knowing things men don’t know, women’s deep irrational wisdom, women’s instinctive knowledge of Nature, and so on. All that all too often merely reinforces the masculinist idea of women as primitive and inferior – women’s knowledge as elementary, primitive, always down below at the dark roots, while men get to cultivate and own the flowers and crops that come up into the light. But why should women keep talking baby talk while men get to grow up? Why should women feel blindly while men get to think?”

— Ursula K. Le Guin