ItsEasilyEastie

poor old granny scorpion-shoes. no one ever saw her death coming

it was pneumonia.

yes, her pet scorpion pneumonia, who lived in her shoe. tragic.

he shot her point blank

This was like reading a Lemony Snicketts book.

Me staring at the sleep paralysis demon on my ceiling @ 3:03am

someone: “omg you’re so pretty!”

me:

its illegal to be cuter than me

We’re all going to jail then

me_irl

*assumes typical california boi pose where i am sitting on a curb with my feet resting on my longboard, gently rolling it from side to side* *takes a sip of my arizona green tea* *takes off my beanie and runs my hands thru the front of my bleached undercut* so are we getting in and out later

what happened to ronald mcdonald is he still even a mascot or are they like…phasing him out. hes not on things anymore. where is he

he’s old. let him rest

A Somali Red cheats at a cat show by getting cozy with the judge

i love that the judge can’t resist giving this fluffo a smooch, thats exactly what i would do if i was a cat technician

cat technician

if you can’t read yourself how in the hell are you gonna read somebody else