Tumblr just put a fcuking harry potter post on my feed as a "recommendation based on your likes"

Why not recommend me smallpox next. Or arthritis maybe.

Settings -> Account Settings -> Content you see -> Filtered Post Content

Add "Rowling", "jkr", "harry potter", "snape", "remus lupin", whatever you want.

Yeah I'm not doing all that. Tumblr should just ban all things related to that franchise

you are like a mewling helpless baby you are standing in the rain and i am offering you a goddamn umbrella and you throw it on the floor and yell at god to abolish rain

"I'm not doing all that"

It takes like 5 seconds OP. It's not hard at all to curate your own online experience. You have no excuse.

Holy crap, this is so funny

Victim mentality who?

NDHSNHDBDHE

He didn't survive it

happy passover, everyone

sending people wikipedia articles is my favorite form of humor. one time a long time friend of mine asked why i was using a different name and acting different i sent him the wikipedia page for DID. ryder just asked me why its 108 degrees in nevada right now and i sent him the wikipedia page for global warming and the season of summer.

i see you all in the tags going "this is so funny" you better not steal my fucking bit. im copyrighting this joke

you cant do this to me

My first white hair being a nose hair is something

Try living as a 5 yo with white roots

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

#this post gets me every time 

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

#surprise reblog!! 

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

This post is a goldmine

This post is an eagle that has a taste for my liver

Instant reblog

Ow my liver

#read this guy’s stories they’re also a a form of time travel#you open a tab and then it’s four hours later

YEAH

IF YOU’RE GONNA CONTRIBUTE TO MY PAIN THEN READ MY WORK

IT WON’T FUCK WITH YOUR SLEEP SCHEDULE IT’S FINE

We're on a new platform with a totally different audience...we have to prove ourselves all over again...convince a totally new group of people to think we're funny and worth your attention....so allow me to drop some of my "A" material....the funniest thing I got.......here goes....... jeef berky

diversity loss this trans man is just as much of an emotionally unavailable avoidantly attached brick as any cis guy

he has a pussy yes but does he have a heart. post cancelled that sounds like a taylor swift lyric

my boy he has a pussy but he doesn't have a heart

he's playing games with me just like i'm mario from kart

i'm a published writer btw

interesting fact i have titanium in my spine

Fun Fact!

Titanium not only is crazy durable, but it noo magnet! Thas wy Dock chok jjiun spi; surgyr ad pater noster, qui es in cœlis; sanctificetur nomen tuum: Adveniat regnum tuum; fiat voluntas tua, sicut in cœlo, et in terra. Panem nostrum cotidianum da nobis hodie: Et dimitte nobis debita nostra, sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris: et ne nos inducas in tentationem: sed libera nos a malo.

dude got hit with the ol’ Lorum Ipsem beam😞

that's the Lord's Prayer; did they get spontaneously possessed by a medieval abbot or something

POV: you're Moses on plague 2

Secret Panel HERE 🤦‍♀️ tapas.io/episode/2871767

Biblically accurate deer

medieval backstreet boys: you are… my friar

kitchen appliance backstreet boys: you are... my fryer

employer backstreet boys: you are... my hire

ancient greek backstreet boys: you are… my lyre

electrician backstreet boys: you are... my wire

Driving backstreet boys: you are… my tire

appliance backstreet boys: you are... my dryer

[hits side of cd player so that it stops time traveling and gets to the next fucking line dammit]

wizard backstreet boys: the one… descryer

funeral director backstreet boys: bereave, when I say

ghost backstreet boys: I haunt it that way

Existential philosopher backstreet boys: Tell me why

God I am sick and tired of people uwu-washing indigenous American history.

Did the Inca have exquisite building techniques, efficient messengers, and quality waterworks? Yes. They were also an expansionist empire built on violent conquest and the splitting up and relocating of conquered peoples.

Did the Aztecs have a gorgeous capital city built at the heart of a lake, with floating farms and towering temples honoring their fascinating pantheon? Yes. Guess what tho. They were also a violent expansionist empire who practiced ritual sacrifice of prisoners of war.

The Iroquois confederacy had one of the most unique representative political systems I’ve ever heard of, with women taking a forefront in most local government matters too. But their internal peace allowed them to redirect violence to their neighbors, as so often happens with tribal confederations, and they eventually violently conquered the Ohio valley and destroyed or displaced dozens of other indigenous groups.

Even my beloved Cahokia has the graves of sacrifice victims amidst its ruins.

A society should not need to be (and fundamentally cannot be) squeaky clean unproblematically stannable in order to be worth studying and remembering, and pretending that they were is no less disinformative than the European accounts painting them as godless savages.

Had a student this semester ask something to the effect of, "didn't the Indigenous people live together in harmony before the Europeans showed up?"

"No."

Really, it just becomes so much easier when you remember they were just people, with all the vices and virtues therein, not some magical elves or fairies who carry the natural essence of our lands.

I don't know of the Peruvian or Canadian education system, but the Mexican doesn't gloss over the conquest and human sacrifice

It was called the Mexica empire for a reason

Deacon St. John 31/??