my favorite part of xenoblade is that gadolt looks like the protagonist of a gritty fps game whose wife just got murdered

jokes on you gadolt

YOURE the dead wife

Anonymously or not, send “How To Care For” instructions for my muse

Send me "§" if you'd ever consider shipping our muses

From deep within the archives, I have uncovered one of the rarest pepes of all.

send me a ✍ to see a glimpse of a muse i might want to play.

someone who hasn’t seen homestar runner explain this

Send me 'oops' for my muse's reactions to yours 'accidentally' throwing flour on them.

ruby: so I think when we fuse we should do a british accent

sapphire: yeah

here is the snurch, here is the sneeple, open the snoors and see all the sneople

probably because that post was too good for this world

basically it explained how, back in 2012 when Universal Studios made an animated film rendition of The Lorax, tumblr found this gangly green noodle attractive:

and developed a unilateral obsession with him overnight, spilling into deviantart and youtube in a tidal wave of art, fanfiction, cosplay, etc.

However, Universal made the mistake of providing n o t h i n g for these fans to ship him with. There was nobody attractive enough, relevant enough, in-his-timeline enough, or not-related-to-him enough to have a stable ship. This was the spark of the spiral for the fans looking for romantic or adult content. As I told Ni: “– eventually they reared their heads back, in uniform, like a massive eldritch ouroboros, and began shipping him. With himself.”

Classic Oncelers, Greedy green-suited Oncelers (Greedlers), robot Oncelers, pimp Oncelers, old Oncelers, young Oncelers, the 1972 book version Onceler, AU Oncelers of every conceivable origin – everyone was shipped with everything. “Oncest” was coined. Look. At. This. Shit.

There was also some other golden stuff, including but not restricted to Glovecest, Empted:

“The cereal has an ask blog.”

and my personal favorite by the mere fact of its existence: “Money on Wheels” – a pairing that is “a personification of money and the onceler’s racecar bed”

This was a fandom scraping the bottom of the barrel and it is one of the most fascinating internet phenomenon I have ever fucking witnessed. I am obsessed with the fact that it even fucking happened at all because I’ve never seen anything else like it.

And the most interesting thing about it? It’s like it NEVER HAPPENED. The fandom just DROPPED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH suddenly and you can’t help but feel like the whole thing was some surreal jarring nightmare.

“This has become a community crisis, America is in crisis. There is an Once-ler Fetish that has gone out of control.” - Ed Helms, voice of the Onceler during a Q&A twitter session during the height of the fever. I’m not joking.

We learn from the past so we may learn from it, and never again commit such crimes against nature.

I just had to ok.