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i'm not witty

@halfbloodblake / halfbloodblake.tumblr.com

ash. they/them. ravenclaw. hp. multifandom. prompts are always open. about writing
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The fact that we can accidentally bite the insides of our cheeks has to be the biggest design flaw of the human body.

NO SORRY IT’S THE FACT THAT OUR TRACHEA AND ESOPHAGUS CROSS AND BRIEFLY OCCUPY THE SAME HOLE DOLPHINS DON’T HAVE THIS PROBLEM.

WE ONLY GET ONE SET OF ADULT TEETH THAT ARE DESIGNED TO LAST MAYBE HALF OUR EXPECTED LIFESPAN

OUR LOWER BACKS ARE STRUCTURALLY FUCKED FROM MAKING A SHITTY TRANSITION TO BEING BIPEDS

INTELLIGENT DESIGN MY ASS, BUT AT THE VERY LEAST WE’RE NOT HORSES

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stephendann

“In conclusion, the humans were extremely angry until they saw the horse, and then thought ‘Well, that bastard’s got it rough, this ain’t so bad’“

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teaboot

That last bit sounds straight out of a Douglas Adams novel

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Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

I’m so glad this is a universal wondering among vagina-owners, haha.

‘Vagina-owners’

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anxiousnerd

Tune in next time for: Are these menstrual cramps? Am I pregnant? Is it just gas? I wouldn’t have to ask these questions if I didn’t have a damn uterus

Next week: Is it a bladder infection? An ovarian cyst? Do I have endometriosis? Oh God please do not let it be cervical cancer! A 20/20 special

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occupyvenus

Y'all are forgetting the all-time classic: Is it just my period or is my appendix about to burst? Some nice tea and a heatpack or 911 and emergency surgery?

There is actually a test for that last one!

Place your hand over the pain, press down slightly and release. If the pain doesn’t change by any great margin, you’re fine. If it suddenly becomes some painful you can barely stand, Get thee to an Emergency Room

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taysweetbae

reblog for the safety of vaginas and their owners

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greedyagain

The appendix test works with or without a vagina so reblogging for everyone.

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