Chris Evans photographed by Michael Schwartz for People's Sexiest Man Alive 2022.

✧ CHRIS EVANS PEOPLE’s 2022 Sexiest Man Alive

Chris Evans ||

I love being bi and having horrific taste wish I could put it on my resume

#it’s their love language

nobody on this site is ever ever EVER going to top running a blog dedicated entirely to posting cute pics of sweet old dogs in a shelter for a year and gradually becoming one of the most recognized blogs on the website, then without warning dropping “i just want to get dicked down again =/” with 0 explanation and abandoning the blog. not deleting it, not explaining anything, just leaving the whole thing as a monument. fucking flawless posting. literally the best of all time.

➤ ZUHAIR MURAD  Couture Spring Summer 2022

SIMON BAKER for T Australia Magazine | Simon Baker Answers Rapid Fire Questions

steve rogers is a lot smarter than people give him credit for

This^^

Please give Steve his credit where it’s due.

"old friends" is an underrated relationship dynamic because it's such an innocent boring sounding term for what is usually some of the wildest shit imaginable. it's always like 'oh yeah we go way back, we have history' and then you find out that history includes sex, drugs, murder, divorce, war crimes and The Incident

The Adventures of Big Dog the Clown, 24th Jan 22

LET’S GET YOU IN THE MOOD, KIDS, IT’S A WILD ONE!!! Background music for your enjoyment. If you’re on mobile, here’s a Spotify option. Want to really set the scene? Grab some snacks! Snacks such as, for example, popcorn, like this popcorn given out to passers-by by Butterkist today in front of Downing Street.

OKAY so. Last update we had just learned that Will Wragg MP was accusing the Tory party of blackmail! News that came just as I was writing the damn update even. So, let’s pick up from there!

Well, naturally, as the rats are running from the sinking ship, Boris Johnson is cutting an increasingly lonely figure. But hey, you can always count on your true friends to defend you! Up until now, that’s been the job of Nadine Dorres (the galaxy-brained genius behind Operation Red Meat, more on that in a moment) and Jacob Rees-Mogg (a time travelling Victorian dandy too stupid to spot he’s landed 150 years in the future); but now, Tumblrs, in steps your new favourite clown character in this saga: Michael Fabricant.

Now Michael Fabricant is a terrible man who last year described Palestinian activists as “primitives” who are “trying to bring to London what they do in the Middle East”, which is frankly the mere tip of the iceberg, if an iceburg were made of frozen liquid shit and melted slugs. He is also, and I swear to god I am not shitting you Tumblrs, I swear this is genuine, he is a real man who has made these real choices - he is a man who appears to very literally be cosplaying Boris Johnson. Look at this:

SAME CLOWN WIG!!!!

He’s also spotted his sycophantic chance to worm his way into the mouldering and collapsing bodily cavity where Big Dog once had a heart, so he stepped up to the plate when he heard this TERRIBLE accusation of blackmail. Oh yes! The hour came and Fabricant was not found wanting! Let’s see his defence!

Keep reading

The birthday party - for a 50-something man, for heaven’s sake - was in the Cabinet Office, as well. The Cabinet Office, the place where they are supposed to carry out the business of government.

Summer 2020 was when my cousin got married. The wedding was postponed from the spring, when they had hoped to throw a massive celebration for all their family and friends to attend. That celebration never happened. The postponed wedding, in the end, was really small. Just my cousin and his wife, their three kids, their two mums, and a couple of their siblings. None of the extended family were able to attend. None of their friends were able to attend. But they couldn’t postpone it any longer because my cousin was terminally ill. So I didn’t get to go to his wedding, and in fact I never got to see him in person again. When he died, I didn’t get to go to his funeral.

My little nephew and nieces, aged 3, 4 and 6, haven’t had a birthday party for two years.

But bloody Alexander de Pfeffel, at the height of lockdown, got to have a 56th birthday party in the middle of the Cabinet Office, where he was supposed to be running the government.

Jesus wept. And so do I.

Meanwhile in Wales, our First Minister Mark Drakeford spent the whole of that first lockdown living in the summer house at the bottom of his garden, because members of his family were shielding, so to protect them while still doing his job he put himself into isolation. Now that’s leadership. No wonder his approval ratings are sky high while Johnson’s plummet.

Although I’m going to leave in Llywela’s contribution because I think it deserves to be seen. Just to really drive the point home, on the 20th March 2021, a seven year old girl called Josephine wrote a letter to Boris Johnson, explaining that she was cancelling her birthday party because she “wants everyone to be ok”.

In response, here is the now-deleted tweet from Big Dog himself:

As a reminder, his current defence is that he didn’t know the rules on parties. Interesting that he tweeted the rules in that case.

BUT YOU GUYS

I am delighted to announce that as of this morning (25th Jan) Cressida Dick has revealed

That the Met Police

Will now be investigating a number of events held in Number 10 and across Whitehall during COVID restrictions

You love to see it

Henry Cavill and his delicious everything

Geralt with flowers in his hair

The Witcher + Text Posts [6/?]

I love PMQs because a Labour MP will stand up asking if the Prime Minister can please, please, please commit to expanding funding for the NHS so that disabled people can have freaking quality of life, and Boris Johnson will just say “Of course I deeply sympathise with the crippleds and such, but thankfully this is a wonderful government with great results helping Britain be geat again, so that’s solved, next question,” and then some Tory twat representing the constituency of DiddlyumptyShire and Speckwith, even though he's never actually been there once in his life and thinks a day at out at the races in Cheltenham is "going up North," will be like “Does the Prime Minister agree that the efforts of Labour to stigmatise yacht owners in Britain are a serious affront to our national identity and must be countered swiftly?” and Boris will immediately be like “YES AND LET ME THANK MY COLLEAGUE FOR BRINGING UP THIS IMPORTANT ISSUE, FOR WHICH MY STAFF OF 12 DOMINICS AND I HAVE DEVISED A SIX POINT PLANT. FIRST OF ALL—“

This meme remains evergreen…

MOOD