“The Taco Cleanse” Cookbook Review and Sauerkraut Egg Breakfast Tacos
It’s nearing the end of January so your motivation to fulfill all your New Year’s resolutions is probably waning. Now is the perfect time to start a Taco Cleanse, the easiest, healthiest and most beautiful way to have your body feeling stellar in as little as one day.
I’d like to review for you The Taco Cleanse: The Tortilla-Based Diet Proven to Change Your Life. It’s my new favorite, snarky, visually well designed cookbook. (Also, funny and snarky cookbooks are my new favorite genre. I may limit cookbook reviews on here to snarky cookbooks only.)
The four authors are from Austin, which is the heart and soul of many of the best things Tex Mex. This cookbook has a ton of awesome recipes. Also, taco yoga poses (including the full taco pose), “quotes” from famous people and proverbs about tacos, supplements (margaritas, ya’ll! but sadly no mojitos), a crossword puzzle, gardening advice, and encouragement for when everyone is down on you for doing the taco cleanse (it’s so difficult to incorporate into your lifestyle!). Every page is so hilarious that my father stole the cookbook from me after I got it on Christmas. And proceeded to read most of it out loud. So really I’ve really read this book twice.
Know what this book doesn’t have? A discussion of how it’s vegan. I was waiting for it and it never came. However, I teach Rhetoric, so I know that everything is an argument. If you publish an entire cookbook that’s vegan, you are making an argument implicitly. But they only get explicit on page 214, in the “Resources” section, where they come clean about how they hate other cleanses and also have a kind three paragraph section on “Going Vegan.” I respect that. I think we could all eat a little less meat because, you know, the planet earth and ethically killing things even if you believe God gave us the authority to eat meat and rising meat prices. So I’m glad they’re not hitting you over the heat with the vegan-inity, just with the cleanse-ness.
Back to the recipes, usually the main goal of a cookbook. They’re all easy, simple to follow, ingredients that most vegans / mildly healthy people / people who like to cook would probably have on hand. I would (shhh, don’t tell the vegans) probably substitute ground turkey for a lot of their recipes that include things such as tempeh and fake meat. A few of the recipes include gluten but you can just skip those. The possibility of corn tortillas opens up a whole world of gluten free tacos. If you’re advanced in eating gluten free, you’re likely to know how to sub for it easily by now anyway.
Look how pretty the layout is! They even picked a nice font.
Some of the recipes I can’t wait to try include “Deeply Roasted Chipotle Butternut Squash” (with chickpeas), the plantain tortilla recipe, “Cashew Crema” (with 2 Tablespoons of kombucha, so obviously it’s a cleansing diet), and “Regenerative Red Onions” that are pickled. From the picture above, you can see the two rows of sticky notes—my way of documenting which recipes I want to make out of a cookbook when I read it the first time. I want to make a lot from this cookbook. (No, I never actually get through all the recipes I want to.)
All of the recipes seem straight-forward and easy to follow for anyone who has done some cooking. None of it is baking where proportions are really important; it’s a lot more sautéing or heating some things together until they get more delicious. I’ve made the “Affirmation Cumin-Onion Rice” (almost all eaten up at Bible study) and the “‘Living’ Chipotle Sauce.” This sauce recipe involves chipotle and lime, two of my favorite things, so it’s been pretty much life changing. It’s possible I may be eating it straight out of the refrigerator by dipping chips in it with the fridge door still open. Often. I am so cleansed.
This review doesn’t do the cookbook justice. It is. So. Funny. Ya’ll. Buy it and read it now—or come borrow my copy because I still have enough “Living” Chipotle Sauce to last me a few more days of eating out of the fridge. (Also putting it on tacos! Check out my Instagram!)
To do homage to The Taco Cleanse, I wanted to share with you the taco recipe I’ve been eating almost every other day since New Year’s. It’s not vegan. (I’m sorry, taco scientists.) It is, however, vegetarian. Which some people are okay with as I begged the chickens who are my friends to give me the eggs. (Important: I want chickens someday but only if we can be best friends and have nice chats and I can pet them.) If you are vegan, you could incorporate my recipe with The Taco Cleanse’s page 95’s recipe for “Mighty Megas” that uses firm tofu as eggs. (But my version is easier.)
My recipe includes sauerkraut. Ironically, I learned about making your own when I did my own Whole 30 14 that made me tired and grouchy with none of the promised fire dragon of energy at all. (I’m totally on board with cleanses being dumb.) You can learn to massage sauerkraut here and then proceed to wait three weeks to make my recipe below. Or you can buy fresh sauerkraut at the store in the deli section--which involves way less of your roommates being weirded out that you’re massaging cabbage for 10 minutes and leaving it in the garage for three weeks and warning them that the garage might smell like rotting cabbage because you sure hope it is rotting in all the best ways possible. Real sauerkraut involves probiotics, the same you get from yogurt. But if dairy bothers you like it does me, sauerkraut is awesome. Probiotic sauerkraut is amazing, making this recipe is not only a taco recipe but also a cleansing recipe.
I believe the sauerkraut makes it a German-Mexican fusion dish. Mostly because this makes me laugh and because my ancestors were German.
Sauerkraut Egg Breakfast Tacos (Or, German-Mexican Fusion Cleanse Tacos)
Place a skillet over the stove on medium heat. Heat the following on both sides until warmed and slightly browned:
Remove the tortillas; place under a towel to keep them warm.
Turn the heat down to low and add to the skillet:
Scramble them in the pan as they cook. Sprinkle it with salt and pepper to taste.
When the eggs are halfway cooked, add:
- 2-3 Tablespoons of probiotic-infused sauerkraut
Serve the egg mixture in the corn tortillas for tacos. Add mustard, ketchup or your favorite hot sauce.
Start your taco cleanse off right early tomorrow morning with this breakfast taco recipe! After only one day of tacos every meal, “the mild level,” according to The Taco Cleanse, “your mood will improve,” as promised on page 3. Go forth and eat tacos, ya’ll!
P.S. I love this purple spatula my mom gave me for Christmas!