unless they're into that kind of thing ;)

Among those arrested in Atlanta today were Noelle McAfee, Chair of the Philosophy Department at Emory University. You can hear her ask the PhD student taking the video:

“Can you call the Philosophy Department office and tell them I’ve been arrested?...I’m Noelle McAfee, I’m Chair of the Philosophy Department”

Minutes ago: Atlanta cops tasing a restrained student protester at Emory University

sam and brennan’s greatest weaknesses (respectively)

(transcript under the cut)

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The squealed “pleaaaase” sounded straight out of Invader Zim

nobody wants your birds, brennan

choices made in anger is such a crazy image. if you know what i'm talking about

i'm gonna thrup

Everyone's all "i'll fuck your dad" until they realize that means they'd have to fuck someone over 40. and those people are weak.

Glad you liked this one dad-pegger

"people in real life: hey man how's it going" is a killer phrase. instantly neutralizes whatever insane discourse you find online. gonna start using that from now on

Huge shoutout to my mutuals whom I share no interests with and don't remember following. It's really us against the world out here

Fake dating except they're actually dating they're just so bad at it they also have to fake date

I know this is satire, but

I didn’t miss that social cue I just thought it was stupid 

‘i saw your social cue but am ignoring it in the hopes you learn to use your words and communicate like an adult. hope this helps’

in all seriousness it's very alienating knowing theres Something Wrong With You. like seeing your mental illness come through in your behaviour and thought processes and knowing it's irrational and unhealthy, knowing other people are reading you as weird or stupid, and not being able to do anything about it is such a lonely experience

the funniest dynamc between my boyfriend and i is the chef/baker divide runs so deep. experimentally my boyfriend is a genius with figuring out what flavor profiles will not just taste good together but also will be enjoyed by the specific audience he is cooking for. a recipe is not a guidebook so much as a suggestion and he will frankenstein ideas together to get exactly what he wants to happen. he also didnt know that sugar will not work properly if you dont mix it with the wet ingredients in banana bread and when i asked 'why didnt you do it in the order of the recipe' he said 'i didnt really think it mattered'. autistically i exploded his head in my mind

when your pumpkin loaf or banana loaf is not delightfully moist and soft and sweet like the pillow of a cherub and instead is like a dense fruitcake brick of misery we will see who is pretentious then. beast

Every dog with Republican owners today.

“because we’re both birds!”

sorry i overreacted i had no idea everything would be fine

Can you do something for me, please?

I want you to reblog this if you believe that two people can be very close and physically affectionate with one another, but still have a completely nonsexual, non-romantic relationship. 

Even if the two people in question are capable of being sexually or romantically attracted to one another. 

Because the friendship I share with someone I consider family in a way that transcends blood has been typecast as a romantic relationship ENTIRELY too many times, and I’m beginning to get sick of it.