todd brotzman-centric (with agency trio fluff) - under 1k - rated G

[ID: Four screencaps from Taskmaster. The studio screen shows a suet pudding on a plate. Sophie Willan explains, "You steam it. It's got gravy in the centre with steak chunks." Greg Davies turns to Alex Horne, who's seated beside him, and says, "Sorry. Can you ask Sophie if she thinks I don't know what a pie is?" End ID.]

todd brotzman-centric (with agency trio fluff) - under 1k - rated G

E.R. Comics, Ryan Pequin

one time my friend had surgery on her hip/knee and we went to visit her in the hospital and she was like “hey guys, check out what i have! it’s this cool button that, when I press it, it gives me more morphine!” and sure enough she had a little tube with one end attached to her IV or whatever and one end with a button on it, and every time she pushed the button it gave her morphine

and she just kept pressing it and pressing it and giggling and getting loopier and loopier, so we went to ask a nurse if that was OK or if she was just going to overdose herself

and the nurse said that the morphine button is on a self timer limit and she had already maxed it out and won’t be able to get more for a few more hours, but she can just press the button as many times as she wants and thanks to her already being on the max dose of morphine she was just placebo effect-ing herself into the fucking stratosphere

it was a great image, my friend over there high as balls like I HAVE UNLIMITED MORPHINE POWER!!!! *press press press press* and the nurse like “nah that button isn’t doing shit but she’s having fun”

is this breaking bad

a shitty fanart

Everyone wanted to be thicc but nobody wanted to be fat. Everyone wanted the dad bod but nobody wanted to be fat. Everyone wants fat mommy milkers but nobody wants mommy to be fat. Everyone wants to be a bear but not like, an actual fat bear. You get what i’m saying

Everyone wants the mistique of fatness or use the language of fatness to denote hotness without actually being fat or acknowledging that fat people or fatness can just be hot.

The aroace brotherrrs

btw one of the key components of actually being in a healthy relationship is just asking for things that you want. i keep seeing posts on this website saying 'i really want to do/receive [X] but my partner has never done it'. just ask. 'nobody exchanges love letters anymore' ask. 'i want to have my partner's hair in a locket like the victorians' just ask. 'i want to be bought flowers regularly :((' literally just ask. your partner doesn't know they're being held to these expectations and that you're unhappy unless you tell them. it's so unfair to expect your partner to read your mind. 'it's less special if you have to ask :((' grow up and stop pretending you're the lead in a romcom. when people say communication is crucial they mean it !! just ask !!

This is one of the hardest but most crucial lessons to learn if you have previously been in an abusive relationship. If a previous partner made you feel like it wasn't safe to ask for the things you want or need, it is very easy to fall into a pattern of never articulating your desires. But that's not fair to your current partner or to yourself; in a healthy relationship, you should feel safe asking for the things you want. It takes reflection, and work, and it is sometimes hard as hell, but trust me, it's worth it.

It’s also something to unlearn from years of movies/books portraying love as some soul connection in which your lover can read your mind. I assure you, they can’t. Even the most attentive, loving, and thoughtful partners deserve clearly-communicated expectations.

Goes doubly if your partner is neurodivergent. You gotta ask for things.

It was reading fanfic and going “oh my god why don’t they just talk” that finally got me over that hump. And also my partner that I met because of healing through fanfic? He gets so excited about the things I ask for. Like “Hell, yes! You want that? I’ve never had a partner who wanted that before! Any time! All the time! I’m so lucky to have you in my life!” It’s kinda fun and still bowls me over sometimes, how much we want the same things.

Seriously the most important relationship advice ever

i mean. who said that.

Alright, to ao3's soon to be arriving Wattpad Refugees, a basic guide to general user culture:

1.) Unlike Wattpads vote system that let's you like each chapter, the ao3 equivalent kudos only allows one per work. Everyone is generally quietly annoyed about this. To engage with each chapter, you're heavily encouraged to comment. Trust me, it makes people's day.

2.) Ao3 has no algorithm. By default it's latest updated work first. You can find things to your taste through searches, filters and tags.

3.) 'No archive warnings apply' and 'user has chosen not to use archive warnings' mean two very different things. No archives warnings means the work is free from any content that could require a warning tag (character death, graphic depictions of violence, non-con, etc). User has chosen not to use archive warnings means it could contain any of the warning content, be it hasn't been explicitly tagged. Treat it like an allergen. No archive warnings apply is allergen free. User has chosen not to use archive warnings, may contain traces or whole chunks of the allergen. If you're likely to have a bad reaction, maybe don't take the risk.

4.) Speaking of warnings, ao3 has very few restrictions on the type of work that's allowed. Whatever your personal thoughts or feelings on that are, thats how the site is. You're likely to run across some dark subject matters and a lot of people are uncomfortable with reading that. You're well within your rights not like these works and have your opinion on whether they should be allowed, but harassing the authors of such works (or any works) is more likely to come back on you than them. Ao3 operates on a strong policy of 'don't like, don't read'. Use the tagging system to your full advantage to only engage with the kind of works you want to see.

We look forward to welcoming you all and seeing the fantastic works you create. Happy writing!

There also needs to be a button for “this is the 5000th time I’ve read your fic because I’m having a horrible day and this is the only thing in the world that always brings me happiness.”

good news: there is!

Support the folks posting work on comment-ebabled sites!

I love when people leave comments on my old stuff.

Its like passive income but it actually works to make me happy.

Honestly though, comments like that are gold to me. I love to write and a comment telling me that something I’ve done has improved someone’s life even in a small way? That’s impact. We live in societies that tell us over and over we have no value and nothing we do is ever good enough. So for someone to post a comment telling us that we improved their lives with our stories? That tells us our effort had value. We writers set out to improve the world in tiny ways, offering random acts of kindness in the form of a few minutes’ entertainment, and comments tell us we’ve achieved that little goal.

You can totally come back and leave a comment under that comment a year later! I’m glad to know you are still enjoying it and want to know if you’re doing okay.

There is no higher compliment than a re-read.  The longer the time that has passed, the higher it is.  It means a story resonated and stayed with someone. 

shrek is 15 years old today

shrek is 16 years old today

Shrek is 17 years old today

Shrek is 18 years old today

Shrek is 19 years old today

Shrek is 20 years old today

Shrek is 21 years old today

Shrek can now drink in the US.

Shrek is 22 years old today

Shrek is 23 years old today

salt & vinegar chips are snacks for fucking masochists. literally the entire flavour of the goddamn chip is “acetic acid, which will hurt your tongue, and then just salt on top of that to hurt it worse”. it’s brutal. this chip is designed to hurt you

yeah and it kicks ass

When absolutely 0 of Biden’s accomplishments have made any kind of news, and we’ve been fed a steady diet of fear and panic for 3 years, no one gets to be shocked when he loses the next election to Donald 2.0.

Posting anything positive about the president here will get you called a capitalist bootlicker.

What do we expect to happen?

Anger sells better. Anger feels better, it feels righteous.

It’s easier to protest against a president you don’t like then to actually remain in charge and keep pushing ahead, even if small, consistent accomplishments are all you receive.

I know I’ll never be missing an election in my life again (barring some kind of major medical event).

I just wish it weren’t so damn frustrating, feeling like you’re screaming into the void constantly, fighting against apathy.

CMS just announced that the government will start taking high-cost drugs that were developed with taxpayer dollars and start pulling patents to force competition and low cost generics. That’s fucking momentous.

I saw 1 news article on it. I wouldn’t have known it happened if I didn’t read the news every day. This should have caused the kind of celebration that erupted when companies started announcing $35 insulin caps. Why didn’t it?

Low cost hearing aids, lower and $0 student loans, concrete investments in green architecture…there was an announcement like 2 days ago to replace all leaded pipes out of US cities over the next 10 years, which will be an absolute boon in jobs for construction workers and can make our homes safer for kids. I’m sure I’ll see a headline in a year, “Biden’s lead pipe program causes drivers traffic headaches.”

Republicans want 20 foot concrete barriers topped with barbed wire across the entire southern border, and Democrats want amnesty and ease to citizenship for just about anyone who crosses, and it really seems like until a compromise is made somewhere in there, Republicans will continue to turn out in massive numbers to elections because God told them to, and Democrats will continue to stay home because the last president didn’t accomplish 100% of their goals and voting for an imperfect president is a personal and ethical failing.

Now take that mentality and spread it over every single social and economic issue.

I remember how utterly scared and angry we were sone years ago when Trump was trying to bankrupt the USPS. People were talking about it left right and sideways, asking people to buy from the USPS gift shop, start a stamp collection, anything. Then, Biden got elected and put a huge stop to that by getting rid of the unfair laws that only the USPS had to abide by. Overnight, the USPS was saved, and how did everyone react?

They didn't. It was hardly mentioned. Not a blip.

Same exact thing when it came to net neutrality!! It was DEVASTATING when it was killed. People died in wildfires because Internet providers throttled data of firefighters. Xfinity actually stole identities in order to make it happen.

About a month ago, BAM, it was restored because Biden appointed a Democratic leader to the FFC. Did anyone talk about it? Nope. I saw ONE post.

Adding to this list, the Biden-Harris administration has also:

And honestly, this administration has done so much more that I don’t have time to list - with wide-ranging effects that won’t be fully felt for another few years, but are MONUMENTAL for our country, our healthcare, our environment, our jobs, and our futures.

Please don’t allow shills and bots to convince you that voting doesn’t matter or that your vote is inconsequential.

Please register and vote in 2024.

Please.

Everything is like “QUEER history” and “List of QUEER young adult books” or “Top 10 QUEER movies” and queer this and queer that and for the love of god please just say LGBT.

But queer is more inclusive

And faster to pronounce if you are talking instead of writing.

It’s not more inclusive, and if your excuse of using a slur as a blanket term is “it’s faster to say”, GENUINELY what is wrong with you

It’s called economía del lenguaje.

It’s also the respected academic term?? The acronym isn’t static and it’s usage is varied by things like generational difference, location, and knowledge of the community. Even just in the U.S. in the last few decades the common usage gone from GLBT to LGBT to LGBTQ, to LGBTQA/LGBTQIA/LGBTQIAP/etc (Which, let me tell you as someone who has given presentations in the past using these updated acronyms, are all real mouthfulls), to LGBT+.

Also yes, queer is more inclusive! Especially coming at it from an academic standpoint, people didn’t always use or identify with the terms we use now and you can’t always try to cram them into our modern perceptions of sexuality. We can argue for years about whether a famous historical figure was gay or bisexual or straight and trans or whatever, but if we can all agree that they were somehow queer then using that term allows us to move past the debate and into productive discussion. And not everybody everywhere shares the same terms for sexual and gender identity, or even the same concepts of those things, so queer really is a more inclusive term in a lot of cases.

Like yeah if you’re talking specifically about gay or trans people you can just say gay or transgender, but if you’re talking about more than one identity or someone who doesn’t conform to our perceptions of ‘LGBT,’ or a person or people whose identity you don’t know, queer is just the better word.

“That’s SO gay”, “Oh my god, you’re not a LESBIAN, are you?”

Your words are slurs, too. Why do you get your words, but I don’t get mine? What makes you so special?

I’m here, I’m queer, go fuck yourself.

queer is not a slur, stop drinking the TERF koolaid

every time one of you fools spout about ‘queer is a slur’ a terf laughs because their fucking plan to make that word ‘taboo’ is fucking working you dipshit.

I did not get my degree in queer literature for you all to keep pulling this bullshit.

baby gays,,,, i beg of you to learn your queer history and stop listening to terf bullshit

every single one of our labels has been used as a slur against us.

terfs and -phobes are always going to try and hurt us with what we identify as. but the fact remains these are OUR labels and always have been.

we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it.

I don’t know if this is just because I’m not American but I’ve never heard queer used as a slur. Ever. Meanwhile gay was the insult in the 2000s here. Everything you didn’t like was ‘soo gay’. Queer wasn’t even a word most of us knew back then.

It just baffled me that people would think an identifier is automatically a slur just because someone uses it to mock someone. If we did that gay would be a slur. Stupid would be a slur. Autistic would be a slur.

The reason people are upset about the word queer is that it’s a unifying term. You can say you’re queer and all people will know is that you’re part of the community. But you can’t say you’re LGBT, you have to say you’re gay or trans or ace. They don’t want you to be ambiguously queer. They want you to say which kind of queer you are so they can decide whether you’re undesirable.

yeah in the 90s and early 2000s kids would call each other “gay” as an insult. But no one ties themselves in knots over whether “gay” is a slur. So yeah, please ffs learn your history.

They want you to say which kind of queer you are so they can decide whether you’re undesirable.