I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the Samuel Alito theory of constitutional interpretation is, “if I want it, it’s constitutional. If I don’t want it, it’s not constitutional.” Now we just have to see how many fellow “Justices” agree with his powerful “analysis.”

Free speech

Of all the perversions of the notion of free speech that have harmed US society over the last decades, the notion that if I say something you don't like I have threatened you, or made you feel unsafe, has got to be among the worst.

Threats are threats. Stochastic, "wouldn't it be nice if something happened to that person" statements are a threat. Being an asshole is not a threat.

It'd be nice if our society was capable of understanding the difference.

If we’ve learned anything from history, it’s that sending in the police to arrest student protesters always turns out for the best.

If the MAGA whackos in the House manage to make me sympathetic to Mike Johnson it's going to be a hell of a thing ...

Apparently, only electing performative extremists into governing positions makes governing impossible. Who knew?

I have decided that the easiest way to summarize the ever-increasing gap between my vision of college and my students' vision of college is:

They believe classes should adapt to accommodate their lives. I believe their lives should adapt (as fully as possible) to classes.

It is quite a thing. But it is true.

So, you're telling me there's a chance ...

More proof I did not study international relations: Jordan and Saudi Arabia are helping Israel shoot down Iranian drones.

I know the Jordanians and Saudis hate Iran. But still …

Are they going to support Ukraine? No. But don’t say the House Republicans don’t have an action agenda. Here it is for next week:

In the spirit of George Carlin ...

and his "Hippie Dippie Weatherman" character:

"This afternoon, I predict a brief period of increasing darkness, followed by a similar brightening up for about the same amount of time, until it will be just about as bright as usual for that time of day later in the afternoon .... "

What a difference a quarter century makes:

Big tech companies, circa 2000:

--File sharing is theft! No music sharing! We'll sue anyone who violates our copyrights!

Big tech companies, circa 2024:

--We will hoover up every piece of information ever created and posted online. Copyrights be damned. The AI must be served. Worship us! WORSHIP US!

It. Just. Doesn’t. Stop.

Ever.

It is almost impossible to imagine a government anywhere in the world trying to isolate itself and alienate its friends quite as completely as the Netanyahu government is doing with its actions in Gaza.

Time to increase my monthly donation to the World Central Kitchen.

Free-to-steal sentence for a budding novelist:

“The bowman stood on the bow of a ship before using his bow to fire an arrow into a bough; he then took a bow.”

Really: you can have it. I’m done with it.

Dear financial advisers:

I am contemplating taking all my family's money and putting it in a media company that generated $4 million in revenue in 2023, against $59 million in losses. However, it recently went public with a $6 billion market capitalization. So the fundamentals must be amazing, right? Investors would never manipulate the stock for political advantage? Right?

Explain it to me like I'm MAGA.

A thought about Bible Trumping:

I get that the Bible isn't copyrighted. But I imagine the translation Trump is selling certainly is. So, did he buy the rights?

Asking for translators everywhere.

If I understand the hiring/firing of Ronna McDaniel at NBC properly, senior management at NBC is unanimously willing to shove money in your pocket if you are an election denying, Electoral College subverting, media-bashing mouthpiece for a wannabe dictator. But the on-air “talent” isn’t.

I feel safer already.