when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

our house was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods so when i decided i didnt want to wear dresses anymore if we were going to some event & my parents insisted i had to wear a dress i would just go hide in the woods. was so committed i almost made us miss a flight once bc my mom packed a dress in my suitcase

i only promised to stop doing this if my parents got me formal boys clothes to wear which eventually they did. i don't feel bad about resorting to violence bc i asked politely and they said no. proud of 10 yr old me for evil annoying lesbian behavior

5th grade was the last time I wore a dress for school pictures. When my parents attempted to force the issue for 6th grade, I climbed onto our roof and pulled the ladder up after me. My dad borrowed the neighbors ladder. As soon as it touched the roof I pulled it up too. By the time I had 3 ladders they were willing to negotiate, and 2 hours late for work.

A+ Gremlin behavior

My mother used to try to make me wears tights to church. (She also tried, halfheartedly, to make me go to church, but that's another story.) My solution to this unacceptable situation was to get my little kid-safe scissors and cut my tights off as soon as I was alone. Couldn't make me wear them when they were in shreds.

every single day I think about how american black vultures are known for engaging in allopreening (preening between different species)

and they have a specific relationship with crested caracaras, in which the black vultures assist them by not only preening them after meals but also leading them to food in the first place— due to their superior sense of smell— while the caracaras assist the black vultures by acting as a warning signal in case of danger

and while this is more typical of black vultures, this is not common at all for any member of the falconidae family— it’s a special bond!

yet another post in favor of vultures everyone , hope you enjoy:) and I implore you to do some more research on these incredible birds !!

Omg this is like 800 metaphors rolled into one megaphor

I would like everyone to know that vulture vomit is very stinky. It smells of rotting flesh and they use it to drive away predators

Direct action

hey, at least have a picture of the American vultures doing this, not eurasian/african vultures, they are very different creatures!

Apparently vultures are protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act, so there is nothing ICE can do about this except politely try to shoo the birds away.

So gods finally stopped fucking around and started with the Omens huh

who wants to get married and live in a mysterious castle that the townspeople whisper about

just sayin'

This should be taught in school.

i avoid printers at all costs but deep down i think i should've been a printer. life so easy. i sit there all squarelike and when someone has a minor task for me i goFUCK YOU

the way concernedape dropped the new update on the first day of spring, which coincides with the first day of the game, was genius

My biggest (and only) disappointment with 1.6 so far is that you can't put a Calico Egg into an incubator and get a surprise.

one of the funniest parts abt the stardew valley community is that no one questions the hat mouse. like yeah it's a mouse that lives in the woods? and sells u hats? what's the issue

...he is weaving the chocolate. Do you copy, this bitch is WEAVING CHOCOLATE

Yes, I’ve done the work analyzing this relationship’s problematic traits and I’ve come to the educated conclusion that I still want them to fuck

About honeymoon…

Incorrect Good Omens Quotes Masterpost Part 1 : here

Incorrect Good Omens Quotes Masterpost Part 2 : here

one small trick that keeps me immune from getting scammed out of fifty thousand dollars is not having fifty thousand dollars

Thranduil being able to speak Khazdul implies one of two things:

That relations between the Woodland Realm and Erebor used to be so close that the dwarves taught Thranduil how to speak their secret language

Or

That Thranduil eventually picked up the language after hearing being spoken for thousands of years and just never told anyone that he understood it just so he can eavesdrop on the dwarves’s shit talking

Possibility number three: Thranduil learned it from his dad as Oropher was part of Doriathrin court and quite possibly around when Thingol negotiated with dwarves to have Menegroth built, which happened before the ban on teaching outsiders Khuzdul was put in place.

Or possibility four: Elves love language (especially slang) and learning a new language was a distinct highlight of this Dad Boss' ageless life.

Option four does not negate options one through three.