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waves from the abyss! hey all! random pop-up to say i hope everyone is doing well, taking care of themselves, keeping healthy in all ways, and to give a little update on life since my last update:
• i've gotten my booster
• i almost lost my job - but ultimately didn't
• i'm extremely overwhelmed at work
• i've started anti-anxiety medication, which seems to be working?
• i'm most active on bookstagram and started my own etsy shop thanks to it - so if you'd like to follow my bookish escapades, shoot me a message and i'll point you in that direction!
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more updates from this elusive writer: • i am now fully vaccinated • i'm still working from home (though the end is near for that) • i'm gearing up for a small surgical procedure to help alleviate a recurring issue. it will be the third time for the same issue, but i'm hopeful this will be the last one. • thanks to that, i'm likely home until the end of july.

why haven't i been around:
• muse has been fleeting • life has been hectic • brain has been hella foggy!
best way to get in touch: • discord (ask and ye shall receive!) • instagram (ask and ye shall receive!)
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hello! random update after months of silence:

• i lost my granny in december, a week after her 96th birthday.
• a year in and i’m still working from home, which i’m grateful for since the amount of cursing i expel out of my mouth everyday isn’t office-appropriate.
• i got a good review and a raise.
• i just got my first vaccine shot.
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just a quick apology for being so absent lately. election fatigue took me out for days and work/holidays took me out for others. i’m still around, albeit sluggishly slow, but i haven’t disappeared into the stratosphere. i promise!

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darkesthowl  :  CAL

               He sighed heavily and scratched the back of his neck before he sat down next to Hayley. Thankfully their little guest seemed to have calmed down as he was digging into the fruits as if there was no tomorrow. Hopefully no one would choke on a grape or something. Callum took an apple slice and munched on it highly concentrated while his gaze flickered between the two boys and the people cluttering the playground. Okay, you’re right. We can’t take a strange kid home with us. But how do we find his parents? There’s people everywhere ❜, he said with his mouth full. Instinctively he scooted a little closer to Hayley; as if he was afraid she could disappear as well.
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               ❛ I wouldn’t mind a day without chaos following us. Especially when it includes lost little boys and a park full of potential pedophiles , he mumbled and leaned his head on his wife’s shoulder. Feeling her warm skin always helped to soothe him — maybe it could also help him think and find a solution to this mess. It was then that their own little boy climbed into his lap to offer one of the cut up strawberries to him. Callum grinned. Thank you. It’s very nice to share, Peanut. Mmmh, yummy! Do you have one for mommy as well? , he asked with a wink and nodded towards Hayley.   

𝐇𝐈𝐒  𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒  𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒  𝐇𝐄𝐑  brought an instant smile to her face.  It wasn’t long ago that he couldn’t seem to disconnect from the ghosts that haunted him from his time in the field.  Things might not have been back to normal, especially with a young child that wasn’t their own currently playing a precocious blanket guest, but at least it felt as if they were moving forward, It felt like progress. “If you think this is chaos, just wait until you struggle with getting your mini version down for the count tonight. He’s been fighting snooze for the past few weeks and I think it’s your turn to see it for your self.”  Shifting the focus, even for a brief reprieve, made her feel lighter and the added weight of his head on her shoulder was the only thing that kept her from floating away. Fingernails lightly dragged paths along the nape of his neck, closing her eyes briefly before the two were joined. “We’ll figure it out, I promise, but we wouldn’t leave here without our boy. I have a feeling his parents will be the same.”

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Until that time came, Hayley would try to keep him calm, encouraging Junior to share with his latest friend, but only after gaining a share herself thanks to Cal’s suggestion. She chewed on it enthusiastically before watching him walk off to do the same with the little boy who seemed to be looking for his parents as well. The poor guy must have been a little scared. “You think it might be time to consider giving our son a sibling...?” The words left her mouth before she fully thought them over. They had experienced loss already when her last pregnancy ended in heartache, but seeing their son with another kid made her wonder how different things might be with another addition. It was a thought she should have kept to herself for a bit longer. At least until after a pair of panicked adults stepped into view of them, the little boy instantly perking up to the sound of his name being called and running off towards them.

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it’s finally over. trump has won. that is ( SADLY ) the candidate our democracy has chosen. this has, by far and in my lifetime thus far, been one of the dirtiest campaigns i’ve had to sit through, but it. is. over. now, is when the real work and challenge begins. no matter what, i am choosing NOT to live my life in fear or hate. i’m going to live it on the same principle i’ve lived the last thirty years i’ve been on this earth: that all people are inherently good and that there is good in this world. yes, i’ve been called foolish for it. a damn idiot by others, but that’s the only way for me to go through these days and years to come. i trust that we, as a people, have good in our heart. some are simply more misguided than others. some have veered off into a dangerous path, but they are not beyond redemption or learning from their past mistakes. i do believe that there is beauty and good in this world and in the people in it and i refuse to allow the election of one man curtail that. as a black woman, i have enough battles to wage on a daily basis. i will not carry this on my shoulders as another. i will show strength and beauty in my actions. i will live everyday as the gift it is. and i implore all others to do so too. i don’t look to every trump supporter as my enemy any more than i believe EVERY trump supporter looks to a hilary one as theirs. i won’t perpetuate a cycle of hate and anger and misunderstanding ( because, honestly, that’s where most hate comes from ) that has been fought against for ages. i won’t live in fear. i will live in love and work towards better. i owe it to myself, my family, my friends, and this world.

OH HOW NAIVE AND HOPEFUL I WAS IN 2016!  now i’m all fuck that noise, fuck the establishment, fuck a government that would not keep this man in check for four years, fuck every person that would vote in consideration of their personal gain rather than the well-being of a country, fuck every supporter that believes in him, fuck every person who thinks he should be left unleashed, and fuck any person who — after ALL the lost experienced in this year ALONE— believes that another four years is what this man deserves. do i still believe in the good of people? yeah, i do. i’ve seen it through the peaceful protests held for my dead brethren and the medical staff that keep trying to curtail such a vicious disease, but that light has also pierced through some of the shadows that show a broken system that seems irrevocably beyond repair. how can you fix anything when the people in power and seats see nothing wrong with what they’re doing? with what they’re putting others through? DO I HOLD HATE IN MY HEART? no, i don’t. i hold anger and sadness in there because i will never know what it feels like to have trust in political officials. that they have accountability to answer to those who voted for them and prove wrong those who didn’t. i’m tired. i’m pissed. i’m so over 2020.

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darkesthowl  :  CAL

               Panic rose inside of him when the little boy’s lip started to quiver. He didn’t want to scare him but this whole situation was a little overwhelming.Thankfully Hayley came back and instinctively he took a step toward her — as if he wanted to hide behind his wife. But the little boy was tearing up now and he couldn’t just leave the poor guy alone. We can’t just leave him here. Look, he’s leaking!, he mumbled and pointed at the boy whose cheeks were covered in salty tears by now. ❛ Wait a second… where’s our spawn?!, he added as an afterthought, his gaze already flickering around frantically; thankfully he caught sight of their little one right beside him, happily doing… whatever he was doing with one of his friends. Honestly, he had no idea what they were doing but it happened with a lot of giggled ans gibberish.
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               ❛ We cant’ take a strange kid home with us, right? ❜ Maybe it sounded like a stupid question but his parents had taken a lot of orphans in over the years to place them in good homes. Maybe this tiny one here had been abandoned? We should feed him. He looks hungry. Are you hungry? , he asked the boy and crouched in front of him to make himself less intimidating. He looked over his shoulder at his wife and sighed heavily. When is there ever a quiet afternoon with our family? Apparently we attracted the chaos. ❜    

𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐇𝐈𝐌  𝐀  𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊  he knew all too well at his comedic timing, she rolled her eyes with a snicker under her breath.  As will you if you keep it up.   She had comedic chops herself, smiling up kindly at him before offering a quick wink. He wouldn’t get the worst of it this go around. Swiping away the small boy’s tears, she grinned when their son mimicked her actions and began to talk to each other in a way only kids could. Hands rested on her knees as she straightened up, shaking her head to the idea of them taking a kid home with them while her eyes scanned the park.  I doubt that would be a good idea, especially if his mom or dad are looking for him. Just imagine if someone had come across little Cal before us.   No, taking him home would give his parents a heart attack in an instance. Her smile widened at the sight of Cal lowered down near the two, seeing the little nod of both their heads with the mention of hunger.  Guess it’s a good thing I packed extra.

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Leading them all away from the fray, she settled down near a tree that cast a nice shadow over the ground and opened the bag she brought with food inside. A little container of fruit for their son and his newest friend to share together was set between them. She held another up to Cal when he neared, nodding to the empty spot near her. It wouldn’t be a fun day out without a little bit of chaos. We met thanks to chaos, you know? It’s bound to follow us wherever we go too.

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skullbrand  :  FRANK

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𝐇𝐄  𝐇𝐀𝐒  𝐀  𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄  𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 ,  and  yeah  ,  while  this  place  seemed  safe  enough  ,  and  he’s  far  from  against  living  out  in  the  woods  —  the  idea  of  allowing  himself  to  drag  more  shit  through  the  bayou  wasn’t  on    his  personal  to  do  list  .  he  stumbles  a  little  in  his  word  choices  ,  takes  a  moment  to  look  at  the  other  before  letting  out  a  nearly  exasperated  sigh  .  ❛   thing  is  ,  i  may  have  a  place  ,    but  that  doesn’t  mean  i  should  stick  around  ,  but  you  are  right  about  one  thing  ,  i  think  it’d    be  a  good  place  to  lay  low  ,  make  sure  that  these  guys  stay  gone  ,        and  besides  —  you’ll  need  the  backup  –  regardless  of  what  your  people  are  capable  of        ❜    so  it  looks  like  he  does  have  a  place  ,  and  while  it’s  a  roundabout  way  of  saying  so  ,  he’s  going  to  stick  around  for  a  while  .  
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𝐈𝐅  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓  𝐀𝐍𝐃  only justification he had was playing bodyguard over a pack, then she’d accept the reasoning.  in his time there, he helped the pack with better tactics in approaching an enemy.  they learned how to better maneuver around their surroundings, using it to their advantage.  despite their loss, they had also grown stronger as a unit.  that wasn’t the sole reasoning behind wanting him to stay though.  it was an added incentive, but not the mediating factor.  it even went beyond andrea seeing him as an extension of the pack. it felt as if he were in just as much need of them as they were of him. good choice. i would hate to have to twist your arm any further to get my way.   he needed the calm from the calamity.  a bit of a reprieve.  and honestly?  a small slice of what a it was like to have a home now that that’s all settled— how about that drink i owe you?

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darkesthowl  :  CAL

               And he’d thought he’d been to hell on earth but apparently he was wrong. There was so much noise around him it was impossible to make out who exactly caused it. So many voices that Callum could barely tell how many people were here. His gaze darted around, frantically looking for the two familiar faces he lost a few minutes ago. How could someone on two tiny legs be so fast? And how could someone so tall and stunning simply disappear? He was lost. Callum wrung his hands and craned his neck to get a better look over the playground.
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               ❛ Hayls?, he asked weakly. Who was he kidding? No one would hear him over this incredible noise, the screams, the laughter, the gibberish. But before he could take a step forward and duck under the slide to get to the other side of the playground, something — or rather someone — slammed against his legs. Daddy!, the little one exclaimed but when Callum looked down, he raised a brow. You got the wrong dude, shorty. Try another one. ❜  

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑  𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑  𝐖𝐀𝐒  meant as a way to escape the confines of home.  She thought it would give him the reprieve he needed, while also giving their son a way to exert the boundless energy he had in his tiny body. She couldn’t imagine that so many other families would have the same thought in mind, or worst, that she would lose their son in the fray of bodies. Instincts dictated her movements, stepping away from his side in an effort to lay eyes on tiny Cal. By the time she caught up to him, laughing at the way he spotted her and ran off with a trail of giggles left in his wake, she would return to find a young boy staring up at her much taller husband. Balancing their son on her hip, she watched as Cal looked around for the child’s parent, looking caught off guard in the attempt.

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She moved closer to the pair, setting Cal down to play with a new comrade as Hayley scanned the area for any sight of a frantic parent. None were in immediate sight. “Think we should keep him company for awhile? Or is this a lot... I know it’s not the quiet afternoon we had in mind.” There was still a picnic packed and waiting. They could easily find a spot away from the fray to seek that calm day they were hopeful for.

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skullbrand  :  FRANK

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         𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓  𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐒  𝐀𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒  𝐎𝐅  𝐇𝐈𝐒  𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒  ,  he  had  a  home  ,  a  wife  ,  two  kids  —  a  fucking  family  ,  they’d  been  stripped  from  him  and  now  he’s  on  a  trek  of  vengeance  to  those  responsible  .  fact  is  ,  he’s  got  a  shoddy  apartment  ,  a  rent  by  the  week  sort  of  deal  ,  but  he’s  not  about  to  call  that  home  because  it’s  not  .  ❛      guys  like  me  ,  andrea  ,  we  don’t  really  have  a  place  to  hang  out  hat  —-  somethin’  i’m  sure  you  figured  out  by  now  ,  people  have  a  tendency  to  blow  that  shit  up       ❜
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𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐇—  𝐇𝐄  𝐇𝐀𝐃  𝐇𝐄𝐑  read to rights about that much.  it wasn’t necessarily by choice that the wolves lived and reigned in the bayou.  it simply wasn’t worth the war that would come should they fight against those circumstances, despite the desire some within the pack held.  she knew that the second they gained even an ounce of new orleans, that someone or something would come out of the shadows to snatch it right back. hell, they could barely sustain in the bayou without someone trying to destroy it.  “doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have somewhere though.”  she said, almost to herself after they managed to reach the outlining area of the bayou.  “look, it goes without saying, but i’ll say it anyway. you’ve got a place here when you need it.  whether it’s to kick your feet up or to hide out from whoever want’s to blow shit up.  it’s not much.  it might not even be home for you, but it is a safe haven when the time comes, alright?”

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fcmilysacrificed  :  FREYA

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              Vincent asked me to take over the leadership of the witch faction, Freya says casually in the middle of their lunch together. They make certain to meet regularly, both to keep themselves company during those tiring times and to recap: the events of the last week, Hope’s progress in her magic studies, Freya’s distinct lack of progress in getting rid of Hollow and whatever else weights heavily on their minds. Freya is immensely grateful for those meetings, just as she is immensely grateful for Hayley’s presence in her life. Right now, however, she cannot help the suspicion ( paranoia, really, one that would make klaus proud ). You work closely with him, do you not? To keep peace? Vincent overlooks everything, Hayley is the alpha of the werewolves and Josh leads the vampires. But politics of the city has never truly concerned Freya. I was wondering if he perhaps mentioned it to you as well. I do not mean to sound accusatory but, last time I checked, he still hates me; do you think it could be a trap of a sort?
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𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐀𝐍  𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑  𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑  than the questions that followed the initial statement, Hayley really had to give it up to the Mikaelson clan: paranoia was genetic.  “Of everyone in this city, do you really think Vincent would be the first to plot some elaborate trap? His would be straight to the point. I doubt he’s playing some long con,” especially after assisting in all the ways he had. If there was anyone who wanted peace, it was Vincent and something told her that Freya knew as much too.  “What’s keeping you from taking it on? Granted, you might not win many brownie points for what happened with Davina, but that’s been remedied now.” The city now knew what peace and cohabitation was like. Yes, there were a few power struggles along the way, but this was the closest to peace that they would ever find as a city filled with supernatural creatures. On top of that, Freya had plenty to give as a leader. A firm hand. An encyclopedia of knowledge. Powers that couldn’t be easily tampered.  Why wouldn’t she consider it?  “Are you afraid of setting more roots down or something? This place has become your home and I would think that’s something you’ve wanted for awhile now. It could give you just the outlet you need too. Resources. A coven of sorts. After all, I’m sure those witches would understand a lot more than this hybrid wolf would. Why are you hesitant?”

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skullbrand  :  FRANK

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        𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓’𝐒  𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓  𝐅𝐎𝐑  𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊  𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄 —-  the  question  that  draws  the  silence  from  him  like  a  black  hole  .  what’s  next  is  simple  ,  he’s  gonna  go  ,  find  the  son’s  of  bitches  that  tried  to  murder  him  in  the  bayou  and  then  take  the  rest  of  them  out  one  by  one  .  that  way  …  he  won’t  have  to  worry  about  this  shit  again  —-  and  also  ,  he  won’t  have  to  worry  himself  over  whether  they’ll  return  and  cause  problems  for  the  pack  .  ❛          who  knows          ❜      a  lie  ,  he’s  not  about  to  get  her  wrapped  up  in  his  shit  ,  ❛   go  back  home  ,  kick  my  feet  up  and  just  take  some  me  time  ,  right  ?      ❜
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𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐌𝐀𝐍  𝐃𝐈𝐃  𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄  a home.  one that he never spoke of, at least not with an ounce of warmth behind the word.  home was her pack.  the people she would lay her life down for were all she needed in terms of a home, leaving her to wonder what the term meant for him.  it seemed like a topic best prodded with a very light touch rather than a heavy hand.  sadly, she had yet to learn that subtle art form enough to perfect it.  sounds plausible enough.  just not for you.  do you have somewhere or something that really feels like home for you?  the whole  kick my feet up and just take some me time kind of place?  or kind of people?   or was that too personal to ask someone she barely knew, yet had shared her own major secrets with?  probably a bit…

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southerncomfortoutlaw  :  HANDYMAN

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HE LOVED SEEING HER THIS NEEDY. A smirk had slid across the wolf’s face as he peered down at Hayley. “I’ll get right to work on it then.” His voice was low and gruff. A low groan rolled off his tongue at the feel of her nails raking his exposed skin. “Tease.” He shuddered under her touches, mind not on the plumbing of this house right now. He’d check it later when they were not tangled in one another. His eyes followed her hands unfasten his pants only to watch her pull her shirt off. “I think I need you to make sure I got the right tool for those pipes babe.” He smirked putting the ball in her court. He was usually the first to jump at the opportunity of tearing those clothes off Hayley. 
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deathtake  :  MAMA CAT

In spite of the discomfort caused by close proximity to the water, it was impossible for her not to smile at the sight of Hayley and the joy she was having. She brought long legs upward, chin resting on her knees as she simply watched the younger with adoration. Things had finally begun to settle and they tarted to feel like they were back to normal. Amelia thought she’d be more sad leaving her old place behind but HOME was wherever Doc and Hayley were. 
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❛ I am having fun, yes. ❜

𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐍‚  𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐆  𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒  𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃  see the obvious unease her guardian felt from the water.  That alone was enough for her not to splash her too often outside of the incidental ones caused by her movements.  Staying afloat and close by, she couldn’t stop wondering how someone she viewed as stronger than any human could ever be, was so petrified by an element like water.  It wasn’t something she wanted to talk about.  Had she, Amelia would have simply told her long ago.  To ask her would mean drudging up something she didn’t want to tell her— or worst— Amelia lying to placate the young girl.  Biting back the idea of speaking on it, she pulled herself up to take up the empty space beside her.

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You know what’s really good after swimming?  Junk food!  Can we go find funnel cakes or something?  We can have more fun eating that than sitting here.

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