gaslighting all of you (and myself) into thinking this was the real spn finale, where the fam and wayward sisters go to the beach and have a good ol time (i am never gonna finish these so i might as well post them on this special day)

Here's why you need to draw what makes you happy.

In 2008, I was hanging out in the fandom community for House MD over on Livejournal. I made little House/Wilson pencil drawings. They were tame and simplistic, nothing like the supercharged digital photorealism I make now, but they were nonetheless realistic and quite popular.

Basically, I had fun making harmless art and sharing it with my friends.

That changed when a group of women—women older than I was at the time—took offense to the praise and attention I was getting for my little drawings and decided to make an "evidence blog." They gathered my drawings and overlaid them on screencaps I used for reference, and they created an elaborate exposé describing how I used Photoshop filters, tracing, and other tricks to fake my skills.

It was total bullshit, but thus began a nearly 15 year struggle sharing art online in the face of enormous (and sometimes enormously absurd) harassment.

I make fan art and share it on social media, which means my art is often an avenue in for people who don't know anything about art. I catch the attention of people who never look at art. I catch the attention of people who think the characters I've drawn belong to them. I catch the attention of groups within fandom communities who are very possessive and protective of characters and actors. I also catch the attention of the actors themselves. Very publicly receiving that attention has at times made people upset and has made me a target.

I know what it means to make and share popular art online. That being said, I cannot possibly explain in a paragraph how much harassment there has been and how bad it has been. It would be too traumatic to write it all down or even to summarize. Suffice it to say, the more art I made, the better I got, the more praise and attention I received, and the more I was pushed around. Or pushed out entirely—isolated, abandoned, blamed, ignored, accused. One foot in fandom communities and one foot in art communities and belonging to neither.

I have deleted dozens of social media accounts because of harassment. I've wanted to kill myself many times. Much of that is now behind me. Some of it remains.

I've been making realistic art since I was a child, and hearing things like, "You traced" and "All you did was copy" and "Why did you draw that" and generally being treated as a threat or a fool or a liar is absolutely not new to me. I'm used to being asked if I cheated by my own elementary school teachers. I'm used to being bullied by resentful or jealous classmates. I'm used to being question, isolated, dehumanized, and put up on a pedestal by people who are happy to add a talented artist to their novel collection of people they want to show off but never wants to be friends with. I'm used to being disqualified from contests or denied reward because adults can't handle the insecurity they feel when a child is good at drawing. I'm used to hiding behind my dad at art shows while he explains how I didn't trace to adults who should know better. I'm used to thieves and stalkers.

I'm used to hearing every hyperbolic and dehumanizing remark there is. I grew steel in my spine as a child, and it's still there. I'm used to hearing hate, and I'm used to reactions like those from the women who made that exposure blog 15 years ago. I'm used to being made to feel guilty for doing what I love.

But no one has ever stopped me. Not once in 15 years, during the most mind-fucked and relentlessly terrorizing harassment, did I ever stop doing what I love. Not one time did I decide "They're right, and I should quit."

After receiving thousands and thousands (literally!) of cruel, stupid messages and struggling countless times just to get to the next day where there was no guarantee the hate wouldn't happen again, I'm still making the art I want to make for the reasons I want to make it.

Those bitches didn't win.

Draw what makes you happy.

i'm curious

you can check which movie it was here!

pls reblog and put in the tags which movie it was :)

I've never turned my back on you. And I'm not starting now.

Am I the only one in this fandom who doesn’t see a need for Sam and Dean to die at the end of the series? Am I the only one who can see a life and a future for them? Killing them, making them sacrifice themselves? That would be the cheapest bullshit ending I can think of.

That time I saw into the future

So Painted Angels is a really great fic, and you should be reading it.

(painter!Dean and writer!Cas ?!?! perfection)

I am legit crying. OMG OMg Thank you!! This is so… No, I can’t. OMg

I miss you Unbearable-Bear

Dean and Castiel but they are a cheesy 80s pop duo

[idea by the lovely @sheepstiel]

Calling my OCs bastards is so amusing. Sir. Sir you created them. You are their only parent

@MissKajlich: Here we gooooo 🥰 #TheWinchesters

Would die to protect these wonderful lovelies

You reap what you sow, etc etc.

Bouncing off this post by @ltleflrt, and because most of this has been happening over the bird app, I think it’s relatively essential to cross-post this to Tumblr so that the Destiel community knows about it.

Strap in and get your popcorn ready. Here’s what’s been happening.

Technically, printing fanfic is illegal. But on that same basis, so is fanart and by extension, it’s as illegal to profit from fanart than it is to profit from words. That means every single one of our beloved fan artists are illegally selling their works through their website, Etsy, or RedBubble.

This is not to say you should stop supporting your artists, this is meant to say: this is common ground and if you’re actively against printed fanfic because ‘someone’ (being the printing site, the author or anyone else) is profiting from it, then I strongly advice you close your ao3 account (because the OTW doesn’t profit from the website but the company that’s providing the server is), stop any and all purchase of fanart and stop reading anything altogether.

Now, onto the story.

Two years ago or so, I released my very first hard copy. I had intended to only do one for myself, because I’m a sucker for books (it’s in my literal job description), and this story is important enough to me that I wanted to be able to hold it in my hands. When I talked about creating a book in my latest chapter’s notes on AO3, everyone was weirdly excited. To my greatest surprise, people actually seemed to want their own copy.

After a couple of research, some professional help (as I said, it’s in my job description), and I discovered the Lulu website, which allows you to print books in very little quantities at a more than reasonable price considering the cost of paper these days. Once I was done with the story and had prepared the correct files for the book, I told people I’d be releasing the link after I was done publishing the story on AO3.

Almost immediately after this, two different writers reached out to me and told me the same thing: “Don’t release the link publicly. There’s someone who takes joy in reporting anyone who makes a printed copy of their fanwork available and shut them down immediately. They’re gonna do to you what they do to me.”

Those two writers are prolific Destiel creator @nickelkeep, and @winjennster who wrote one of my favorite fic of all times, “Painted Angels”.

At the time, because I’m nothing if not a persistent asshole, I still published the link without taking their advice into account. As a result, I had my first (of many) Lulu link and account suspended in under 24 hours, and the crusade began.

I released hard copies for 5 other of my stories since then: Heart’s on Fire, Parachutes, Darkest Roads, Glory Hallelujah and the Suptober 2020 collection.

When I was still printing directly through Lulu, and even when people had to go through me first to get the link, it always ended up getting reported at one point or another. Because I’m a petty-ass bitch, I always got it back up, but what about those who didn’t have my thick skin? What about those with no support?

It continued to happen, to me and other writers ( @castielslostwings and Tricia_16 both fell to the same games, @malmuses had to resolve to only make their fics available through files that people would print through Lulu themselves, which is what most authors nowadays have been doing). Robin (Castielslostwings) ended up being reported even after she put the links to her story behind a paywall (people couldn’t access it until they got a basic ko-fi membership to access her discord server and the room with the link). That’s part of the reason why I opened my own website: to be able to control who got the books, and prevent people from shutting down my professional account with a printing service I use for work.

We reached another high in this story when the same group managed to report my entire website on the basis that I was using Warner Bros. and CW property. That was about six months ago, and again, because I have thick skin, a great support system and pettiness coursing through my veins, I got it back up.

We reached another high this week, when their group managed to get the AO3 Police and Abuse committee to take down my two most popular stories: ‘Patient Love’ and ‘Parachutes’. I have appealed this decision and meticulously reviewed both stories several times to make sure I don’t have even a sprinkle left that they can use against me. Still, the AO3 Police and Abuse committee has threatened to plain and simply delete the stories even though I complied with their demands, which is when I decided that I had enough of protecting the bully’s name even.

You can see screenshots and hear more about this part of the story here.

We’ve known who’s been behind this for years. The same name was given to me two years ago at the very start. Winjennster got her first hard copy of Painted Angels reported by the same person. Ltleflrt has been under the fire of a nasty hate campaign led by this very same person years ago for distributing hard copies of her stories. Nickelkeep is the first one who told me her name, and they’ve had the same issues with AO3 to the point where they had to actually wait several months until AO3 allowed them to post again and unlocked several of  their stories.

The name of that person, a fellow beloved writer of the Destiel community, is Palominopup.

Now let’s keep one thing clear: this group may pretend that they’re nobly defending the IP rights of Warner Bros., a multi-million dollar corporation with lawyers who make $800-$1000+ an hour, but the real reason is elsewhere; it starts with ego and ends with assholery.

This specific behavior should be a call for action to everyone who supports fanfic and writers; our fics are made for your own enjoyment, for fun. If this behavior keeps getting normalized, and more fics get reported because of targeted harassment like this, writers will simply cease sharing their new work with you.

Robin aka @caslostwings shared a thread about this that’s an important read relating to the situation.

Now, you may be asking “well what’s all this without proof”. Anyone can accuse anyone, with no proof to see, who are you supposed to believe? I’d counteract that when +10 different writers that don’t necessarily interact with each other on a weekly basis all have the same name for the person who’s been doing this for years that’s enough evidence, but I digress.

We were able to get our hands on the nifty documents that Fran aka Palominopup and her friend Susan have drafted several years ago for their little group of bullies. It’s basically a “how to” guide to report Lulu links to printed fic copies, and to report any fics to AO3 for a myriad of reasons.

Access to the doc here.

Censored inside source to prove that the doc is actually legit: click here.

Now that all the proofs are here, let me riddle you this: how ill and self-loathing do you have to be to make a complete ‘How-To’ guide on how to effectively implode another creator’s work? What’s the reason to do this other than ruining other people’s happiness and enjoyment?

What’s going to happen now is simple; this doc is going to get into the hands of antis who already have a grudge against us and will abuse it thoroughly and entirely. Expect more stories to come down, more authors to be disgusted and driven away from sharing their writing because of this.

Which brings me to the second point; this is exactly how you get beloved and well-established authors to stop writing and sharing their work entirely. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that if Patient Love and Parachutes end up being deleted by AO3, they will not get back up.

If you thought Palominopup’s nastiness stopped at reporting her fellow destiel writers, think again. The outright toxicity that stems from this convo between Nickel and their friend over the fear of having to deal with Fran’s sleaziness & vile behavior should be your last proof.

Nickelkeep’s source threatening them because Fran (Palominopup) is a tyrant and now this is ‘all over twitter’: click here.

To finish this: I have NOTHING to gain from telling everyone who’s been doing this.

Palominopup doing this shit has been known FOR YEARS and we all kept it shut because surely another Destiel writer couldn’t be behind all this abuse brought on multiple different beloved writers.

This isn’t me launching a vendetta on someone I don’t even read/know/interacted with before.

This is multiple different Destiel authors having had the same knowledge about her over the years and finally being fed up with it enough to say “I’m not protecting the name of the bully who’s been terrorizing authors for YEARS anymore”.

I’m not standing down anymore. I’m not letting this happen to more writers.

At some point, karma’s gotta work. Something’s gotta give.

Since last night and us collectively deciding to not protect her name anymore, our buddy Palominopup has been losing her mind and accusing several people who are not in her little bully group of leaking things, has managed to try and construct a story that somehow involves me being wanted by the FBI and Interpol (really?!), so let me finish by saying this:

Fran, honey, you made your own bed, it’s your own funeral. If you have to worry about something “getting out” and desperately try to find a guilty party, maybe it wasn’t meant to even exist in the first place. When you cause that much trouble you’re bound to receive it tripled down the line.

You are the problem. You reap what you sow, etc.

I’ve been made aware of people wanting to flood her fic comments with nasty shit: please don’t. We’re better than this. We’re not bullies. We don’t stoop down to their level. The best response is ignorance. Don’t read her shit. Don’t rec it. I hope people forget she even exists.

Know what you should do instead? Buy some kickass books. Support your local fanfic writers by reading their works, rec’ing them, tipping your favorite authors, or leaving comments on their work.

I have been in contact with the AO3 Abuse & Policy committee and they have been made aware of the existence of this document and what it means in regards to the use of their website. They are looking into it.

If you’ve made it to the end, here are your gifts:

Here’s a master list of fic books available. Be aware that some authors have taken the decision to not share theirs anymore because of Fran’s and her group’s behavior, so if they don’t respond to their DM.

The code “PALOMINOPUP” gets you 10% off your order on my website (because I’m made of pettiness and who’s going to stop me at this point? We’ve already hit rock bottom.)

I’m gonna end this by tagging some fellow fanfic writers to try and signal boost this as much as I can. Since it’s “one of our own” doing this to our own writers, I feel it’s important that people know about this as much as possible.

Be good to one another.

Love, always,

Jus aka chaoticdean.

— fellow writer taglist under the cut —

Keep reading

I will add to this that my lulu got shut down THREE times before I gave up and also if I have stories you like, download them because I am seriously considering deleting my AO3 and I assure I will not be orphaning my fics.

i love that skepticalfrog post where dean realizes cas is just Some Guy to literally everyone else and then he has to chew on some leather [ID in alt]