ever been so forgotten by everyone that you question if you even actually exist ? Mood

There has to be somewhere that everything is okay. Sometimes I wish that things would just stop moving. I feel so incredibly alone all the time and I don't know who to turn to, I don't know who or how to tell that I feel like killing myself constanty. I don't know how to make things better and it just seems to get worse and worse all the time. People tell me that they love me and that they're here for me and yet no one ever asks if I want to hang out, no one ever asks how I'm doing. No one can tell when I'm having a hard time, they can't see the change and I feel like I'm standing in front of a crowd of people and yelling and no one can hear me. I feel like I'm yelling and screaming and moving and no one can see me, no one wants to see me. I want to feel loved, I want to be loved so hard that even if I was gone for a day someone would miss me, just one person that's all I need. I want so badly to fit in with others and be a part of a group of people who love me and want to spend time with me and instead I just kind of float through my days and pretend like I'm okay with sitting in a room alone. I don't think people do it on purpose, I think it's my fault. I don't know who I am. Why would I expect anyone else to understand me. I try so hard to be nice to people, to know them and be there for them and no one is ever here. They're never here when I need them. I want to just die. I want the courage to go ahead and kill myself and I don't want to have to think about it because then people would miss me, then someone would see me screaming they would hear me. I want to be good enough for all the people I love, I want to fit in and have a good time and laugh and play and be loved

Are any of my followers still here?

I think I want to start posting again