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BipolarButterfly

@litelypaintedbutterfly / litelypaintedbutterfly.tumblr.com

I'm  just a inspiring care-free black girl trying to come to my own being in this judgemental world. Loving all my strengths and flaws. A future yogi, a jogger, mental healt survivor, sports lover, and a crossfit wannabe. Lol
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Truth is.....

Truth is do you really want something or do you only desire it because other people have it and society said its the norm. I had a conversation with my mom and I admitted something that came out of no where.  I told her “I realize I only wanted a boyfriend just because everyone else had one. I wanted to finally fit in and feel normal.” This thought had just came to me as an epiphany! I’ve noticed each time my girlfriend’s get into a relationship; I would suddenly feel the urge or desire to want to be in a relationship. Because we all know “Women are validated by who loves them” right?  “ You should be married and have kids by 35″? “ You should be far in your career by 30″ right? “ You should be health by having a slim waist, perky boobs, and fat toned ass ?” “ You should strive to be beautiful by having long silky hair and exotic features”? All this is true right? I realized all this is BULLSHIT!!!! We’ve been condition to think this way. If we fall short of anything that society says is normal, we are made to feel like we’ve FAILED. Don’t you dare refuse to question any notion of societal truth...you're officially OUTCAST-ED. TRUTH IS...I NEVER WANTED ANY OF THIS BECAUSE OF I WANTED IT.  I ONLY WANTED TO BE ACCEPTED AND FIT IN. But now, I embrace that I am was born to “different” and meant to stick out and not fit in with societal standards. The PEN , MARKERS, CRAYONS, and COLOR PENCILS are in my hands and I’M CREATING MY OWN IMAGE, STANDARDS, and DESIRES. I’m DESIGNING MY OWN MASTER PIECE.

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Comparison is always the beginning of the death...

Comparison is always the beginning of the death of self-love. Comparison is a daily brutalization against the self-esteem. Comparison sets the mark on its daily measure toward inevitable failure, and inadequacy. It doesn’t matter how beautiful you are because there is always someone more beautiful. It doesn’t matter how intelligent you are because there is always someone more intelligent. It doesn’t matter how much money you have because there is always someone with more money. It doesn’t matter how successful you are because there is always someone more successful. You see, this is a game you can never win. It does not matter how real your perceived deficits are; what matters is how you give life to them and amplify them through comparison and judgment against yourself. You are the supreme adjudicator of worthiness in your life. You decide how satisfied you are with yourself; no one else. You must cease all viciousness toward yourself once and for all. You can only evolve beyond the vicious self-analysis and violent comparison to others through loving yourself. If you can silence your constant judging you can have deeper levels of love and friendship with others and yourself.

— Bryant McGill

The Book: SimpleRemindersBook.com

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“Deep in my heart I know I am a loner. I have tried to blend in with the world and be sociable, but the more people I meet the more disappointed I am, so I’ve learned to enjoy myself, my family and a few good friends.” — Steven Aitchison

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Black Women and Black Girls with Depression, Bipolar Disorder, OCD, Panic Attacks, Schizophrenia, Borderline Personality Disorder, Multiple Personality Disorder, Suicidal Thoughts. To the Black Girls and Black Women who cut or can't leave the house because of anxiety. This is for all the Black Girls and Black Women with any type of mental illness

You matter. You’re important. Just keep trying and take it one day at a time. This is rough and a lot of our friends and family don’t understand. But we have each other. Just try and keep your head up. I know it’s hard and you’re doing an amazing job with what you have to deal with this. I love yall and I hope you have an amazing day, you deserve it ♥ ♥ ♥

I needed this

I needed this today.

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Dating as a black woman is frustrating for many reasons

One of them being that you can really like a guy but the minute you discuss antiblackness and the abuses that black women endure via black men, a lot of guys can’t handle it.

Almost immediately they get in their feelings about it or try to avoid being accountable.

They try to explain how everyone has to come together. Men aren’t the only problem. Black folks in general have issues etc. Like the amount of derailing brothers will do is disappointing.

Because really what I’m hoping that this guy isn’t going hurt me or be okay with the ways society accepts me being hurt.

But in derailing it to a “not all men ” or “women hurt men too” argument it kind of says to me that he is or he will be okay with the pain black men cause black women on some level.

the other hard thing is that they can talk to you and treat you with respect, and think that in doing so they love black women. but as soon as you begin to have conversations about the racism and sexism black women face, and even hint that *gasp* in many ways black women’s struggles are tougher than black men, they immediately show a kind of disrespect for black womanhood that negates any kind of respect they showed you when they were just trying to get at you. their violent rejection that they aren’t the only one’s that are black and struggling (i.e. not the only ones dying at the hands of police, not the only ones discarded in jails and prisons) only proves they have no idea what loving and supporting black women means…..

i had a guy i was dating kick me out of his house for trying to explain that even though he as a black man has it extremely hard, i do too because i am black and a woman. he had to kick me out of his house to hold onto that idea. like. do better?????? x 120000000000

Wowwwwww. Smh I’m so sorry that happened. Terrible

He proved your point…like many of them do, by doing whatever he could to end that conversation.

He literally didn’t want to hear how black women suffer but before hand had no problems with you in his space.

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The Black girls who u refuse to reblog are still valid and still matter.

Size 20 Black girls Scene/alternative/nerdy Black girls Black girls with acne or scarring Dark skinned Black girls who aren’t fuckable to u Monoracial Black girls with Black features Disabled Black girls Black girls who say “fuck respectability politics” Black girls with 4c natural hair Black girls who critique the Black community and the damage it has done to us.. Etc…

Like. Black girls matter whether you like us or not.

Black girls with albinism Black Girls who dont fit the carefree black Girl earthy look Black Girls with eating disorders Black Girls with mental illnesses

^^^

I’m here for this,

And if you reblogging I want you to actually support this in real life!!

^^^SUPPORT BLACK GIRLS/WOMEN ON AND OFF OF TUMBLR. MEAN WHAT YOU SAY AND STAND BY WHAT YOU COSIGN (THIS POST)

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blackrebelz

^^ Support black girls On and off Tumblr 2016

Black girls with “no edges” because honestly… I don’t even want to get into the obsession with hair and beauty that I’ve observed

Trans black girls

^^^ respect LGBT black girls who don’t want a threesome with you crusty niggas because we aren’t for your viewing pleasure & consumption

^^^^^ yes. Nd ppl assume im down for that like… Leave.

Black girls wit no ass. Black girls who aren’t “thick” Black girls who are loud and unapologetic/who constantly speak their mind

^^

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inkskinned

growing up with someone who hurts us as our guardian does more than make our childhood a flinch we don’t speak about. 

they talk a lot about how the cycle should be broken, but we have to break little habits, too. we are taught that love looks like yelling, that the only way to express ourselves is to explode. we say things like, “i’m horrible” because we mean “thank you for being with me.” we don’t know how to say soft things, are scared to confront our own feelings. 

it is hard. a lot of what we are taught gets under our skin. little things that hurt others without us meaning to. the result of living in a toxic house is that you can be toxic, too. even those of us who are doing our best to be better, to be nothing like our parents: we have to constantly check with our loved ones that we are not controlling them. we have to look at every behavior with a microscope - are we complaining too much? or is bottling it up not healthy? or are we just used to nit-picking? or is this a legitimate problem which we should voice? are we saying this nice enough but serious enough to get the point across? or are we being unfair?

the truth about bad parents is that it is not a childhood problem that erases in college. the one source of unconditional love you were supposed to receive ends up only loving you conditionally - only if you’re quiet, if you tread lightly. 

it is hard. we are the ones who have to read those “how to know if your partner is toxic” posts and see if we are displaying those behaviors. we live in terror of being our parents’ ghosts. 

but we can be better. we can make a house a home. i believe in you. you’re not alone.

(tears) this is me with everything I do(job, friendships, and family)

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