im tired

sorry if i come off as stupid, its because i am

guy who listens to tool: hey man you ever listened to tool?

guy who lives near a construction site:

Shh babygirl, I know it's not actually 7,000 steps to High Hrothgar. It's actually 763, but canonically, it's 7,000. Shh, I know love. It's ok. It's Skyrim Darling,followers can get trapped in walls,people can swim in mid air and you can break doors with dinner plates. Let it go. It will all be alright.

hate when this happens

someone said tony soprano😭

whatever

unavoidable that you will be the villain in someone else's story. You will be painted in an unfavorable light. You will be the irredeemable one. and all of this will happen despite how nice you might usually be or how kind or how respectful or how warm. and you will just have to move on.

yo im 4 year old rapper. my names napkin. and i just got sign, to

whenever i'm trying to talk myself out of buying something i don't need i always hear my old russian professor's voice echoing in my head: "WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?" and then i make an unwise financial decision

i need to (remembers that suicide jokes only hurt yourself and those around you) fag it up

Before you post on Tumblr, THINK!

T – Is it Terrible? H – Is it Horny? I – Is it Ignorant? N – Is it Nautically themed? K – Is it Kringe?

cooking as an adult is exactly the same as cooking in webkinz except when you make this

you have to eat it