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Elen, the Smut Queen

@elenilote / elenilote.tumblr.com

✨星のキセキ ✨땅콩✨
Random fandom hell, you never know what you're gonna get. Here since 2011 😭
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Actual roman epitaph for a dog

humans are the same

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bedlamsbard

I’ve seen this one doing the rounds a few times (and it makes me cry every time I see it), but was curious about the original Latin text, so I did some digging: it’s a shortened version of CIL 10, 00659, a tombstone from Salernum (modern Salerno, Italy). (source; CIL is the Corpus Inscriptionum Latinarum).

Portaui lacrimis madidus te, nostra catella,
     Quod feci lustris laetior ante tribus.
Ergo mihi, Patrice, iam non dabis oscula mille
     Nec poteris collo grata cubare meo.
Tristis marmorea posui te sede merentem
     Et iunxi semper manib(us) ipse meis
Morib(us) argutis hominem simulare paratam,
     Perdidimus quales hei mihi delicias.
Tu, dulcis Patrice, nostras attingere mensas
    Consueras, gremio poscere blanda cibos,
Lambere tu calicem lingua rapiente solebas,
     Quem tibi saepe meae sustinuere manus,
Accipere et lassum cauda gaudente frequenter

And here’s my translation:

Wet with tears I have carried you, our little (female) dog, just as I did in happier times fifteen years earlier (lit. “three periods of five years).  For myself, Patrice, now you will not give me a thousand kisses nor will you be able to lie lovingly around/against my neck.  I have sorrowfully placed you, merit-worthy, in a marble tomb and I have joined you always to myself in death, as by your cleverness you matched a human.  Alas, we lost such pleasures for myself!  You, sweet Patrice, were accustomed to join us at our table, to beg charmingly for food (while sitting in our) laps.  You were in the habit of greedily licking our cups with your tongue, which my hands often held for you.  Frequently and joyfully (you) receive a weary one with your (wagging) tail...

tl;dr: this dog was named Patrice and was very, very loved.  (another translation with some glossing of the text.)

STOP MAKING ME CRY ON PUBLIC TRANSIT DAMMIT

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great-grandma’s norwegian meatballs and gravy recipe

y'all remember that post about the person who fell out w their mom and posted her meatloaf recipe as revenge? well,

ALT

^ THIS is my mom’s copy of my family’s christmas eve norwegian meatballs recipe. i don’t even celebrate christmas anymore, lol

don’t worry, i transcribed and edited that mess into something more legible. here it is, under the cut:

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A retelling of The Ugly Duckling, where instead of a swan raised by ducks, it's a peacock egg that ended up being hatched by a chicken, called The Most Annoying Rooster, where instead of being sad about being an ugly outcast, the little peacock goes around like Excuse Me Are You Not Aware Of How Fucking Fabulous I am? And everyone except his mom finds him supremely annoying. The hen who hatched him is just like "no fuck you, my huge fabulous son can beat the shit out of all of your sons, you're just jealous."

Then the farmer whose chickens those are notices that wait shit that Fancy Chicken is in the wrong place, and as he tries to remove the peacock from the chicken coop, he refuses to leave without the hen who hatched him. So being moved to a more appropriate place for a peacock, the hen comes with him. And for the rest of his life The Most Annoying Rooster lives happily ever after as an Only Moderately Annoying Peacock, and if any bigger bird tries to do anything to the little hen, he will peck its fucking eyes out, because that's his momma who was always there for him, so he's always there for her.

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A book crystallized in the ocean

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blluish

oh mood

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raychleadele

NO NO NO.

This was not crystallized by the ocean. People. No. This is why artist credit is SO DAMN IMPORTANT THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE MISINFORMED HERE.

Alexis Arnold is an artist who creates crystallized books. Her work is amazing and beautiful, she’s made dozens of these.

This particular one was not made by her, however, it was actually created by Catherine McEver - who was inspired to try it after seeing a show of Alexis Arnold’s work. It’s literally the first picture on Google image results if you search for “crystallized books” and she posted about it on her blog showing other process shots as she made it.

TWO DIFFERENT WOMEN ARE BEING DEPRIVED OF CREDIT FOR THEIR CREATIVITY BECAUSE THIS FALSE INFORMATION IS BEING SPREAD. FUCK THAT.

Considering how many times I’ve seen the uncredited post on my dash I’m finally going to reblog it, with the proper credits.

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reblogged

yes all my favorite characters are desperate to be loved. no i don’t think that says anything about me

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kociamieta
Anonymous asked:

do you think angels would perch upon electrical lines and radio towers like birds

sure. looks like a nice spot to share the interesting things they saw lately

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kociokwiki

Uh oh. im afraid that wont end well.

i think we’ve just created something potentially dangerous

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