AlEvans Writes

Krux is something I find under a park bench sifting sadly through and empty bag of crisps and I take him home

Like this

Untitled Gelt Game

i haven’t stopped thinking about this since last night

This student emailed her philosophy TA after getting her wisdom teeth removed and it’s one for the books

Love you, bye! Read it and weep.

“I will most likely not be normal again until at least Thanksgiving turkey” is now my favorite sentence to use in the future

“please sir” and “i will buy you expo markers” killed me

Thanksgiving turkey and the casual love you bye killed me dead

Wisconsin White Deer Surprised by his own Antlers Shedding

aw hell no

Deer, although graceful and lovely, are fucking morons.

Who among us isn’t surprised when a part of our head flies off

As a southerner raised by rednecks, I can confirm that deer are adorable morons.

I’ve seen deer:

1.) Run from their own baby after it sneezed

2.) Run from a turkey that was chasing another turkey

3.) Run into the only tree in the middle of a field

4.) Run from ITSELF after IT sneezed

5.) Run circles around my house because a Mockingbird was imitating the wheezing sound deer use to verbally communicate a sense of unease

As a side note, as a Texan I can confirm that mockingbirds are total trolls who will also mimic thr sounds of babies crying and phones ringing so deer are definitely not the only ones getting freaked out by them

The child screaming inside:

sometimes I tweet about the funny/cute/utterly bizarre shit my 3rd graders do and say

the latest dispatches from room 156

happy monday folks

That is perfect. For those that still don’t understand, maybe this will help …

so apparently feeling like something is going to go wrong is called “anxiety” and not “spider-sense”

isn’t it the same tho

Have you seen Tom Holland’s version of Peter Parker, it’s definitely the same thing

normal type - eevee

dark type - umbreon

psychic type - espeon

electric type - jolteon

fairy type - sylveon

fire type - flareon

grass type - leafeon

ice type - glaceon

water type - vaporeon

———————-

Other eevee types we could have:

+Bug Type

+Dragon Type

+Fighting Type

+Flying Type

+Ghost Type

+Ground Type

+Poison Type

+Rock Type

+Steel Type

And you know what? we need a normal type eeveeloution too.

Like, maybe an eevee just wants to grow up as they are?

I like to imageon they have peacock like colouring and tails that fold down

Got stuck, made it weird

Must be a human pretending to be a dog 

(via)

You should know: George Michael was a fierce, fierce advocate for gay rights. His 1998 outing is a perfect capsule of what gay men have had to endure

Michael began his career as the singer for Wham!, along with former schoolmate Andrew Ridgeley, in the early 1980s. The group had hits with “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go,” “Careless Whisper,” and the enduring “Last Christmas.” And throughout his career, he’s always been unfailingly sex positive – before it was cool.

Gifs: BeeTheArtist

Wow I never realised it happened like that

Remember this, young LGBTQIA+ pals:

This was 1998. 22 years ago. This wasn’t “way back then,” this was the late 90s that he was forcibly outed. This was 1998 that a man was arrested for being gay. Not just any man, George Michael, a famous singer.

Stand-up comedian and actor Louis Anderson was blackmailed by a guy who said Anderson propositioned him; whether or not he is gay is beside the point. The same year George Michael was “arrested for lewd acts,” Louis Anderson was being blackmailed about a gay rumor - true or false, he had paid the blackmail for a year because being gay (or “rumored gay”) would have ruined his career.

Ellen Degeneres came out in 1997 and by 1998, it took a sharp downturn for inclusion of Ellen’s coming out as part of the plot and was canceled.

This is not “ancient history.” This is your heritage, kids.

Practical, not sexist or supposed-to-look-hot female armor which actually protects you.

Look. 

Look at the lack of tit cups. 

Bonus:

argument: captain phasma’s armor is supposed to look hot. but, this is the crucial thing, it looks hot from the point of view of the character herself, and makes perfect sense in the context of the story. 

“Phasma had the armor polished in chromium, which had been salvaged from a Naboo yacht that had once belonged to Emperor Palpatine of the Galactic Empire, the First Order’s precursor.”

phasma has spent like all her life in the first order, as a storm trooper. you ask any storm trooper ‘what would be the sexiest possible modification to your armor’ and none of them are going to say ‘cut a boob window’ they’re gonna say ‘plate it with something HARDCORE’. 

after they finish high-fiving, they will probably add, ‘AND STICK A CAPE ON.’

#other hot thing about phasma armour: #Gwendolyn Christie is inside (via @holdbeast)

a good thing has appeared on my dash!!!

also, ask a stormtrooper what they really, really want, and they might glance around a bit before saying, “individuality”

no one else looks like phasma, and for a stormtrooper, that’s pretty amazing.

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the ending funny as a bitch LMFAO