queenblanchetts reblogged
abovemyflaws-deactivated2018051
when my mother asks me
of my depression
I stay silent
not because i don’t want to
talk about the sadness that
crawls up in my bed
when the light goes off or
the sudden tear drops
that sit so comfortably
on my cheeks they’d have
no problem calling it home
but because I don’t know
how to explain depression
to someone who is
so full of light -
‘it’s the shaytan” my mother tells me
“don’t let him win, He wouldn’t burden your
soul with something you
aren’t able to surpass”
how do you tell someone
you hold so dearly, that the devil
has already won,
that he has taken shelter inside of
you for so long you can’t even
find an inch of yourself
in your own body
“i know, mama, i know” i tell her
not mentioning how I go to sleep
every night drowning in tears
hoping that this is
where Allah has decided
to end my story
how do you tell your mother
that you need more from God,
more love, more hope, more peace
without sounding like a disbeliever
and so instead I pray
‘Ya Allah, let me be tougher than this’
Suhur Omar, my story for now
