v i x e n

so I started a new anxiety medication this past week and so far it’s been going very well except that I have extremely vivid dreams and apparently sleep texting. I seem to have sent this at 3am and i have no memory of it

but i am Right

Lutra lutra, burning eye.

sin’s birthday celebration; 2023

the glorification of your 20s and fear of anything else has got to stop. mainly bc your 20s is quite literally the worst decade of your life the idea that ppl think you peak at 25 has me so sad for them

also when ppl act like 20s is peak sexiness. im 26 so if you presented a 22 year old as the pinnacle of desirability i would morph into a chimpanzee and rip you limb from limb. WHAT am i supposed to do with someone who hasn't even gone thru the age 23 ego death

Holding the laptop’s power button down because it’s crashed and there’s no other way to turn it off feels so unsettling. It makes me feel like I’m holding a cushion over its face while the life slowly ebbs out of it.

a karmic cycle

Cowboy Bebop - 15

those desktop computer towers with the windows on the sides so you can see glimpses of the computer's guts and brain as it's running are like. thats a boob window. youve given your computer the tech equivalent of a sleeveless turtleneck with a heart-shaped boob window.

i will ALWAYS clap my hands excitedly and lean forward in my seat when someone tells a character to "keep your dog on a leash" only for it to turn out they're referring to another person

the way it reframes the entire relationship dynamic between the two people being addressed. the way wilful loyalty becomes hopeless devotion. the way aggression and violence goes from honorable and rational to bestial and instinctual. the ways faith and trust intersect with codependency and reliance. the questions about power and who wields it in the relationship it opens up. the way it functions as both an insult and an expression of intimidation, of fearful submission.

The psychiatrist diagnosed me with divine madness

any other diagnoses you'd like to share?

Autism

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a really little animated black cat with giant eyes and no other discernible features

do you get it or do you not know anything

more examples that people keep getting upset with me for not adding

That’s just how black cats be

hope your days get softer from here on out. hope the hurt lessens and the dark turns to light. you deserve gentleness and good love. I hope it finds you soon.