Happy Anniversary, Z. 🥺 One year of hiding and shenanigans. On this day, it’s time to end what should have never started.
Thank you for everything you have done for me especially for making me feel alive again after being numb for three years. You have been with me for three quarters of this year plus some days of the last quarter. You have encouraged me to be the better version of myself when it comes to my work ethics.
..but you also encouraged me to be at my lowest when I chose to be with you and continue the thrill we both were looking for. I did things I never thought I could ever do.
During my borrowed time with you, although I know wrong, I was happy. You were my rest, you were always there to make me smile, to ask how my day went. Not physically, but you have always been there. Even on days I thought you can’t - you were.
We have opened up to each other too much, we chatted too much that we ended up being attached to each other. We then saw each other too much that we have tainted one thing that should have been important just to be with each other even for a little while.
You wanted me to depend on you, and I did. I let you made all the decision. You wanted to be with me? Okay. I’ll change my schedule since my leave was not approved. You want me to work there and spend the night? Sure, I’ll work in your place. You want to see me urgently? Okay, I’ll conquer my fear of motorcycle.
Looking back, despite the risk - it was pure bliss. That was the first time someone was scared for me not because I was sad or disassociating but because I was happy. So happy that I was willing to drop everything for you. So happy that I don’t care about the consequences.
I have said a lot of times that I am done, but for some reason - you just know. You know when to come back and when it was crucial. You always know how to get me back.
But not anymore.. This time, for real, I am done.. Done with all our shenanigans.
I will always be proud of you and your achievement, Z. I am and will always be rooting for you but I will not be here for you anymore.
Thank you for including me in your long term plans. Thank you for making me feel beautiful - you never failed on this one, not once. Thank you for making me see things in a different perspective. Thank you for being my number one supporter.
I learned a lot from you, Zaddy. I will forever be grateful for those lessons: may it be good or bad.
To live for the hope of it all..