we make a lot of “my last two braincells” jokes but the truest one for me is that scene in always sunny where mac says “i’m having a panic attack, i’m actually having a panic attack” and charlie says “drink more coffee, it’ll help you calm down”
Guys. Guys. Calculating tips. Just. Look at your bill. And move the decimal point one step left. That’s ten percent. Double that number. Now it’s twenty percent.
$100.00 bill? $10.000. Ten dollars. Double it. Twenty dollars. That’s a 20% tip.
$67.50? Now it’s $6.750. $6.75? Might as well be $7. Double it. Roughly $14. You’re not going to miss the change.
Please. I failed math three times
FLAWLESS
i spent the first part of my life as an overachieving gifted child and now i am a dumbass by choice. i’ve never been so happy
This has honestly helped my mood a lot thank you
i say a lot of smart things in mostly dumb ways
What if you said really dumb things in smart ways?
then you belong in academia
What about saying really dumb things in dumb ways?
a promising career in republican politics
I know it sounds fake but you really do have a lot of silent lovers on this planet who look at you and wish they had your smile or your hair color or your humor or your intellect or your intentions or your heart, your manners, your eyes, your ease, even just you. People who are too shy to tell you what they admire about you or what they wish for you or who they see themselves becoming bc of you & they’re too shy to tell you. even tho it isn’t verbalized, the universe has still heard and the universe has loved you for helping out on its creations. You’re that person. You’re you.
my mom is a well intentioned yet nosy mom and she always wants to hook me up with people. it leads to some text message gems so the other day i went through and screenshotted the best. please enjoy.
“I either just met a nice gay girl or a bigot” is bar none the absolute best text anyone has ever sent in the history of the human race nosy mom accidentally sums up the entire debate about the word q*eer in one historic text message it’s indescribably beautiful
For all you CowChop fans that would like to (re)watch classics with James and Aleks, I went through old Creatures classics and I made a whole list of nostalgic videos. I only intend to have this be the only list I provide but who knows, there *might* be a second part to this list but for now we have this! Some of these link to a series (like Supercast or Road to E3). Some of these videos do however include when The Creatures operated in the office so they do contain people like Joe, Aron and Dex! (Also I highly recommend also lisening to Creature Talk if podcasts are your thing)
Farewell Cow Chop (starts at 0:40)
Licia Ronzulli, member of the European Parliament, has been taking her daughter Vittoria to the Parliament sessions for two years now.
Every time this is on my dash, it’s an automatic reblog.
The plan for the 17th, when the adult content ban comes in, is to protest.
To do that, we are making as much noise either side of the 17th as possible, and using the site as normal.
On the 17th, dead silence.
People are saying log off but what they really mean is don’t open the site or the app.
But, on the 17th make as much noise as possible on every other platform. Tweet about it and post on facebook and instagram and everywhere else.
What this does is causes a massive dip in ad revenue for one single day. That does not make staff think ‘oh everyone’s gone let’s shut down.’ What it actually makes them think is ‘oh shit people aren’t happy and if people don’t keep using our site we’re out of money and out of jobs.’
A boycott reminds a company that the users (consumers) have the power to make their site (business) worthless with one single coordinated decision.
If you want to join in, here’s what to do:
Remember: the execs don’t care about anything but money. Shutting down the site means there’s $0 further income from it. That’s their last possible course of action. If we make it clear we’re not happy, they’ll have to do something or we can do more and more until it becomes too expensive.
Protests take commitment. They’re a defiant action against a business that is doing something wrong. They will try to scare you into not participating, because they’re scared. We hold all the power here, sometimes the execs just need to be reminded of that.
at the very least, do this
Just a reminder for tomorrow, I’ll be joining in with this
“I miss talking about the stars with you, I miss everything with you, oh shit. I love you, I love you, I love you.”
— Please, remember me. (via coral)
I saw this thread on twitter and was able to get screen shots literally minutes before the Grand Prairie Texas High School resource officer deleted his account. In just one day @flybrownhuniee’s tweet had over 70,000 retweets and 180,000 likes.
They look so proud of themselves. I’m actually embarrassed for them. These are adults in charge of children, and they’ve lowered themselves to taking selfies with property they’ve stolen from the young and defenseless.
Such bravery these cops display. Literally stealing candy from children, and then hiding when an armed shooter comes to murder children. Thin blue line who?
Does anybody remember this “go nuts, show nuts, whatever” gem? Oh how the mighty have fallen.
You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain
Or is she just being friendly?
My favourite game
Update: she fancies me
Update: She’s my girlfriend
Update: We live together
Update: We just got our first house 🏡
Update: Here’s us with our first Christmas Tree
Update: Here’s a little doodle of us I had commissioned for her birthday
Update, we’re engaged
THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER
this is so bad this is the worst thing
