Hey yea I do, but no need to apologize! I'm glad if I can help. First of all yes I dye my hair by myself, and I use directions violet and a tiny amount of dark tulip (to achieve a more vibrant tone) and mix those two dyes with conditioner. Currently I also use a silver toner from Wella to get a more grayish tone in my hair. You need to bleach your hair really bright blonde to get the color I have. Good luck! xx