★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★

Staying at your parents’ house is not free it costs you your mental health

[johnny bravo voice] puppy dog

every line of this tweet hits like a punch in the face

I think a cocaine addiction is more ethical than owning four homes in the new york metro area.

#cottagecore

this and a blunt

Pets love to show up like Hello i am Mystery Wet :)

Me: "Cat, why? Where has this tail been?"

Cat: "Perhaps I explored the tub after your shower. Perhaps I sat too close to the sink. Perhaps it is pee. I love our little mysteries."

have i ever shown u people my hand sofa

my prized possession is this loveseat I bought from a divorced dad who couldn’t tell me anything about it and in the years i’ve owned it i’ve never been able to find out who made it or where it came from. it’s got nails and finger creases and palm lines but they’re all kinda hard to see in this pic.

Been playing Breath of the wild during this winter. Who doesn't like a guy that makes some nice roasted apples? 🍎👌

glad this resonated with all of the freaks i love you

I’m so happy I got this shot earlier holy shit

cats would be so fucking upset if they understood they were missing out on the ability to lie verbally

( tags via @saccharineomens )

Anyway here’s a poem I wrote about my cat

After “Do not stand at my grave and weep”, author disputed:

Do not stand at your bowl and meow. I gave you food. It’s in there now. I feed you at the dawning light, I feed you at the fall of night. I feed you kibbles mixed with meat And wet food for a special treat. I feed you even though you scoff At all the food within your trough. I feed you and still yet you yell Like as a beast from deepest hell. Do not stand at your bowl and cry. I gave you food. You will not die.

I wrote one for my roommate’s cat as well;

Do not stand at my feet and cry It’s VEGETABLES, you silly guy! Your begging will not change the food Into a thing you think is good I’ll give you things not cheese or meat You sniff at them and then retreat And yet, as soon as chopping starts You run back in and beg for parts You squint your eyes at plant-based food And yet you won’t stop BEGGING, dude! Do not stand by the stove and bleat You don’t like this. You will not eat.

I haven't had the best day, but this...this made me laugh so hard I had to get a tissue and wipe my eyes 🤣🤣🤣

@bestnoncannonship Samson

@petermorwood