...and i will not be afraid.

I've been lavendroused since what now feels like the dawn of time but now that I'm in my doctor who era 2.0 well let's just say a Statement Of Fact that is very close to my heart is not in fact currently claimed by anyone on this site 👀👀👀👀

there now look what I've gone and done

I've always had a hard time coming to terms with my aroace identity, especially the asexual part. The main reason is that I never really had any of the experiences that most of my peers on Tumblr did when they came to terms with their asexuality.

I first discovered asexuality when I was a freshman in high school. I read an Instagram info graphic and thought "hmmmm this might be how I feel." There was no light bulb moment where I realized I wasn't broken and that what I was feeling wasn't abnormal. Just a mild curiosity.

So I began exploring more info graphics and googling about asexuality to see if I truly did relate to it. And the more I searched, the more confident I felt that I was asexual. Then, looking for an asexual community, I came to Tumblr. And under the asexual tag, it was post after post of people lamenting how broken they felt before discovering the term asexual. How it was a lightbulb moment where they realized, "I'm not broken, and everything I'm feeling is valid."

Now, I do want to note that I do not intend to insult people who post about/relate to these experiences. There are thousands of these posts for a reason. I'm just saying that for me personally, they were detrimental to my own asexual journey. I never felt broken. I didn't have an AHA! moment when I first came across the term. I just had a mild curiosity that stemmed from a small spark of relatability to the asexual definition.

So I saw all these posts I couldn't relate to at all, and I began to question if I was actually asexual. After all, if every asexual shared these experiences, how could I call myself asexual if I didn't experience any of them?

All of this was further exacerbated by the transition to high school. I went from a predominantly white middle school to a high school with maybe one other white person. All around me were minorities with experiences I couldn't relate to. So, I began to wonder if I was identifying as asexual just to put myself into a minority group. To make myself fit in more.

And I would try to share these feelings with anyone who would listen, anyone I thought could relate, but nobody did. I was always met with pity. I never wanted pity, I still don't. What I wanted was for someone to agree with me. To show me that I wasn't the only one who felt this way. That I wasn't broken or alone.

I looked at all these experiences and decided that I couldn't possibly be asexual. And that even if I was asexual I wasn't asexual enough to claim it as part of my identity.

I discovered I was asexual when I was a freshman in high school. I didn't feel comfortable identifying as asexual until the summer after I graduated.

Even now, many years later, I still don't really feel pride in my asexuality. At least not in the way I feel about my aromanticism. I identify as aroace, but it's always spoken with an underlying connotation of I'm aromantic! and also asexual. As if my asexuality is just a thing that's there, rather than a part of me that defines how I interact with this world.

For everyone who relates to anything I've just said know that you are valid in your sexuality. There's no one right way to realize your aspec, no matter what it might seem when scrolling through these tags.

I wish I had someone say these things to me when I was coming to terms with my asexuality. I think I would have been a lot happier if they did. If just one person who's struggling with their identity sees this and feels better about themselves I will consider this post a success.

Anyways, for those of you who read this whole thing, thank you, I know it was long, but it means a lot to me.

i like to think that, in the spirit of s6, if amy had a normal pregnancy she would still imply that the doctor is actually the father all the time and every one else would find it extremely unfunny

I genuinely think humans are naturally good and kind when external forces such as capitalism aren't frightening them into only acting in their best interests.

For example the fish doorbell. Fish looking for a place to spawn get stuck waiting for the weerdsluis lock to open so they can carry on swimming to a breeding ground the fish doorbell is a live stream where you can look out for fish if you see a fish you tap the doorbell icon on the fish doorbell website I checked and it said 942 people were also looking at the live stream last time I was there. Despite everything going on in the world 942 people took time out of there day to check if a fish needed them to ring a doorbell and that is the kind of thing I think human nature really is about.

People are brilliant and thoughtless and funny and easily swayed towards prejudice but also caring and driven to apathy sometimes but we're also bloody resilient and so much more.

“When the seas and mountains fall and we come to end of days In the dark I hear a call, calling me there, we will go there and back again.” - For the lovely and gorgeous Haadiya ( gallifreystands )

YAOI IS A HENTAI GENRE??? I THOUGHT IT WAS A HOMESTUCK CHARACTER

your post broke and said that this was a sponsored tumblr post and it made me very confused

Sponsored yaoi homestuck post

infinite handcuffs hack

@a-captions-blog

[Image description: The meme of two fat dogs supporting a sign, edited to say, ‘I hope you get good news on something you’ve been waiting on. You deserve it.’ \End description]

points have been made

Counterpoint

an addition

We’re done

An exclusive look into the workings of the mind of the average tumblr user

"Very much the Doctor of the modern age."

online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't think anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.

im like if a prey animal walked right into a predator animal's arms n nuzzled its shoulder n looked up at it with big adoring eyes

Periodic reminder that you're not over reacting. The multitude of ongoing Horrors really are

And you're having a rational emotional response to this Material Reality. Now, take a deep breath. Rest if you can, and don't give up hope. We need each other now more than ever.

turn up that fucking hurdy gurdy