@silverluminosity / silverluminosity.tumblr.com
Won’t lie, if I were having a rough time and the office himbos brought me mac and cheese I would be cured.
Small, clumsy kindnesses, earnestly given, are more healing than you would believe. More adults should be willing to show the tender caring that a little kid expresses when they say, “You looked sad, so I brought you a rock.”
A customer contacted our team with questions, and then finished their email with: "I am daunted by the complexities and unknowns." I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.
Reblog if you are daunted by the complexities and unknowns
Non cooking spray stick
Non spray stick cooking
Non cooking stick spray
Our blessed tumblr
A holy site
Nah nah nah, you ain’t hiding this in the tags
Not one of the 7 deadly sins, but a secret 8th sin
sorry what
chimney swifts are so weirddd theyre like if birds decided to be bats.
thats bats. those are bats. to me
just like what a strange little creature. theyre related to hummingbirds. they cant actually sit and perch like most birds, the best they can do is cling to vertical surfaces. almost everything they do is done in mid-air. they have to drink by swooping at the surface of water with their mouth open. they build nests out of twigs they break off of branches as they fly by. they eat 5000-6000 bugs a day. And theyre the next president, of the united states of america
I’m a huge fan of yours (requested by Anonymous)
For context: In that production of King Lear by the Royal Shakespeare Company, Sir Ian McKellen, playing the titular character in a scene where Lear has essentially gone round the bend, strips completely naked right there on stage. New York critic Michael Portantiere, noted in his review, “Special note for those who care about such things: In a brief nude scene, McKellen amply demonstrates the truth of Lear’s statement that he is ‘every inch a king’.”
The above scene is amazing but I also feel we need to take a moment to appreciate the fact that a respected theatre critic took time to mention in their review of this production of King Lear that Ian McKellen has a truly impressive penis
@bucklikethedollar why would you hide poetry like this in the notes
Day/Night
aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall
Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.
Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him
This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.
Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.
It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance
They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.
if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes
Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.
Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.
this is too good to leave hidden in the replies
fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard
they should solve gendered awards by adding a third award for best lgbt performance but there's no definition of what makes an lgbt performance so theoretically this category includes straight actors playing gay, gay actors playing straight, all non-binary people, and anything that just has a little bit of Vibe. obviously this barely solves the problem and creates a lot of new problems while also being offensive and the twitter discourse would be hell but it would be entertaining to me and therefore worth it.
yo mr white can you switch me back to wet food this dry shit sucks bitch
"capitalism breeds innovation" was only ever true in the mid-2000s when cell phones kept getting more and more fucked up
^ healthy and diverse breeding practices
^ wild inbreeding in pursuit of uniformity and an arbitrary ideal of breed "purity" resulting in gross health complications
Back when I worked at walgreens I didn't know witch hazel was a real thing people would come in asking for it and I'd be like yeah it's on aisle 3 next to the wolfsbane and eye of newt you fucking idiot bastard
By talos this can't be happening again
It's always funny to me when someone's like Americans suck Americans are so weird and I'm like yeah buddy you'll get no argument from me and then they go on to be like "ew they SMILE at you on the BUS" or "they say THANK YOU TOO MUCH at restaurants" and I'm like wait hang on thats what you're going with???? We do WAY worse stuff than that dude like are you sure that's your final answer
Oh exactly
