sometimes I get so jealous of other people’s social skills. like damn. they can talk to people?? and people like them?? look at all those people who like them. wtf. illegal

this feels like an ancient form of english that is modern humans can only vaguely comprehend and it makes me want to die

this could be us

sunny has the worst/best case of puppy face I’ve ever seen on a snake

in school/at work: can’t cope because it’s all too much, too many things craving attention, longing for some sweet alone time without school/work: can’t cope because no schedule, also Boredom™, if i spend one more minute alone doing nothing i’ll lose it

Lauren Batchelder of Chester N.H. waits for Donald Trump to stop talking after interrupting her and to continue with her question on women’s rights at the No Labels Problem Solver Convention in Manchester N.H. on Monday, October 12, 2015. (Glenn Russell, Burlington Free Press)

put this in the MOMA

I honestly thought this was a meme I never heard of, like someone photoshopped this indignant lady meme onto a picture, but apparently not.

“the fffuuuu rage face guy is actually the funniest joke” says st peter at he casts you out of heavens pearly gates. you clasp your sweaty palms together. “you mocked it"he said. “you thought it was shit”

where is this who is this powerful man

pelcan Mouth perfec t size for put baby in to n\ap! inside very Soft and Comfort baby sleep soundly put baby in Pelican Mouth. Put Baby In Pelican Mouth. no problems ever in peliccan mouth because good Shape and Support for baby neck weak of big baby head. Apelican Mouth yes a place for a baby put baby in pelican mouth can trust pelican for giveing good love to baby. friend pelican

this was written by a pelican

me getting up at 3 am to consume water

the true gay girl dilemma: life goals or wife goals?

If you’ve ever been a customer fuck you

honestly, that’s fair

what did these penguins do to the scientists to deserve this

researcher: okay so we’re calling these “african penguins” because it lives in africa

penguin: bites researcher

researcher: hey fucker guess what new idea

i love everything about this

When they say “boys will be boys” this is what they mean

so i work at a retirement home and one of the residents heard me saying “mood” all the time and she asked what it meant and now she won’t stop saying it

another resident fell over and she was just like “mood”