friends can break ur heart too

THIS IS THE REALEST THING I HAVE EVER READ

it always really bothered me when wait staff ignored me + my friends just because we were young bc we are all really respectful people but the assumption was that we wouldn’t tip

anyway so fast fowards to when i became a waitress and one day this group of scrubbyass kids came in and i had 8 other tables with other people to look to but i overheard that one kid wanted a milkshake but he couldn’t afford it and the other kids offered to pay but he was like “nonono it’s fine” and i looked over and he just looked real run down and sad and stuff —- later it just so happened that our kitchen had a mixup so we had an extra shake and since it would just be dumped otherwise, i snuck it out to their table and gave it to him for free

and his friends were so fucking impressed by this they pooled every fucking cent they had i got a $50 tip and later his friend’s mom came in and said “i heard what you did for that boy” and gave me another 20 and offered me a better job working with her

and meanwhile at my other table a rich white guy i was serving complained bc he didn’t want to pay the 15% tip on a $8.90 bill and when his wife said “she’s been a good waitress, though,” he said, “but just plain good isn’t worth 15%”

When men say, “I only fuck girls with tight pussies.”

Do you know what a tight pussy is?

An un-aroused pussy.

Your sex game weak.

Bye.

I’m glad this sentiment is gaining traction. Spread this shit like wildfire.

this is what procrastination is truly like

I called my cat “my son” in front of my dad ONE TIME and now every time he wants the cat to leave him alone, he says “go see your father!”

My dad when he sees im reading Looking for Alaska

dad: i dont want to spoil anything but its just a little left of canada

romance is alive

If happiness is staring you in the face, you better reach out and grab it as fast as you can and kiss the fuck out of it idk I’m kinda drunk

yes

im sorry, but can you honestly look at this and say “nope, i dont want it on my blog” cause I cant.

my fav victorias secret model

I love this :’)

This is so important I have to post it.