superhero-gerbil reblogged
superhero-gerbil reblogged
superhero-gerbil reblogged
I think they should make a fighting game where all of the characters are from the public domain
WHAT'S THIS? IT'S THE GREAT GATSBY WITH THE STEEL CHAIR
hold on
I'm working on it
wheres winnie the pooh
i wish not to expose him to the horrors of combat
he's the announcer
"Oh Bother, here comes Chtuluhu with the ladder."
superhero-gerbil reblogged
Doctor Who era’s summarised with confusing spoilers
One: My kidnapper is annoying and won’t shut up.
Two: Are Scotsmen hot? Yes. Very.
Three: Are the military okay? No. Except that one Sergeant; he’s sweet.
Four: How many problems can be solved by confectionery and talking out of your arse? More than you would expect.
Five: Single father of three going to be great dad one day.
Six: Tailors are evil and so are the BBC.
Seven: Belief in communism will repel zombies.
Eight: What’s worse than death? The US healthcare system.
Nine: Finding people annoying is not mutually exclusive with overwhelming love for humanity.
Ten: Can a man be both a twink and a lesbian at once?
Eleven: Baby is also eldritch figure from dawn of time.
Twelve: Punk grandad just wants to play guitar.
Thirteen: Local woman under impression that constant longing looks at blonde lady friend definitely mean platonic affection.
No lies detected
I can. Belief in communism repels future mutant vampires, not zombies.
Chaos and opportunity
With Twitter turning into the chaotic hellscape that only a very few rules were preventing it from being, now is the perfect time for compromised creators to reveal what they had planned for their stories all this time. If the parent companies want to sue them for breach of contract, they could just say it was somebody on the internet impersonating them.
Plausible deniability and all that.
superhero-gerbil reblogged
The gang’s all here folks!
Edit: proshits do not fucking touch this post is not for you
superhero-gerbil reblogged
Harley Quinn who recently kidnapped Bruce Wayne and texted Scarecrow to meet her: “Alright Brucie Boy, you’re probably wondering why I kidnapped you, and don’t worry! It’s not for anything “villainous” or the like. You might not remember it but I remember me and you being in med school together along with Crane and I thought we could form a club since we never got to start one in school since you dipped in the middle of the year!“
Scarecrow who just walked in: “That’s seriously why we’re here? I thought you needed my help. You said it was urgent.”
Harley holding up a tote bag: “It is urgent! I made t-shirts and I need to know if they fit!”
Bruce who honestly just wanted a nap: “Let’s just see the shirts Quinzel.”
Scarecrow: You’re actually going along with this!?“
Bruce raising a brow and looking down at the rooes that are binding him to a chair: “I don’t have much of a choice…”
Scarecrow: “…Fair point. Okay Harley show us the shirts.”
Harley pulls out a crop top shirt proudly, it’s half red, half black that has ‘OFFICIAL FUCK FREUD CLUB’ on the chest: “I got em personalized! Bruce gets a black turtleneck because he was the soft goth boy in med school and he’s still a little goth baby. John you get a flannel that has the sayin’ on the back! Aren’t they cute?”
Bruce remembering how much he hated Freud and having to listen to his methods and ideas in school, and how he, Harley, and John would shit talk him in their study group: “Okay I actually love this idea and the shirts.”
Scarecrow trying to hide how touched he is: “You got me flannel?”
Scarecrow, after 3 hours of group bitching: I still cant believe you’re willing to do this- Harleen and I are Super Villains now!
Bruce, having been untied and drinking the Irish coffee Harly brought out: A) I have never had any sense of self preservation-
Harley: Which we remember vividly!
Bruce: -and B) I run a multimillion dollar company while having at least 5 kids; you dont know how much chaos I have to put up with on a daily basis. This is a vacation by comparison.
Harley: Wait - what do you mean by “at least” 5 kids???
Bruce: I do not adopt these children. They adopt me.
Harley: Okay you have to be bullshitting me.
Bruce: One day a blonde one named Stephanie just showed up at my house with my middle child saying they were dating, they broke up like a month later but she hasn’t left yet.
Harley: …honey I’m pretty sure that’s a home invasion-
Bruce: I mean my butler did give her a room and I offered to adopt her, but she refused that…however she’s still there and stealing my coffee every week so I don’t know.
Harley: …why-
Bruce: Her Father’s Cluemaster.
Harley: Oh FUCK that guy. Yeah, give that poor sweetie some hugs and a college education, stat.
Harley: *pulls out a massive fucking psychology textbook*
Harley: In the meantime let’s talk about your rampant abandonment issues and repressed desire for a family!
Bruce: Oh christ not again.
Scarecrow: Finally! Time to get to the fun part!
Bruce realizes this and steers the conversation into a convincing argument that Clark Kent is Batman “the butts match!”
superhero-gerbil reblogged
I can’t imagine the balls it takes to be a Russian anti-war protester right now. Good for them.
Right now, holding up a sign in St. Petersburg condemning this war is the textbook definition of “neither safe nor careful.”
But they’re proving to anybody in Russia who thought they were the only ones who opposed this war, that they’re not, and reminding the rest of the world that a government is not the people it claims to represent, and I am deeply moved by their courage.
superhero-gerbil reblogged
Hi, guys!
As you may know, I am Ukrainian. I live in Kyiv. I have lived here since I was born and I love my country with my whole heart.
I see a lot of misinformation under the tag "Ukraine". Most of it comes from American people, who try to explain the conflict in their own words. They can't. It's impossible to explain if you haven't lived here. There are too many influences on this conflict. You keep looking from an american perspective, which is not crucial in understanding the conflict.
For example, have you ever had you language forbidden? Like straight up forbidden by the law? It happened to Ukrainian language a lot of times thought our history. And who did it? The Russian Empire. And it's not the end of it. The genocides, the assimilation, the deportation. Have you even researched Ukrainian history?
You do not uplift Ukrainian voices enough. And you should if you care about what's happening. If you don’t do it, you're just doing a performance of your support and activism.
Lucky for you, I am a Ukrainian person! And I am DYING TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS. I scored 191/200 points on my graduation exam in history, so you can suppose I know something about Ukrainian history.
If you stand for Ukraine, uplift Ukrainian voices. Educate yourself. Learn Ukrainian history. Ask Ukrainian people
Ok, so, I’ve been reading alot of the old Sherlock Holmes stuff and I think I’ve found a thing.
We’ve had Straight Sherlock, We’ve had Gay Sherlock, We’ve had Bi Sherlock, so prepare yourself for... Asexual Dom Sherlock. Fascinated with sex in a purely scientific manner, with no interest in partaking in it. Has a vast knowledge of sexual topics, much to the discomfort of the society he keeps, but with no desire to enact on it. You could still have Watson as a thirsty sub if you want.
superhero-gerbil reblogged
core classes as undead :)
yahoo answers urgent how do you kiss when your heads are both fire
superhero-gerbil reblogged
According to my nephews Julius Caesar book, Guy Fieri was there.
on the lookout for some funky joints
Dini, Drivi, Divi
superhero-gerbil reblogged
You know what fantasy writing needs? Working class wizards.
- A crew of enchanters maintaining the perpetual flames that run the turbines that generate electricity, covered in ash and grime and stinking of hot chilies and rare mushrooms used for the enchantments
- A wizard specializing in construction, casting feather fall on every worker, and enchanting every hammer to drive nails in straight, animating the living clay that makes up the core of the crane
- An elderly wizard and her apprentice who transmute fragile broken objects. From furniture, to rotten wood beams, to delicate jewelry
- A battle magician, trained with only a few rudimentary spells to solve a shortage of trained wizards on the front who uses his healing spells to help folks around town
- Wizarding shops where cheery little mages enchant wooden blocks to be hammered into the sides of homes. Hammer this into the attic and it will scare off termites, toss this in the fire and clean your chimney, throw this in the air and all dust in the room gets sucked up
- Wizard loggers who transmute cut trees into solid, square beams, reducing waste, and casting spells to speed up regrowth. The forest, they know, will not be too harsh on them if the lost tree’s children may grow in its place
- Wizard farmers who grow their crops in arcane sigils to increase yield, or produce healthier fruit
- Factory wizards who control a dozen little constructs that keep machines cleaned and operational, who cast armor to protect the hands of workers, and who, when the factory strikes for better wages, freeze the machines in place to ensure their bosses can’t bring anyone new in.
Anyway, think about it.
- Construction wizards to turn back time to root out wood worm and strengthen old buildings.
- A wizard tailors who transmutes cloth into fully made clothes without seems and leaving behind no scraps
- A wizard who works in public transit, timing out teleports with detailed schedules, time magic, and enchanted communications, sending dozens of people to far away cities for a day or work or leisure
- A team of wizard gardeners tend to trees grown far outside their native range, and ideal climate, encircled with runes and fed potions to grow none the less
- A wizard sits in their office in the aqueduct, re-casting the spells that allow its precious water to flow to the city uphill
- A wizard fisher casts water repelling spells on the sailors and the stairs, keeps the hoist on the anchor from rusting, casts balls of heat that keep everyone warm below decks. Their real job is to herd fish together so they can be caught in single huge nets, and keep them cold as the boat returns to land.
There are so many possibilities outside of “stodgy academic who wears ugly robes” and “Very good holy man who helps everyone and the fact they’ve never had a job is never brought up” and “evil wizard toiling away on great evils in his evil tower in the evil country.”
trinket-the-bear
- Wizards who come out and ward your home for you, like the magical equivalent of a home security system.
Historical revisionist musicals
I might be late to the party on this, but I’m noticing a trend recently in terms of historical figures in history getting musicals devoted to them, painting them in a different light. I would call it being “Hamiltonised” or “Getting a Sweeney Todd”, but I don’t know if they were the first or if there are ones before it. Either way, I’m here for it. I’ve just finished listening to a bunch of songs from SIX and the tunes are good and the points they raise about the six wives of Henry the VIII are undeniably strong. For a lot of them, they were ripped out of their lives by a powerful capricious prick and made to marry him before being offed, dumped or otherwise removed from the picture. The true crime is, naturally, that none of them are really remembered for it, even in history classes. Anne Boleyn gets the most characterization and she’s always portrayed as a wanton, devious baby maker. However, the best thing about SIX is how each of the characters main songs reflect a different style of music and musician from recent pop music and it fits their stories marvelously. Anne Boleyn song “Don’t lose your head” reminds me so much of Lily Allen in a Ditzy-cute-but-actually-talking-about-serious-shit way that it made me re-appreciate those songs, whilst Catherine Howards “All you wanna do” is so reminscent of seedy sex-jams by the pussy cat dolls that when the reality of her situation hits you it feels like a gut punch. The Weakest song with my listen through, Catherine of Aragons “No Way”, only loses out because it reminds me so much of “Work” from Hamilton, but it has a cracking Brass section in the chorus. My favorite song, “Get Down” by Anne of Cleaves, has this wonderful sense of swagger and bravado that gives me flashes of Beyonce at her most dominating, which considering that it came after the horrible history-esque “Haus of Holburn”, makes it seem even more triumphant.
It ends on the great note that Catherine Parr makes that, yes, Historians and history teachers tend to be quite reductive in our teaching of these figures and it does them a dis-service to not look at them as complete human beings. We need to remember that history, as well as many other things in life, is fundamentally about people and people are complex beings, shaped by environment and influences. Considering that this musical came out only a year ago, and our tory government and the pandemic has hit the arts industry in the UK the hardest, I shouldn’t have to say support them, as well as the artists
So yeah, If you guys can, give the songs a listen. Would Recommend.
superhero-gerbil reblogged
Read this again.
Read this to others.
Force the idiots, read it to them
superhero-gerbil reblogged
i really appreciate ancient minoan art because those motherfuckers just loved to paint octopodes. i really think we should all follow their example and be more willing to just fuck around and draw a cephalopod
ancient minoan: hmm i wonder what i should paint today
ancient minoan: just kidding, cephalopod time
a Cephalopot
Ok, this has been a long time since I posted on this hellsite, but I’m hot, irritated and been watching a little too much Stephen Colbert. I fucking love “Crossing the Swamp” by John Mcnaughton. I really do, for a couple of very important reasons, none of them being the intention of the artist. My memory of the far off time of 2016 is vague, but I remember Trump saying that he was going to “Drain the swamp” of corruption in Washington. Firstly, lets look at what it’s trying to replicate, the famous “Crossing the Delaware” painting by Emanuel Leutze (picture 2). Purely from a compositional standpoint, Leutze has created imagery of hope and struggling together, with Washington leading from the front, sword at his side, navigating the frigid river with precision and care. Mcnaughton, by contrast seems to have tapped into the “lost in the everglades at nighttime” vibe that, to me, indicates poor planning, incompetence and paranoia. The crew of the boat look less like they are going to fight an enemy, and more like they are wondering who to got them into this mess. Secondly, let’s look at the people involved in the picture. List of figures from left to right: Nikki Haley, (appointed ambassador to the UN, resigned in October 2018 due to corruption investigation) James Mattis, (appointed defense secretary, resigned/ “fired” in 2019 due to the Syria withdrawal) Ben Carson, (still in office, but seems to be forgotten and ignored, particularly now that he’s on the Covid-19 taskforce) President Trump, (still in) Jeff Sessions, (appointed attorney general, resigned after the mid-terms in 2018 “at presidential request” (according to wikipedia)) Mike Pence, (Still in) Melania Trump, (Still in) Mike Pompeo, (Still in, director of the CIA after Rex Tillerson) Sarah Sanders, (appointed Press secretary, resigned 30 june 2019) Ivanka Trump, (Still in) John Bolton, (Appointed national security advisor, out in september 2019, wrote his tell all book) Kellyanne Conway, (still in, somehow) John Kelly, (appointed secretary of homeland security, resigned in december 2018) Most of the people who have resigned have less than great things to say about Mr trump, painting him in the same light as a two-faced diva, who praises with one breath and damns with the next. Not conclusive proof, but patterns do emerge. Even if you dis-regard the things those who have left have said, the fact that so many people have resigned/ been forced to resign does not paint the stability of this presidency in the greatest of light. Finally, I want to finish with this point. I’m not an art historian (if anyone else wants to comment on this, please do so, I welcome your input) but I’ve taught GCSE history long enough to know that these kinds of paintings get really needled by historians, usually to demonstrate the egoism or folly of a regime. In 30 years time, I don’t doubt that I will be marking papers from students looking at this painting and doing a similar dissection in it for a 4 mark question. Looking at this painting, I feel like I am looking at a part of history. not in the noble, great pursuits, type of history or the horrible wicked deeds kind of history, but in the bumbling naivety side that makes us look back and go “Oh, that didn’t work out well at all.”