tbh the only evidence i need that harry’s a gryffindor is the fact that he kept going back to the forbidden forest after voldemort tried to kill him, aragog tried to eat him, lupin turned into a wolf and attacked him, the dementors tried to kiss him, barty crouch was murdered and turned into a bone, umbridge was kidnapped by centaurs,, boy had to die in that forest before he stopped going back

we have no evidence he stopped

Harry James Potter, deep in the forbidden forrest, fully aware of the centaur archers watch on him, followed by a string of spiders, the ghosts of death eaters killed in the battle of hogwarts circling his head as they wail for his blood: lovely day for a picnic

The last five months of 2018 are going to be filled with financial independence, true love, healing, and answered prayers 

good things about the prequels

The only Glow Up that matters

You’re teleported to 44 BCE Rome in your everyday street clothes. You’re brought before Caesar and he believes you might be from the future, hoping to bring him fortune. One day he questions you, asking “How Do I Die?”

“Surrounded by friends”

Ceasers as he’s getting stabbed and remembers:

From the Wikipedia page about the Fermi Paradox: Given the high scientific probability for alien existence, why can we find no evidence of their existence whatsoever?

A poem about loneliness

It baffles and infuriates me that Hogwarts students don’t take Latin or Greek. Accio? Literally “I summon.” Lumos? Fucking “light.” Expelliarmus? Expel weapon!! Ooooh I wonder what Levicorpus does– you Dumb Ass Bastard. You ILLITERATE. It’s called Levicorpus, it lifts someone’s body, it LEVIES your goddamn CORPUS-

Hermione ghost wrote this

People want to complain that Horace Slughorn wasn’t a well written Slytherin, but trashing your house, faking your death and transfiguring yourself into an armchair to avoid an uncomfortable conversation is about as Slytherin as it gets.

Emoji spell for extreme good luck for the next two months

🍀🌰🌒🌓🌔🌕🌠⭐⚡☀⚡⭐🌠🌕🌔🌓🌒🌰⭐🌱🌿🍀🎆🌋🎇🌠🔮🔔💰💰💰💰💸💸💸💸💳💳💳💳💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💰💰💰🍀🌿🍀🌿🍀🌿🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🌋🌊🌈🎆🎇🎉🎊🔓🔆🔓💰💸💳🔅📈🏁🍚⬆⬇↕🔄✳✴🌊🌈🌒🌓🌔🌕🌠⭐⚡🌋🎆🎇🎆🎉🎊🎍💸💸💸✴✳✳✳✳↕↕↕↕🎆🎇🌋✴✳🐇🐸🍀🌰🌱🌼🍀🍀🍀🌻🌺🍀🍀🌿🍀🌰🌱🌿🍀

Likes charge. Reblogs CAST

power move: breaking the fourth wall in real life

want to get out of a conversation? this isn’t plot-relevant, I’m out

trying to encourage someone? you’ve got to push the narrative arc, my dude.

someone questioning your divine presence? plot hole, probably.

I always thought “you’ll have to speak with my legal counsel” was good for dodging mundane but awkward questions (why were you late?) but this is clearly superior.

ooh, in that vein, I’m fond of ‘that’s classified.’

being vulnerable at 3 am is like whatever but being vulnerable at 3 pm is a power move

i am so gentle and kind hearted

and stupid

mermaid locations

i will never be over vernon dursley telling people at his wedding that james potter was some kind of amateur magician, implying that he wasn’t even that good

100% believe that if petunia hadn’t cut lily out of her life, james would have just rolled with it and learned muggle magic tricks and performed them at various family functions, like

try to wear the full magician costume to dudleys christening 

“you can’t wear that james”  “it’s the only way i’m going, lil”  “fine but give me your wand”  “my real one, or the fake one that shoots out flowers?”  “both, and you’d better tidy the handkerchiefs are trailing out of your trouser leg before we leave”

“I’m not a magician, marge, i’m an illusionist.”

petunia walks in on james pretending to saw toddler dudley in half for toddle harry’s amusement

actually incorporating magic into the tricks and freaking the hell out of vernon’s extended family

standing up at christmas and saying that he’d like to perform a magic trick. and vernon and petunia are HORRIFIED and lily just pours more wine but marge says ‘let him do it’ so she can mock him?? and he tries/fails to ‘vanish’ the napkins 3-4 times and it doesn’t work, until the fourth time when it DOES and it freaks the hell out of vernon’s extended family

and that is probably when petunia cuts lily out of her life for Real

guys this is a very important post and i’ve been thinking about it all morning 

Edgar Allen Bitch

where do I see myself in five years? hopefully replying to multi-paragraph work emails with: cool! thanks.-Sent From My iPhone