LIVING THE DREAM
add up the things you’ve done and the total with be your title.
1. had sex: $10.00 2. smoked: $3.00 3. got drunk: $7.00 4. went skinny dipping: $5.00 5. kissed someone of the opposite sex: $5.00 6. kissed someone of the same sex: $5.00 7. cheated on a test: $2.00 8. fell asleep in class $0.50 9. been expelled: $5.00 10. been in a fist fight: $10.00 11. given oral: $10.00 12. got oral: $10.00 13. prank called the cops: $3.00 14. stole something: $2.00 15. done drugs: $5.00 16. dyed your hair: $0.50 17. done something with someone older (like a few years): $3.00 18. went out with someone over 18 (if your under 18): $4.00 19. ate a whole thing of oreos: $0.50 20. cried yourself to sleep: $1.00 21. said you love someone but didnt mean it: $1.00 22. been in love: $4.00 23. got caught doing something that you shouldn’t have been doing: $1.00 24. went streaking: $4.00 25. got arrested: $5.00 26. made out with someone: $2.00 27. peed in the pool: $0.50 28. played spin the bottle: $1.00 29. done something you regret: $3.00
Only Americans will understand:
CALL J.G. WENTWORTH
877-CASHNOW!
I HAVE A STRUCTURED SETTLEMENT AND I NEED CASH NOW!!
What is this
CALL J.G. WENTWORTH
877-CASHNOW!
(877 cash now)
IT’S MY MONEY AND I WANT IT NOW
THEY HELPED THOUSANDS THEY’LL HELP YOU TOO
ONE LUMP SUM OF CASH THEY WILL PAY TO YOU
IF YOU GET LONG-TERM PAYMENTS AND YOU NEED CASH NOW
CALL J.D WENTWORTH 877-CASH NOW
*deep voice* 877- CASH NOWWWW
CALL NOW
*high voice* 877-CASH NOWWWWW
💰It’s your money use it when you need it 💰
*Small instrumental*
CALL J
G
WENTWORTH
8
7
7
CASH
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
*chorus* CALL NOW!
HuniePop is 69% off and HunieCam is 34% off in the Steam Summer Sale! Internet sex jokes my fellow kids!
HuniePop: http://store.steampowered.com/app/339800/ HunieCam Studio: http://store.steampowered.com/app/426000/
List of Non-sexual forms of intimacy
- watchingtv/movies together
- going to events together like carnivals, festivals etc.
- going on dates like to the movies or shopping
- sharing secrets
- hugs
- sharing drinks
- phone calls
- talking
- touching noses
- cuddling
- philosophical discussions
- hand holding
- sharing jokes
- sharing smiles
- laying your head on someone’s shoulder
- linking arms
- massages
- tickling
- playing with hair
- scratching backs
- tracing designs on arms
- talking about the future
- a hand written note
- moving your head to their chest and listening to their heartbeat.
- singing together or playing instruments together
- dancing
- feeding each other
- drawing/writing on one another
- brushing your partners hair
- sharing food
- sitting knee to knee across from each other
- doing beauty treatments like facials or manicures, hairdying or face masks
- reading books together
- take care of your partner when sick
- talking about the relationship (how I feel with you, How I feel w/this relationship)
- cooking together
- head-scratches
- hugging
- discussions about yourselves (like flaws, shortcomings, passions, stuff)
- being physically/emotionally vulnerable
- just sleeping together,
- an actual open honest conversation
- bathing and taking care of hygiene together
- butterfly kisses
- nuzzling
- telling on-the-fly stories
- meditating or sharing spirituality
- grooming
- sharing hobbies
- studding
- sharing personal stories
- shaving
- seeing each other without make-up or all dressed up
- moral support for major events
- crying, sharing emotions, comforting each other
- listening to someones heartbeat or breathing
- camping/hiking
- sleepovers
- being with animals together
- going on trips together
- sharing clothes/jewelry/personal items
- sharing online social media
- cleaning someone else’s living space
- going with them to a doctor/therapist
- doing art together
- kissing different body parts
- making out
- volunteer together
- work together
- talking about wants and desires
- experience new things together
- do an extracurricular together
- play games together
- play sports together
- walking together
- being respectful and kind to one another (helping them do things, open doors for them etc.)
- sharing responsibilities (chores, babysitting etc.)
- giving each other presents, special things from the heart
- talking about and respecting each others boundaries
- public displays of affection
- grooming in front of each other
- wrestling or play fighting
- texting/talking online
- looking in each other’s eyes
- complimenting each other
- falling asleep over skype or chat
- making faces at each other
- sky watching
- write poetry
- inside jokes
- respect each other
- tell them how you feel about them
- get to know each other better (playing 20 questions)
- go for a ride together
- close your eyes and memorise each others faces with your fingers
- walk arm in arm
- make a playlist together
- make up your own words or slang
- go out to eat
- list each other’s best features
- bring your faces close without touching and feel each other breath
- go shopping together
- throw a party or other event together
- leave love notes
- exercise together
- exchange something meaningful
- try to have a whole conversation with only eye contact and facial expressions
- sit back to back and feel each other’s heartbeat
- learn their favorite food and make it
- run errands together
- look at photos together
- take photos together
- go people watch
- have a staring contest
- learn something new together
- take turns leading each other on a nature walk blindfolded
- get to know each others family and friends
- draw or sculpt each other
- paint each other’s bodies
- play with kids together
- practicing a skill together
- sharing food
- being in comfortable clothes together
- waving goodbye
- being comfortable with each other’s bodily functions
- any others you can think of?
For aces everywhere!
For anyone everywhere
TAKE NOTE
You can stick 17 refrigerators in your pocket,
But god forbid you put a fish in a letter.
Aromantic girls aren’t “playing hard to get” when they reject you. They’re rejecting you because they don’t want to be involved romantically with you. You having feelings for them doesn’t mean they owe you anything. And they don’t owe you a “reason” either.
Perhaps be a decent human being and respect their wishes.
I fucking love E3. Every year Microsoft gets wrecked by Sony and Nintendo just does its own thing.
you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink
Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.
My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
I’m rather fond of “It’s not rocket surgery” and “not the sharpest egg in the attic,” but my all-time favourite is, “…until the cows freeze over.”
Had to do this after seeing the new JonTron
this is the sassiest reply in the history of mankind
“You can’t just slam the SNK opening on everything.”
I don’t even like that show and I think this is a work of art.
↖ this blogger is proud rivetra trash.
*suddenly cant move in the middle of a heated battle in a game* “WHY CANT I MOVE” *looks down*
Me, after discussing my paladin’s epic level Monkey Grip abilities with my DM. (via yourplayersaidwhat)
Super Mario Galaxy 2 Soundtrack - Shiverburn Galaxy