what do I type here?

Me as the sole survivor of the apocalypse, commenting "last" on every YouTube video.

that part of the first pokemon movie when mew is in a bubble underwater. we will never understand that level of peace

*To the tune of “We Built this City*: I PET THIS KITTY

I PET THIS KITTY AND BOOP ITS NOSE

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

“is he very verbal?”

“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”

“was it hard to potty-train him?”

“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”

“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”

“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”

“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”

“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”

“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”

“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”

The Very Good Boy in question, Charleston Chew.

(if you want to read more of my much weirder adventures, I have pre-orders for my book on Patreon right now: https://www.patreon.com/gallusrostromegalus )

They’re here. Your polemans

Space Salami - The first ever salami launched to space, Italy 4 October 2018 [1600x800]

history has been made boys

broke: The Great British Bake Off has no conflict

woke: while The Great British Bake Off is refreshingly devoid of the usual man vs. man conflict, it is filled with conflict of other varieties, notably man vs. self (the contestants vs. their knowledge of baking) and man vs. nature (the contestants vs. the time limit)

Man vs. the forces of evil (the contestants vs. Paul Hollywood)

@hydrothrax

That’s mean!!

the cycle of aggression

This bizarre bubble creature is a single living cell

By Bec Crew | April 23, 2019

Read more: Australian Geographic

photograph by Haplochromis/Wikimedia  CC

Accidentally opening the front facing camera