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I PUNCHED GOD ONCE

@dxntcallmelittle / dxntcallmelittle.tumblr.com

HE CALLED ME SHORT SO I CALLED HIM AN AMBULANCE
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She sighs lightly. She knew that Ed cared for Roy and her. He made it care for her to see sometimes. After all she was good at reading people.
“Edward, it’s alright to care about those who have helped you.” 
She says softly as she sits down.
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‘It - it’s not that I don’t care.’ He probably shouldn’t be talking about his superior officer this way, but... he sighs and perches on a desk adjacent to hers. He’d sit on hers, if he wasn’t sure she’d kill him for it. ‘I just don’t think I can trust him.’

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“Have you already forgotten about what happened with Scar?” She asked. “He went to fight him while it was raining.” 
She know s that Ed doesn’t get along with Roy all the time. Though she knew deep down he cared about him.
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For a moment, Edward doesn’t have a response. The Scar situation had been a nightmare, and he’d been more worried about Mustang than he wanted to admit. ‘One time doesn’t make up for everything else.’ He barely has a leg to stand on, and they both know it.

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Anonymous asked:

When the skeleton leaves your body it will take your skeleton with it, metal parts and all.

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‘I’ve always wanted to leave this world the same way I entered it — an eldritch horror.’

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“And maybe you could try being a bit nicer yourself? Maybe saying thank you once in a while. The colonel gets reckless with his actions when it’s to do with protecting you and your brother.”
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Edward wants to argue the point, but doesn’t. After all, Hawkeye knows Mustang better than he does. ‘He doesn’t seem reckless.’ Ed grumbles. ‘He just sits there and tells me how I’m doing everything wrong.’

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Anonymous asked:

It's true! And if you think that's bad just wait until that skeleton finally comes out, that's gonna hurt.

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‘But, for now, I have two skeletons in my body! I’m the MOST POWERFUL PERSON IN THE WORLD!

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Anonymous asked:

Tiny fool, anons have no calcium to consume!

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‘N-no, that can’t be!’

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Anonymous asked:

You fool, the skeleton will suck out all your calcium and make you even shorter!

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‘That makes it easier for me to invade your body and consume your calcium!’Edward’s vore fetish knows no bounds.

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Sebastian tensed at the question. Engel sent a worried glance in his direction, if armor could somehow look worried. He felt just as startled as his friend did, but the combination of being trapped in an inexpressive suit of armor and years of experience made it quite easy to hide how he was currently feeling. The boy was familiar. He had seen him around the military headquarters before, and Sebastian had mentioned him after he became a certified alchemist - they had become alchemists at roughly the same time. If he remembered correctly, his name was Edward Elric. He had been walking around with someone in a suit of armor the last few times he had seen him - his brother, Alphonse, right? People walking around in suits of armor were rare, especially in the military headquarters. It would make sense for Edward to mistake Engel for his brother. 
But being this close to him brought attention to something that had been easy to miss from a distance and he was shocked that he had never noticed it before. His features were striking Xerxian, with the golden eyes and golden hair that had been so characteristic of its people back when Xerxes was still around. What was even more surprising was his uncanny resemblance to a certain Xerxes man he had known quite well. Which was just as impossible as him carrying the blood of Xerxes, as that man should have died hundreds of years ago with the rest of his kingdom.
“Hi,” Engel finally said, still flustered but not wanting to draw attention to his hesitation. “I’m doing good.”
Sebastian awkwardly slipped off inside the room he had been about to enter with a half-wave and a smile in his friend’s direction. Though Engel desperately wished he wasn’t leaving him alone, he understood the logic behind it. He had a meeting, and the question had been directed towards Engel.
“How are you?” he asked. 

'I’m good, thanks.’ Edward replied, suddenly aware of how awkward the situation was. What am I doing? This is so stupid. ‘Sorry, I, uh — mistook you for my brother, for a second. You might’a seen him around, he’s in a suit of armour too.’ Standing up close to the suit of armour was even worse. The tinny sound of the voice was so similar to Al’s — surely someone else wasn’t as stupid as he had been? But, then again, if they had been, it would be good to have an ally. Someone to help them in their search. Edward looked over to where the alchemist had been, but he was gone. Edward was both disappointed and relieved; at least he didn’t have to pretend that he knew his name.  Edward suddenly realised he’d been left alone in the corridor with the suit of armour. Maybe he could try finding out some information? ‘I’m, uh, good.’ Edward replied. ‘Just — wandering, I guess. Al — my brother — wanted some time alone, so I’m here. Are you, uh, part of the military too? Also — sorry, but, I don’t know your name.’

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Anonymous asked:

Nah, you can keep all this milk and I'll take everything else.

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Edward hisses and curls protectively over his anime body pillows.

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