Spoiler Free

Well, all caught up on Breaking Bad now. Basically, the last episode was, "Holy shit holy shit hoLY SHIT OHLY SHIT oh shit holy shit SHIT SHIT SHIT SHit holy shit!"

"Graduation day. I'm over this elitist gym attitude. I'm over the sense of superiority. I'm over people spouting off all of these unspoken gym rules (no curls in the squat rack, exercise this way, no elliptical, etc.). Grow the fuck up. Oh, and I'm over seeing reposts from gym fails. Guess what? I have more respect for the poor bastard who's doing the exercise wrong in the video than the douchebag who sitting on his ass (probably hogging a bench) recording it when he should be working out. I used to be that snob and got a kick out of that stuff, but that was because the new-found lifestyle, athletic abilities and physique was something that I wasn't mature enough to handle yet. But nay, not anymore. It's a new day and a new attitude. And this attitude says that I'm just glad people are being active. So, if you want to do your sets with makeup on (ladies), do you. If you want to spend an hour on the elliptical, do you. If you want to curl in the squat rack, do you. If you want to roll around the floor like you're having a seizure and call it abs, do you. If you consider Zumba a workout, do you. If you don't work legs, do you. If you do Crossfit, do you. If you do traditional bodybuilding, do you. If you're a powerlifter, do you. If you're a yogi, do you. If you're fat, do you. If you're thin, do you. I don't care what your thing is. Just. DO. YOU." My friend Andrea. I'm so proud of her. :)

The Story of Richard

I don't normally share stories about work. But this is the story of Richard. I first picked him up on the shuttle about a month ago, and dropped him off at the airport for his flight back home this morning.  Richard is a talkative man, who likes to smile and laugh and answer questions. He'll answer any inquiry you put to him with energy and enthusiasm. He has decided to move to the Northwest from Maine, so he came to Portland to find an apartment, but ended up finding a better one in Vancouver. He has a nice car, but hasn't driven much since he retired from Internal Investigations with the IRS about 4-5 years ago. Richard may be the most delightful, light-hearted, and honestly nice human being I've ever encountered.  He is also heavy set, with a protruding belly, and wears suspenders. He has a big pair of glasses resting on his nose. Richard's probably in his sixties, and is not married. He has a squinting eye, a slight, awkward hobble when he walks, and a noticeably slurred speech impediment that makes him sound as if he has a mental disorder. His white hair is thinning on top. He probably sweats more than you do. He never mentioned any family. Richard looks like the type of person you don't want to be sitting next to on an airplane.  Richard also has no idea of the impact he has had on my life. When I first picked Richard up from the airport a few weeks ago, I spent a brief seven minute shuttle ride with him to the hotel. Afterwards, I broke down crying. I couldn't figure out why. All I knew was that I had just spent a few minutes with the most remarkable, genuine example of humanity I've ever met. After dropping him off and getting to spend another seven minute shuttle ride with him this morning, I realized why. I realized what Richard had taught me. It's something I've known for years, but never truly internalized until meeting him: We all have something or someone we love, we all have something we fear, and we will all one day die. These truths remains real, no matter your race, sex, gender, or if you're a weird looking "I don't want to sit next to him" kinda guy named Richard. We're all made from the same stuff. We are all human. Our gifts come from nurturing what's within us, and our physical appearance is just that-- an appearance.  Like I said, these were lessons I had previously known, but never really internalized before, and it took an odd-dressing, squinty-eyed, slurred-speeched, pudgy-bellied, beautiful person named Richard to teach them to me.  So people, go live your lives like Richard, because he's truly something to aspire to.

"When you have the urge to call someone, ask about their day, tell them about yours, knowing that the very sound of their voice will give you that sense of home. Then, you have to remember that they're dead."

  Yep. My friend Andrea may be blunt sometimes, but she really hit the nail on the head. 

I don't know what to think.  On one hand, I want to believe that I can do anything I want to, achieve whatever I put my mind to. On the other, I just want to accept that who I am is who I am, and everything that I will be is already laid out, and all I need to do is accept it. Are we always seeking more? At what point do we stop looking?

  Is there a way to accept yourself while also seeking improvement? 

I think I'd like to do yoga in a forest. Or stream bed. Or on top of a waterfall...on the trunk of a fallen tree...on the beach...