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pensum

@martinferdinand / martinferdinand.tumblr.com

récits d'un chasseur d'épiphanies
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Infinie profondeur de la nature humaine

Mon regard ne perçois de toi qu’un bleu pâlit 

Mais j’apprécie parfois tes craquelures soudaines

Qui en apprennent tant à mes yeux éblouis

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Recent search history : How not to hurt someone's feelings when they are about as transparent as a brick wall

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Cogitations

I am and have always been tremendously self-indulgent And at this point I'm wondering whether it's because I love myself too much or because I don't love myself enough. French has this beautiful expression , an attitude that I wish I had adopted long ago : "se faire violence" It literally translates to "make oneself violence", and if you define violence as the removal of choice, it is exactly what I need. More precisely, it is an attitude of resignation to do the right thing, regardless of difficulties and temptations. A friend of mine recently pointed out to me that I don't make choices. Whenever one appears in my way, I always choose the same route : the easiest. And that is not choice, it is pure, unadulterated indulgence. I need, more than anything, to learn to make myself violence. I will soon reach yet another threshold, a chapter that will, in all likelihood, define my future significantly. It's time to tread upon the path less traveled.

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Stop, drop, roll

I’m burning up

And I know the steps

But god knows I’m not taking a single one

I’m just standing there,

Pacing back and forth within the bounds of my crowded skull

There must be an easy way out

A big, bright, glowing neon sign pointing to an escape, a way through if not out

But I’ve gone blind

And i know salvation isn’t going to come and take my hand

Not now, not ever

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Stand strong

A sudden wave takes over,

no warning no sirens no call for order

No stalls for voters

No choice but to stand tall, stay, brace your body and your soul for impact

Cause there’s no reason for it baby

It’s just the world throwing a fit, a temper tantrum of circumstances and rage

Nothing you can do now dear

The cause is in the past, the consequences far away still, but it’s only one page

A chapter you will live through, and forget when the time comes

So stand strong for now

Let the unfairness of the universe wash over you like the ocean you miss so much

Hold your nose and dive in, your mind calm as you wish the sea was

retreat into yourself until the storm passes

Stand strong and

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