I’m so tired of this cycle. I care so fucking deeply for this person and after a year of on and off, back and forth, I’m still not seen. I feel like I’ll never be seen. The effort, the emotional tool I put in, only to still be treated like a last resort. It’s so fucking tiring. It’s so fucking heartbreaking.
Like what do I have to do for someone to see me and know me and say “that’s it for me. That’s what I want. That’s what I need.” How can I see something in myself that no one else can? That no one else takes seriously?
I feel like I’ll never be understood in love. Never be truly needed. And I can’t fix that.
I can’t remember when I wrote this. But I’m back in the same boat with the same person. We’re almost three years in, back and forth, lived together, and now I’m back home cause shit is just not right. I don’t know what to do. We were gonna get married. Now I feel fucking lost.
