5 year anniversary of the miette post \o/

[ID: Know Your Meme (@knowyourmeme) tweeted: “On this day five years ago, Patricia Lockwood (@TriciaLockwood) posted the following tweet about her cat Miette. Patricia Lockwood (@TriciaLockwood)”, quoting the tweet from said person reading: “me, lightly touching miette with the side of my foot: miette move out of the way please so I don't trip on you. miette, her eyes enormous: you KICK miette? you kick her body like the football? oh! oh! jail for mother! jail for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!”. The original tweet was posted at 4:24 PM on March 19th, 2019, while the quote tweet was posted at 14:23 (2:23 PM) on 19th of March 2024. End: ID]

They say you die three times, first when the body dies, second, when your body enters the grave, and third, when your name is spoken for the last time. You were a normal person in life, but hundreds of years later, you still haven’t had your “third” death. You decide to find out why.

You sold some shitty copper, man, I don’t know what to tell you

on love arriving unannounced

a californian but there’s something just a bit wrong and spooky about her. call that an uncanny valley girl

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

not again

Yeah quiet quitting is great and all but have you tried chaotic working?

Like. I remember back in my grocery store cashier days I did so much crazy shit.

When WIC (Women, infants, and children voucher program to help low income mothers/families with children) people were in my line I would pretty much know who they were. Before the cards they had to tell us upfront they were WIC and show us their vouchers for what they were allowed to get (it was awful some times. Like. 2 gallons of milk. $4 worth of vegetables etc etc). They’d always have items hanging back, waiting to see what the total was and if they would have to take it off the belt.

I began to place the fruits/vegetables a certain way on the register scale so that like 1/2lbs of grapes read as like .28lbs or something. Then act shocked when I said that they still had X amount of lbs left. They got all their fruit and vegetables.

I think it started to kinda? Catch on to the women? Because I would have the same moms in my line month after month. And even after they switched to the cards (they worked like food stamp cards?) I’d still do the same thing. They were able to get more produce for whatever shitty max amount Indiana gave them.

Anyways. Be chaotic. It’s more fun that way.

Callsigns are ALL like this. I know in movies everyone's got cool callsigns, but you have to EARN a cool callsign. Most people's are like, commemoration of something real stupid they did, or, like, "Carrots" bc "he ate carrots weirdly." This database is a treasure trove:

Also unironically if you are nb and have an "object" name you can 100% get old republicans to use it by just claiming it's for something dumb. "Yeah man I go by Brick because I dropped a bunch of bricks once and messed up a timeline on a job" will get everyone you will ever meet to call you that.

also I love that Grover gets separated from the kids and immediately starts playing mind games with a god. he's like finally I don't have to be a good role model for a second. let's talk brutality.

also like 10-15 years from now I hope someone makes one of those inspirational sports movies except it’s a 50 year old woman who wants to play competitive online games and everyone tells her she can’t because she’s too old, her reflexes are too slow, etc, and she gets this grizzled trainer except they’re a 19 year old kid who had a promising career until carpal tunnel syndrome ruined their chances of becoming the world champion so they train her and she fuckin wins, the end. movie of the year.

The Grandma(ster)

and her game handle (is that what it’s called?) can be grandma.ster or some variant

I’m sorry. Why are we calling a 50 yr old a grandma? That’s literally just a regular lady with a fun hobby 😂

She had kids young

My mum was a grandma at 50? That’s not even young to be a grandma? I mean, it’s on the younger end of grandmas, but it’s absolutely not unusual. Perfectly normal grandma age.

Grandmas, believe it or not, are regular ladies with fun hobbies.

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).

When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".

When the boat is still being built, your say "it".

When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".

When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".

When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.

If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").

If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")

If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").

If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.

If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.

I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.