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California Dreamin'

@glutenfreepenis / glutenfreepenis.tumblr.com

"It's an odd thing, but anyone who disappears is said to be seen in San Francisco." - Oscar Wilde. Paris. Twenty four. Welcome to my garbage blog.
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mactiir
Getting up at 6 am IRL: aw fuck it’s so early oh my god
Getting up at 6 am in an rpg: *banging pots and pans together in front of the cobbler’s shop* WAKEY WAKEY THE SUN IS UP I WANT SOME SHOOOOOOOES

customers the same in all universes

this is it. this is the best response i’ve ever received on this post. everyone pack up, go home, we’re done here

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May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

10 of Pentz came thruuu

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violaslayvis

Omg this actually works!!! Thank you 10 of Pentacles!!!

I could seriously use this money right now….

Please give me my refund of 400$ soon…

I feel obligated to reblog this every time it shows up in my dash

No bragging, just 100% floored and grateful. Work hard, maintain a positive attitude, and believe that anything can happen.

So I reblogged this exactly a week ago because I thought it was funny and uh lo and behold, a family friend wrote me a big ol’ check just to help me out of a tough financial spot AND my bank refunded me $32 for fees they’d originally taken out. SO UH YEAH. Reblogging this again in hopes that it brings equally good fortune to my followers.

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penprp

Sure why not? Jobs bring in money and prosperity…

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leradny

I NEED TO FIX MY CAR DOOR

It fucking WORKED.

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kezia-kawaii

give me money

i can’t afford to breathe

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mercury-kid

i need to fix my whole life please

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My disdain for cops is institutional, not individual. Just because you may have a positive personal relationship with someone who is a cop doesn’t change the fact that the law enforcement system in this country is rooted in white supremacy and is used to repress and control the working class while protecting the elite.

All cops have signed up to enforce a system which is oppressing marginalized people in this country on a daily basis. Your personal relationship with an agent of oppression does not change this fact.

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pi4nobl4ck

i am on another plane right now and this video has me convinced that I reached nirvana for a few seconds

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funnyposts

the first time i watched this video i was stoned out of my motherfucking MIND and i watched it on loop for 25 minutes

this is the only fucking post on this entire fucking site

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tredlocity
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golbat

I have been trying to find this video for like…a whole year

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seriousjones

tired of hearing about how saturn is the most fuckable planet just because it has the most rings. jupiter is clearly the most fuckable planet, and trust me, i’ve already heard your “oh the great red spot is an std” jokes, and i don’t care. and btw, the logistics of fucking the rings of a planet don’t make any sense. have fun trying to put your dick through a bunch of jagged rocks and ice, you piece of shit

this is like one of the best posts i’ve seen on tumblr and let me tell you why

  • “tired of hearing about” posts that then go on to delineate something i have literally never heard anyone talking about are hilarious
  • the idea of trying to rank the planets as fuckable is absurd
  • huffy “i don’t care”
  • nitpicking the logistics of something impossible
  • horrible mental image
  • ends very angrily
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y'all will circlejerk yourself to the mysticisms of faeries and elves in european countries for centuries and take it as fact but the second native americans ask you to respect our spirituality and culture suddenly you're all aetheists

non natives can, should, and will reblog this.

same goes for african rooted religions.

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ladykalila

goes without saying, but also Asian and Pacific Islands' indigenous spiritualities and religions.

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i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

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“9/13 this year is the Chinese mid-autumn festival(a.k.a moon festival). Guess who are making mooncakes for us on the moon!” (x-post: /r/aww) https://ift.tt/31nZaBw

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barlowstreet

I have never loved anything like I love that little bunny in the top right corner with the mold.

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