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Rough Stuff

@scouters0

Bekkam, 25, He/Him FTM Been around the block and dealt with a lot of shit in my life, you need help, you let me know, I could be your guy.
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Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbqeuing even though they’re just store bought preshaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!” And she pulls this out and starts telling the kids why its a “fun pizza” and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it and the white dad is then consoling her why she sobs that she’s a terrible mother and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ sons birthday and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care but she continues crying softly into her pillow while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”

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nobody likes the “bad boys” who insult and degrade their partners while wearing pastel polos with popped collars, people like REAL bad boys who wear leather jackets and take a lot of care in how they shape their pompadour and carry around stiletto switchblades and care about their communities and ride a motorcycle and rebel against the government and says stuff like “NOBODY insults my gal” and gets in fistfights with dudes who catcall their girlfriends. THOSE bad boys are the guys everyone wants.

Did you mean

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Yes.

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reblogged

i   h a v e   m a d e   a   m i s t a k e

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chrissihr

“your daily dose of farmer figging”

I was all “yes, it’s back on my dash!” Then it spit out this tag and I’m just

“well-lubed canadian love story”

HOW DOES IT KNOW I AM CANADIAN AND WELL-LUBED?!?!

Strictly Platonic werewolf barebacking….

Sounds about right!

I almost got Mac n cheese shooting out my nose because of this. I think we’re even now 😂😂

@kittykitty-mewmeww I can barely breathe! The funny thing is I’ve been thinking of a werewolf story all day! I feel personally attacked! 😂😂😂😂

@erisjade I’m telling you, this site knows way too much about us. I just did it again and got “passionate internet nipple play.”

HOW DOES IT KNOW

@kittykitty-mewmeww that’s hot! 😂😂😂it’s a veritable Magic 8-Ball. It’s witchcraft!!!!

I can’t stop. “Emotional All-American Facefucking.” Half tempted to page the good Captain…

Omg omg omg!!!! I can’t I can’t I can’t!!!!😂😂😂😂

@erisjade Hahaha ok ok I’ll stop 😜

@kittykitty-mewmeww “pagan blowjobs”….hmm….now that sounds exciting!

Okay. I SWEAR I am not making this up… SEDUCTIVE ALL-AMERICAN ANAL.

First I got “semi public murder strip tease” then “sentimental tentacle rimming.”

What I’m getting out of this is we are all thirsty ho’s.

“Homoerotic assassin aftercare” yep yep yep

Um.

Blood-soaked campfire fisting.

Wow.

“hashtag tentacle fingering”

I AM BEING CALLED OUT

“sexy murder LARPing” 

Um….? :D

Self indulgent russian frottage I am CRYING

“I deserve to rub my junk on this…” Magical vampire angst… I’m pretty sure @abovethesmokestacks has been writing that

It’s in my drafts and almost done!

‘Semi public cannibal fluff’

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musicalninja

Mine’s so tame! Shameless office love story. @emilyevanston @mewsiex i have to see whay you 2 get

‘now with more assassin foot fetish’

Well you know me.  

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scouters0

potentially deadly assassin oral Omg what.

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His Name was Maxwell

His name was Maxwell Anthony Jäger, born February twenty-first in the year 1896, to Heinrich and Hildegard Jäger in the village of Nienhagen, Germany.

His father had served proudly in the peacetime military, taking after his own fathers example as he had fought against the Germanic revolution in the years before him. They were a proud family of soldiers going back as long as the lines could remember so all men born to the Jäger name would serve as was tradition, or be ready to serve as such as Heinrich was prepared to do.

Their village was primarily one of fishing; the old and the youth took to the docks and the shipyard to bring back cod and herring so that their families may eat and those further inland would purchase their goods, thus bringing trade and commerce into the village.

But the time came when the country's young men were being escorted by the droves to join the war effort. Their numbers being called and they were led off to train at the hands of men who'd served years before them.

Maxwell's father towered over him, his words producing spittle with each inflection as he called him a coward and a cur, and every other possible insult he could think of. The vein in his neck bulging with anger and revulsion at his oldest son.

Maxwell was not interested in the petty fights between countries. He had no desire to fight in a war that he didn't start or support. He was but a man who enjoyed working with his hands, carving faces and animals into wood until it was perfection. Dragging fish up in a net and feeling them writhe against his hands. Feeling freshly turned soil beneath his fingernails. That was what he lived for.

So how had he ended up on this battlefield? In this trench? A rifle held firmly in his hands like he knew what he was doing with it, the sound of artillery raining down onto them into the night. Screams filled the air of the men struck, of men frightened.

A shrill whistle as it all stopped and he found himself stepping up onto the wall of his trench, his rifle aimed out into No Man's Land, ready as a flood of men poured out of a trench not that far from them on the other side. Somewhere on his right someone shouted for them to fire.

He aimed at the closest soldier to him, closed his eyes and fired. When he opened his eyes the man was falling and guilt clawed it's way up his throat. The tears pricked behind his eyes but he fired again, this time his shot went wide and didn't hit anyone. Machine gun fire roared to life somewhere nearby and it rattled his chest in the way that a dead mans bones rattle with its last breath.

Then it was over. No more soldiers rushed at them from just beyond. Now only lay bodies left to rot in the tangles of razor wire.

It went on like this for months. Series of attacks followed by counter attacks. Sometimes they would get lucky and they would go a day or few without them. Neither side taking more than inches in ground.

There were close calls for him. Artillery attacks that shattered the wood holding up the trench around him sending wood splinters flying in every direction. His helmet had saved him front countless projectiles. A gas shell had landed next to him as he slept but luckily, his friend Hans had awoken earlier with the need to urinate had slapped his gas mask on him before donning one himself. Hans would later die in the raid that followed, taking a bayonet to the chest.

Yes, Maxwell had been lucky. But even he knew luck could only get you so far.

This night though, nearly three years and three months after he had been sent to the front, had him riddled with anxiety. It was cold and the night was bright with the moonlight. Their heated breaths mixed with the cold air and sent plumes of white smoke into the sky giving away their positions. It was silent except for Wulff's heated huffs into his interlocked hands. His feeble attempt to regain feeling in his fingers.

There was a soft whistle that was coming closer and the words tore from his lips before he realized he was shouting, "Geh runter!"

Wulff's eyes widened and he dove forward, the artillery shell striking only feet behind where he'd been sitting. It didn't explode, instead lying dormant like a fallen apple from a tree.

"Aha!" Wulff laughed like he'd won a great game, he sent a big grin toward Maxwell as a thanks. Neither one of them heard the second shell coming their way.

It struck in the area between them, sending a chunk of Wulff's own rifle through his head as he was sent backward. Maxwell was lifted off the ground and sent through the air, his hands clutching his rifle like his very life depended on it.

When he landed, he realized he must have struck his head as when he came to it was daytime. Things were surprisingly different. He was surrounded by buildings that were taller than anything he'd ever seen before in his life. People of all sizes, shapes, and colors bustled around him, simply ignoring the filthy bloodied man. Slowly he pressed his rifle to his chest, unsure of what to make of his predicament. Perhaps he was dreaming, surely this colorful world was a product of his color deprived mind.

What was it his mother always told him? If you were unsure if you were in a dream, prick your thumb, if you bleed it's real, if not you must wake up. He checked himself for his bayonet and stuck it into his thumb with a hiss. Well it certainly hurt; he instinctively stuck it in his mouth and sucked. He could taste the copper and salt that was blood but he checked to be sure; he was bleeding.

"You shouldn't be here," he jumped. Then he turned to face a strange man in a cape. He hadn't understood the man but he knew he was being spoken to.

"This isn't your time. What did you do?" The man looked irritated, like he'd done something wrong.

"Ich verstehe nicht," Maxwell spoke, unsure of the man before him.

The caped man heaved a deep sigh, "Of course you don't speak English. Maybe Wong speaks, what do you speak? German?"

Maxwell was starting to get noticed by other people, they had strange black boxes pointed at him and soft flashes of light came out of some of them. He twitched and felt uncomfortable with the attention he was getting. The man in front of him seemed to have enough too as he moved his hands in a circle and suddenly the two of them were seated in a room and surrounded by hundreds of leatherbound books.

Maxwell's eyes widened in amazement; he'd never seen so many books in one place. His village didn't have a library, but he'd heard of them before. Was that where he was now? But how had they gotten there? Who was this man? Was this witchcraft? The real questions was did he care?

"Darf ich?" Maxwell gestured to the books and the man looked at him for a long moment.

"I don't know what you want," he stood up began to flip through several books, "I'm Doctor Stephen Strange. I'd ask you what your name is but you probably won't understand."

"Stephen Strange," Maxwell repeated and the caped man looked up before nodding a confirmation, he pointed to himself, "Mein nām ist Maxwell Jäger."

Strange closed the book in his hand and suddenly they were in another part of the room, Maxwell shook his head at the dizziment this caused.

"I know that name, why do I know that name?" Strange muttered to himself, his fingers flying through another book. An Asian man entered the room carrying two sandwiches but he stopped when he saw Maxwell.

"Stephen, I didn't know we'd have guests, or I would have gotten a third sandwich," Strange looked up at the man and slammed the book shut.

"Do you speak German?" The man seemed but set down the food on the table and shrugged his shoulders.

"Only a little, why?"

"Our guest here, he doesn't speak English, have you heard the name Maxwell Jäger?" Strange asked, his eyes taking in the haggard appearance of the soldier. He was covered in dirt and dried blood, his eyes still blown wide with the adrenaline that coursed through his blood. His arms still cradled the rifle that he depended on.

"He disappeared on a battlefield in a field of light in 1918, some say it was artillery shells bursting together, others say divine intervention. Most of his comrades called him the luckiest soldier in the trenches, he always found a way to escape death, and they called that his greatest trick. They didn't even find his tags, guess we know, if this is him, what happened to him then," Wong rubbed his hands together and sat in front of the stricken soldier.

"Hallo. Wir werden dich nicht verletzen. Wir wollen dich nur karotten," Wong spoke slowly, trying to remember all the words appropriately.

Maxwell was confused. He gave them a confused look and sat back in the seat cradling the rifle further.

"What'd you say Wong?" Strange asked, looking at the man in annoyance.

"I said hello, we're not gonna hurt you, and we're here to help you."

"Then why does he look like you insulted his mother?" Strange sighed and ran his hands over his face.

"Perhaps I am rustier than I thought," Wong spoke thoughtfully, his eyes turned up pensively.

"Tea?" Strange wave moved his hand in a subtle manner, replacing the rifle with a warm cup of tea. Maxwell hummed with disapproval at losing his weapon but at the first sip of the tea he seemed to relax.

"You stay here and watch him, I need to find something," Strange wandered into the next room while Wong casually began to eat his sandwich. His eyes softened as the soldier eyed him with hunger before staring at his torn, muddy boots. He got up to find something to cut his sandwich in half.

Maxwell found himself alone at last, unsure of what to do, he stood and made his way out of the room only to find his filthy rifle on a table next to some other old items. No one was there to stop him and eventually he found his way completely out of the Sanctum and back onto the streets of New York.

Wandering around the city that never sleeps was foreign and strange to him. The lights, the vehicles, people speaking to themselves and to little black boxes. He quickly learned he could not just cross a street, he had to cross with a group of people when the little man showed up on the box across the way. He had nearly been struck by the roaring metal beasts more than once and had been yelled at a fair deal.

"Sir! I'm gonna ask you to put the rifle down!" He turned to face the man in a black uniform, a handgun aimed at him. His face was red from exertion, he puffed out a heated breath sending a white plume into the air.

"Wäs?" Maxwell tilted his head to the side and his fingers twitched over the trigger of the rifle.

"Put it down!" The man yelled louder as if that would make him understand. Maxwell shook his head vigorously, unsure what the uniformed man wanted but aware that he posed a threat to his being.

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reblogged

I just found out that there are more of these clips of cap in homecoming and I haven’t stopped laughing since 😂

There are not incorrect quotes, they are all real! X-D

I’m sorry, WHAT

Tony Stark was the one who put these on the Internet

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Reblog for a picture of Sebastian Stan in your inbox !!

This is to honor hitting 100 followers and to honor my Sebastian posts being the most liked.

Doing all! Even if you don’t follow me.

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HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE

MAKE A WISH

the first post ever on tumblr

I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE A REMAKE OF SOME SORT HOLY FUCK

WHO THE FUCK KEEPS BRINGING THIS BACK

reblog this because it shows up every blue moon

I FOUND IT ✊

I WAS SO SCARED IT WOULDNT BE THE ORIGINAL

Who first posted this?

I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO END WITH A MEME OR SOME SHIT NO IT’S THE REAL ONE OH MY GOD

Wishing I’ll do well on my finals ✨

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reblogged

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

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I am risking nothing

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I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy

Why’re you being mean to my mum?

goddamn it

Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances

Koop

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twirliest

This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it

1.4 almost ps not risking it

Fuck this post

I am sorry…

I fucks with my moms too heavy to be playing games. REBLOG

Hell no.

Sorry

Y'all really got a porn blog out here doin it.

I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to my Mom lol

ricanass

I second my husband’s emotion! Lol

This is supposed to be a porn blog but NO

Scrolled past but got paranoid

y

I was going to ignore this

GODDAMMIT I HATE THIS POST

porn blogs care about their moms

It’s not worth the risk

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niasusanto

Gaahhh why are you doing this!

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angie73183

Sigh…I hope you know how much I love you Mom 😐

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Dear Ben

'Dear Ben, It's been six long weeks since you've been gone. You took so much of me with you when you' Her pen hesitated on the paper and she sighed softly before continuing. 'left us. Of course there wasn't an us then, was there? You're gone now, but you left a bit of you here with me. Thank you for that. I'll miss those blue eyes that held me steady when I thought I couldn't go on. After everything that happened, I should have seen it coming. But Jared says I shouldn't blame myself. But he doesn't know I see those blue eyes every time I close my eyes.' The pen fell from her fingers and rolled onto the carpeted floor with a muted thud as she pressed her palms to her eyes. The eyes she'd written about flashed in front of her mind, shattering the darkness she longed for in closing her eyes. Hot, wet tears slid down past her palms and rolled down her cheeks. With a sigh she scrubbed them away and stuck the paper into a drawer of the desk she sat at. With shaking knees she stood and carefully made her way to the window, which lay covered in thick foil and bedding. Her ink-stained fingers slid beneath the heavy blanket and uncovered an edge where the foil had been torn away. She cast a glance around the filthy room and used her other hand to push grimy hair out of her eyes. Gritting her teeth so hard, the silent room could hear the pressure forming in her jaw, she peered out into the world surrounding her haven. Desolation. The only word worthy of coming to mind at a glance of her surroundings. The scorched earth, cracked ground. Branch-less, leaf-less, lifeless, and burned trees hardly standing. Logs of charred ash laying in heaps of forgotten piles. All of this surrounding her for miles. With a purr that sounded more like a snarl and more animal than human, she cast her eyes down toward her fluorescent white shoes. Perfectly contrasting with the filthy surroundings of the room. She tore her hand away from the blanket covering the window and tore across the room. She set her eyes on the handle of the door and fear struck her deep to the core. Her white shoed feet backtracked toward the window she had just stood in front of. Her breath came out in pants and her blunted nails clawed aimlessly at her arms. Her head turned violently toward the window and she slid her fingers under the fabric of the blanket before shuddering deeply. She lifted it away from the foiled glass with the back of her hand and peered out through the hole in the foil. Gritting her teeth again, this time hard enough to chip her front tooth, she took in the surroundings from the same window she'd been at before. Miles of flattened earth with a burning orb hovering over the horizon. A lone row-boat sat in the dirt, the name BEN emblazoned upon its hull. With a sharp gasp that caused spittle to fly onto the foil around the hole she looked out at the world from, she tore away all the shiny wrinkled aluminum and tore down the blanket. It was a sign that Ben was still out there; still alive. With a dash and a leap she threw open the door and was floored, stunned by the blinding white light. She threw an arm over her eyes to shade them in their sensitivity as a dull ring hit her ears. Vibrations ran along her spine, sending chills down to her toes. The sound of hurried steps just under the droning of- was that an alarm? Her eyes cast to the side and they widened to the point where one might fear they'd fall out. "Ben…" There he was. His handsome face was hurrying toward her; an angel in shining white armor. His bright blue eyes twinkling as he took her in. She rushed into his arms with a happy laugh and a bright smile on her dirty face. He caught her and placed his hands on the apex of her arms and gave her a reassuring nod before the prick of a needle touched the spot where her hip met her side. A frown of confusion graced her features as she suddenly felt sleepy. She slumped into his arms as he nodded at the orderly behind her. The man in all white, Ben, carefully cradled her and carried her back into the clean white room. It was outfitted with only a barred window and a single twin bed in the center. "Ben," she whispered quietly as she drifted off to sleep. He lay her carefully on the bed and pulled the blankets over her before walking out of the room and closing the door. The placard on the outside read: 'Patient 20073.'

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