the heart knows what it wants

need my dick sucked so bad but i have this stupid ass vagina

That's because this is Silmarillion

one must imagine sisyphus bouncing on it and moaning

SATINE AND OBI-WAN JUST KISS.

oh he had feelings for her...................he had an undercurrent of remorse........she loved him. he LOVED HER. he would have LEFT THE JEDI ORDER IF SHE ASKED......

the people obi-wan loved who he had to leave behind because he believed in the jedi code. the personal sacrifices he made. and THEN. TO HAVE ANAKIN. JUST FUCKING. IGNORE IT ALL, MARRY PADME, GIVE BIRTH TO TWINS, AND THEN BECOMR THE MOST EVIL MOTHERFUCKER

AND THEN AGAIN OBI WAN HAS TO SACRIFICE HIS PERSONHOOD JUST TO SERVE THE JEDI BY SITTING IN EXILE WATCHING OVER LUKE, THE SON OF HIS APPRENTICE!!!!! HIS BROTHER!!! WHO FUCKED OFF WITH ANY RULES!!!!

COME!!!!! ON!!!!!

pro tip: go to your local coffee shop and ask the barista for "the mocha." they'll know what it means.

Y'all, the world is sleeping on what NASA just pulled off with Voyager 1

The probe has been sending gibberish science data back to Earth, and scientists feared it was just the probe finally dying. You know, after working for 50 GODDAMN YEARS and LEAVING THE GODDAMN SOLAR SYSTEM and STILL CHURNING OUT GODDAMN DATA.

So they analyzed the gibberish and realized that in it was a total readout of EVERYTHING ON THE PROBE. Data, the programming, hardware specs and status, everything. They realized that one of the chips was malfunctioning.

So what do you do when your probe is 22 Billion km away and needs a fix? Why, you just REPROGRAM THAT ENTIRE GODDAMN THING. Told it to avoid the bad chip, store the data elsewhere.

Sent the new code on April 18th. Got a response on April 20th - yeah, it's so far away that it took that long just to transmit.

And the probe is working again.

From a programmer's perspective, that may be the most fucking impressive thing I have ever heard.

an article on the subject for the curious:

I hope we’re still telling fables about the Voyager in a thousand years

We have officially reached a viewership level that has never been obtained by another museum before! All of us at the Sacramento History Museum are in disbelief.

We would have never thought that our institution, a small nonprofit museum in Sacramento, California, could reach this many views, but we are incredibly thankful for all of those who take the time to watch our videos and for your support.

In this video, Howard letterpress printed a headline announcing “Sacramento History Museum Reaches One Billion Video Views On YouTube” while using our Washington hand press, which was manufactured in 1852!

between tiktok and youtube slop, kids these days are subjected to possibly one of the worst media diets in the history of mankind. unlike me who was raised on the same 10 commercials for corn syrup products cycling between variety shows, as nature intended

you! the person reading this! please tell me one good thing that happened to you today

hmmm why does my uterus hurt and why do i feel kinda off. weird. surely these are not the warning symptoms of a predictable biological process that occurs on a regular schedule. anyway. im going to wear white pants today.

by talos this cant be happening

LIMON

©2022, Kirsten Rothbart

If you ever tagged me to do one of those tag game thingies and I never did it:

1) Thank you, seriously. Those are fun and being included shows that my followers care enough to want to learn more about me.

2) Very sorry about that, it’s extremely likely that I said to myself “Cool! But I’m busy at the moment, I’ll have to do this later today or tomorrow” before proceeding to just straight-up forget, now it’s too far back in my notifications and/or your blog to find again.