A Licenced Homosexual

* Me after eating ass for over an hour *

Him: OMG yess daddy keep eating this ass me:

Him:

Me:

My ass:

THE DISRESPECT

Jesus fucking christ

AYOOOOOOO

It's even worse with screenshots 😭😭😭

Barbie is ageless and unknowable. She exists beyond our feeble mortal conception of time. She always was, and she will always be.

when i was in middle school nickelodeon on directv broke and it froze on the same frame for five hours. which would not have been so bad, except it was during the episode of spongebob where he goes to live with the jellyfish. specifically the scene where he’s naked and covered in sea urchins and flopping all over the place trying to get them off. and it froze on the frame where spongebob was facedown on the ground, naked. so he was laying there like that in complete silence for five hours. we would change the channel back every so often to see if he’d gotten up, but he was still like that when we went to bed. none of my friends had directv so when i asked them the next day they hadn’t seen it, but my brother and i were pretty convinced that spongebob was dead.

he thicc🍑🥵🔥

“spa-ghetti”

This still gets me everytime

I’m honestly so FUCKING sick of callout culture. Everyone’s taking everything I say out of context so it looks like I think Coolsville sucks!

Game: You need to be about level 20 to defeat this boss!

Me: oh geez I better go do some grinding

Me, two weeks later overleveled by 80, returning to the boss: I’m your god now

Game: You need to be about level 20 to defeat this boss!

My level 2 ass who is about to have a come-to-Jesus meeting: that is just a recommendation right?

Two types of gamers

do u think that angels having sex with humans was seen as like beastiality in angel-world

do you think that when you reach the gates of heaven they’ll show you this post 

bold of you to presume I can die

Pretty sure they actually answer this in the bible and the answer is yes. The whole ‘Lucifer and the lesser angels want have free will’ part has the ‘angels also wanting to be gendered so they can be with humans’ part in it.

god was kinkshaming satan

God got a virgin pregnant without consent, he can mind his business

She did consent tho, like, that’s a whole thing, I’ve been in masses where the main focus was Mary’s Yes. It didn’t happen without warning, an angel was literally like “hey my pal up there is thinking u should birth his humansona” and she was like “that’d be an honor”

I didn’t claw my way out of hell just to be sent back there by reading the word Humansona,