Chill Day, Chill Week

It’s true that you can only truly know a person you actually get to be with him. Sometimes, you think you already know a person deeply and thoroughly, but most of the times, you’re wrong—you only know him on the surface. There’s still something about him that you have no knowledge about, and you can discover that by talking to him not just for a while, but for a long time, listening to every word he says.

We just had our final exams last week, so this week will be just chill—no stress, just a little schoolwork, and making the most out of the time I have left to spend with my classmates. Now, I’ve been chatting with this classmate of mine ever since school started, but seldom do we talk at school because of his frequent absences. Last Monday was the first day of our “chill week,” and I had a good 2-hour-long conversation with RJ, the aforementioned classmate.

Now, the thing with RJ is he’s an English-speaker. Although he can understand and speak in Filipino, he can converse in English more fluently. That fact makes talking to him exciting—I get to practice my conversational English skills while I get to know more about him. That fact also makes our classmates talk less to him because, quoting what he said, “Maybe they’re afraid of talking to me because I’m the only English-speaker in the room.”

So today, I spoke with him about books, education, the people around us, and snippets from our own life stories—things that our classmates are not most likely to talk about during a “chill day.” (Segue: Yesterday, our classmates just played and fooled around like little kids because they’ll be missing each other so much when we go to college.) And talking to him broadened my perspective on so many things. It also made me realize one sad thing: a person may know you so well, but there’s still always a part of you he won’t get a grasp of.

But the good thing is: someone can totally understand that part of you! If you feel like no one understands you no matter how hard you try to express yourself, know that someone does understand you. You don’t really have to change yourself just so people can accept you or so you can “fit in” with them. Note: you can be yourself and be understood at the same time! You just have to know which people can appreciate you for who you are, and then start building good relationships with them. Those people can be people you’re not close with or people you don’t normally talk to.

Setting aside everything I just said, always summon this into mind: There’s this One who consistently understands you even if no one else can—He is God our Father. If you don’t speak with Him so often, try doing it more. No one knows you so well than He does—He even knows the number of the hairs on your head (Luke 12:7)!

Until We Meet Again

I remember telling my friends about how much my grandfather means to me, and how great and nice he is, and how he loves us so much, and how I love him so much. I remember telling them that I fear the day that will inevitably come when he finally breathes his final breath.

Now, it breaks my heart to say that that day I was talking about has just been ten days ago.

Yes, it’s been ten days since my grandfather’s passing. The past week has been the saddest week I’ve ever encountered in my entire life. And for the first time in my life, I felt so empty—I felt nothing. When my mom woke me up on that day, February 27, 2015, and told me that my lolo’s already gone, I was like, “Is this just a joke? Are we on Just for Laughs Gags?” And then I cried and prayed to God. Since it was still dawn, I tried to sleep. But I couldn’t sleep. So I just cried and cried until I felt sleepiness.

My lolo’s already gone just like that. It’s so sad, I can’t explain in words how.

My lolo is one of my inspirations and motivations in life. He’s always been there to support me and he’s proud to say that I am his granddaughter. I love how he always makes us—his grandchildren—feel special in our own ways.

When I told him that I write for my school’s newspaper, he got so excited and told me that I should bring our newspaper when we go there to his house for summer vacation. It saddens me that he won’t be able to read my articles anymore. He won’t be able to hear me playing the piano anymore. He won’t be able to hear my brothers’ jokes anymore. And I won’t be able to tell him how much I love him anymore. And I love him so much.

I prayed to God. I asked Him to replace all the pain and grief in my heart and my family’s hearts with rejoicing. I want to rejoice because my lolo’s life wasn’t a waste. He lived 83 long years serving the Lord by serving others. He’s helped a lot of people, and some of those people even betrayed him. But he continued helping people nevertheless.

It was really hard, but I’ve already accepted everything—he’s gone now. I know God has a plan for every single one of us. And I also know that God will never fail us. So I will just trust Him and His plans.

To my lolo, I miss you so much. I love you. My summer vacations will never be the same without you. Rest in peace, lolo. Until we meet again.

No Social Media Challenge

Last January 11, Sunday, I took the challenge of not logging onto my social media accounts until February 2, except if I need to do something that’s totally important that involves cheating on the challenge. Today is the fourth day of it. Guess what? I’ve already failed (obviously, because I’m here).

During the first three days of the challenge, I realized that social media is a huge part of my life. In fact, it took up almost all of my spare time which is supposed to be spent on more important things than scrolling up and down through Facebook and Twitter, and checking out everything my “friends” and the “people I follow” have got to broadcast in the internet. I even actually felt bored without my social media accounts, and that is something bad.

Yes, social media is good. It provides information and keeps us updated on everything that happens around us. But I've already made a firm decision—no social media for me until the 2nd of February no matter what, starting this very minute. Instead of logging onto my social media accounts, I'll just take the time to talk to the Lord, bond with my loved ones, and contemplate how great this life is. If I need to talk to someone, I'll just talk to him/her over the phone. Or better yet, visit his/her house and to talk to him/her personally.

On another note, my 2015 has been great, thus far. I’ve realized and learned a lot of stuff. My perspective was broadened on so many levels, I cannot express in words how. And as I look back to the things that happened to me in 2014, I realize how blessed God has made me—I have a family that supports me through whatever, friends that I can count on whenever, and things I cannot experience or acquire wherever. I am truly grateful.

Now, time to review for my exams tomorrow!

The Liebster Award

THE RULES

First of all, I thank Chai of lifeofchai for nominating me for The Liebster Award!

CHAI'S QUESTIONS

The Sunday Currently Vol. 2

Hooray for my very first post in 2015! Currently...

READING Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami. I started reading it yesterday. Currently, I'm on Chapter Two. I will find time to read the book continuously, after I do everything I need to do before school starts again. I need to prioritize things (it's the last thing on my 3-item New Year's Resolution).

WRITING another entry for The Sunday Currently. I said in my last entry that I'll make an entry weekly, but with everything that I had to do the last month, I wasn't able to do as I said.

LISTENING to Wake by Hillsong Young & Free. It's my second favorite song as of now, with Hosanna by Hillsong United above it on the list.

THINKING if I should have a haircut (again) this week (or the next). I had my hair cut last December 31, but the hairdresser didn't cut my hair to my desired length, which is an inch below my shoulders.

SMELLING nothing.

WISHING that's it's still not Monday tomorrow. I don't want to go back to school yet! My mind is still on vacation mode.

WEARING a green shirt and blue shorts.

LOVING the books I got for Christmas. My mom said that I'm just "collecting" books and not reading them, because of the number of unread books I have. But this year, I will put myself on a book-buying ban until I finish all my reading all my unread books.

WANTING ice cream right now. I'm getting a cone later.

NEEDING to finish the AP Reviewer I'm supposed to be doing right now.

FEELING excited for church later. I wasn't able to attend last week's Sunday service because I was in Manila. Now, I'm excited to be back!

Based on Lauren Christy’s The Sunday CurrentlyPhotos taken by RJ, a friend

The Grateful Blogger Tag

2014. What a great year. It's the best one yet. A lot has happened—good and not-so-good things—and they are what made my year the most memorable one.

I was tagged by Tina of thewishfulsoul to do The Grateful Blogger Tag. (Thank you, Tina!) There's a lot to be grateful for in my life, actually. And below are some of them:

And that's about it!

The rules are simple: 1. Thank the person who tagged you and link them through your blog, 2. Write 10 things that you are grateful for and why, and 3. Tag 10 bloggers and comment on their blog. Let them know they have been tagged.

I tag: ultracarrotflowers, lookingforann, bookishcath, whimsy-clarie, ziaweee, fueledbyicecream, juliapallones, bookwormvintage, and danimond.

Happy Birthday, Baby Boy

Last November 29, Xander, my mom's friend's son, celebrated his 1st birthday at Balay Kalinaw inside the UP Diliman campus.

My mom asked me if I wanted to go about a month before the day of the event. And of course, I said "yes" immediately. Plus, I haven't been to a kid's party for quite a long time already, so...

The entire place was decorated so nicely, especially the candy buffet, as evidenced by the photo above. It's like a Pinterest board that came to life! (Wait, I don't even have a Pinterest account...)

It was also my first time to go to a party that has a candy buffet! It was so nice, I felt like I wanted to host a party with a candy buffet, though I don't like throwing parties because they can get a little stressful.

The dishes that were served were A+ for me, too!

The cupcakes are so cute!

Unlike any other kiddie party out there, this one didn't have a clown or a magician. But there were performers slash emcees who entertained us like a clown or magician would.

I wasn't able to take a lot of photos as it was so cold in the room and I was wearing a dress (it's in the "dress code") so I couldn't move around well.

We didn't finish the party because my mom and I wanted to roam around the campus first before heading home.

There's just something about the sky and tree silhouettes that makes me happy.

I wanted to have a picture taken of me with the Oblation, but we already had to go home because it was getting dark.

The next time I visit UPD, I'll make sure I make the most out of it.

Fifteenth

I still remember the time I celebrated my 5th birthday. There were balloons everywhere. Food were placed on a table in the middle of the room. Party hats were worn by kids. Almost the whole neighborhood was present in the party. There were parlor games. And I was wearing a white dress my mom had just bought especially for my birthday.

Ten years later, everything was different. There were no balloons. There were no party hats. Only a few people were invited and present in the party. There were no parlor games. And I wasn't wearing a dress—I was just wearing a t-shirt.

Things aren't the same way they were before, but I still had the same amount of fun I had ten years ago.

My birthday fell on a Sunday (December 7), so I just attended the usual Sunday church service and went out with my family. And ate, of course.

Earlier (or should I say, yesterday, because it's basically the 9th already), I celebrated my birthday at home with my friends. And to be honest, I liked how I celebrated my birthday this year. It was simple yet happy.

I thank everyone who made my birthday the most memorable one I've ever had. But above all, I thank God for giving me another year to love Him with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my mind (Matthew 22:37), and to love my neighbor as He have loved me (John 13:34).

P.S. It still feels different being 15.

Photo credits: link

The Sunday Currently

Hello guys!

So, in case you haven't noticed yet (but I presume that you really haven't noticed it yet), I deleted all of my Sunday Currently posts—every single one of them. And to be frank, I did so because I thought that those kind of posts only make my blog look "cluttered."

And it wasn't a very good idea. I just ended up regretting deleting them. But here I am now, starting The Sunday Currently series in my blog again.

Why am I doing this, you may ask? Well, Sundays are special because it's the day I go to church. And this is basically the reason why I have the motivation to go through the week and face every trial I may stumble upon while I'm on it—because I am looking forward to something great that is Sunday. Because of that, I decided to do something special on my blog on Sundays.

And that "special thing" is a Sunday Currently post. Ha!

So, let's start! Currently...

READING nothing besides my bible. At the start of the year, I challenged myself to read a total of 20 books before 2014 ends. But this reading slump that constantly comes back and cages me from reading books won't let me finish the challenge.

But the bible has been a great companion. It's greater than the books I have read and will be reading.

WRITING, supposedly, a news article for The Guardian. But I still haven't started yet. Oh well.

LISTENING to Christ is Enough by Hillsong United... or Hillsong Live? I don't know which one to call them, because it says here that the song is Hillsong Live's...

THINKING if I should start on my news article after I publish this post or if I should just start on it after I arrive home from church. Ah, the procrastinator in me...

SMELLING my dad's cooking.

WISHING that my teachers won't give us a lot of work this week. The past weeks of November have been very busy—a day without school work is a breath of fresh air.

WEARING a black t-shirt and yellow jogging pants. Yes, yellow.

LOVING the song Oceans by Hillsong United. It's my favorite in Zion. My other favorites are: A Million Suns, Relentless, and Heartbeats. Yep, I've been listening to a lot of Hillsong United lately. And oh, a lot of Planetshakers, too.

WANTING hot chocolate right now. I know it's a hot day, but that doesn't mean I can't have hot chocolate, right?

NEEDING an instant cure for the wound I had on my finger. It stings a lot.

FEELING excited for church!

Based on Lauren Christy's The Sunday Currently

The Missing Piece

MY TESTIMONY  I started living for Jesus last 2010. But I always felt that something is missing from my Christian life. My "fire" for the LORD wasn't always burning, I only read the Bible when I feel like reading it, I don't do my devotion, and I don't attend church every week. I thought that THAT is just okay. I also thought that attending church is already enough. But I was completely wrong.

When I was just thinking during one Sunday service if my labor is already sufficient to guarantee my ticket to my Father's kingdom, our church announced that there will be an Encounter God Retreat again. (It's the third and last one this year. Segue: I was supposed to join the second one, but my didn't approve. And through my prayers and other people's, too, my mom finally allowed me to join the Encounter.)

THE ENCOUNTER The Encounter lasted for 3 days--it ended last October 26, 2014 (Sunday).

We were asked what our expectations about it were before the actual Encounter started. Mine were: 1) it will change my life, 2) it will make me a better person, 3) it will draw me closer to God, 4) it will deepen my relationship with Him, and 5) my faith will be made stronger than ever. And my expectations were even exceeded!

It was that missing piece I was looking for and it was just the thing I needed to ignite my fire even more. No words can explain how happy and grateful I am to have experienced that kind of thing!

I also met tons of new people that are now my friends. I thought I'd just feel "alone" during those 3 days of enlightenment. But that only added up to the list of things I got wrong about the Encounter.

The Encounter also made me realize a lot of stuff:

I've never felt something like this in my entire life, but I want time to fast forward to Sunday already so I can go to church, attend post-Encounter, know more about the Word of God, jump, dance around, and sing to my heart's content during praise and worship, and worship God with all my heart, soul, and strength.

Glory to God!

Uninspired

I've been feeling much uninspired—the reason why I've been missing in action from the blog-o-sphere lately. But I'm on the internet almost every day reading and liking people's blog posts, tweeting, Instagramming, and watching the vlogbrothers' videos on YouTube. My favorite, thus far, is the one embedded above. To all book lovers out there reading this: you should definitely watch the video! Hank Green totally gets us when it comes to books! (Also: Did you see how I subtly plugged my social media accounts?)

Because I didn't know what to blog about at first, I searched the internet for possible blog ideas/prompts, but none of what I found works for me. So I just decided to launch MS Word, type along, and see how far I can get.

And now, I seem to be in a loss for words.

So I'll just leave you now with this blog post that is definitely worth reading.

P.S. Our computer's okay now. I'm lucky that some of my photos (the latest ones) are still saved in my camera's memory card, but my old photos and files... ugh. I'll just forget about them and move on with life now.

All Gone

Our desktop computer's hard drive broke the other day. (I'm using my mom's computer right now, which she uses for her "freelancing thing.")

That hard drive contains all of my files (i.e., my editorials and some other stuff I wrote) and my pictures—every single one of them.

My mom researched about what might have happened with our hard drive and even called a computer technician for help, but there's nothing we can do about it—everything in that hard drive cannot be retrieved anymore.

But, my files and pictures—all gone!

On another note, we celebrated teacher's day today. I had loads of fun. I might be blogging about how today went. (That is, if our computer gets fixed before this week ends.)

Vintage for Grandparents Day

A week or two ago, a local mall had an exhibit-sort-of thing of all things vintage. I don't know if people were allowed to take pictures of the exhibit since the items are for sale, but I was like, "Nah, I'm going to seize this opportunity and take pictures."

There was also an antique classical piano at the exhibit, but the photos that I took of it didn't turn out nice. I wish I took really nice photos of it because the exhibit ran for days only, or so I think.

Though the day before I took pictures of the exhibit, my mom had already made me play that piano. And man were the keys so heavy.

While I was taking pictures of the gramophone and the vinyl records, a man came by and played a record. I was fascinated, because it was my first time to see an actual gramophone in the flesh. I looked for a Beatles vinyl, but sadly, there weren't any.

The first time I saw this camera, I thought to myself that I want it. But of course, my mom wouldn't buy it because she'd just consider it as "junk." The other cameras (the ones in the very first picture), though, were so heavy! I didn't expect them to be that way.

The bikes were also nice. My brothers and I wanted the tandem bike.

And that's the end of this post. Here's to hoping for more posts like this on my blog!

A Stump on the Road

I don't know if I will be able to sum this whole day in a blog post, let alone words, but here goes nothing.

Today was the day for the Division Schools Press Conference (DSPC). We were one of the first who got to the venue. After more than 10 minutes of waiting, people from other schools began to show up until the whole venue became packed.

A few important people gave speeches. And then, they started calling the students who will compete for each category. My category, editorial writing, was the last one called.

Never have I ever been so nervous in my whole life before like the way I felt earlier! It was my first time to compete with other schools for the editorial writing category (I used to compete for the sports writing category). I did my best, but I wasn't able to earn any bacon. I felt bad at first, of course. All my labor and efforts were turned into dust. But I know that God has better plans for me—plans to prosper me and not to harm me; plans to give me hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) Maybe it still wasn't my time to win. Maybe He has something in store for me. All I have to do is trust Him. (Matthew 21:22).

Nevertheless, it was a pretty great and unique experience!

I think of this defeat as a stump on the road I am walking on my way to success and the fulfillment of my dreams. This is not yet the end of my "writing journey," for it has only just begun. I have yet to walk on that road until I get to my destination. For now, let's just wait for an article of mine to be on the Manila Bulletin or The New York Times, yes?