Book of Neil Patrick Harris

This blog is Anti-Tony, but I'm not specifying which one

Tony Soprano? Tony Stark? Tony the Tiger? Tony Hawk? A tumblr user named Tony? Tony Hopkins? The choice is yours

how am i supposed to cast a concentration spell under these conditions.

[Audio transcript: 

I’ve seen more and more people make, like, jokes and comments on this app about how, like, “I forgot that old—that gay people could get old! I forgot that there’s, like, old gay people!” [Pause] Oh my god.

The fact that there are kids identifying with the LGBT+ community who are young enough to have never learned about the AIDS epidemic and what it actually did to us... Like, they just do not know the level of destruction that it caused, to the point where they make jokes about how they don’t— they’ve never seen old gay people, and they don’t know why that is.

The reason you forgot that gay people could get old is because we didn’t. For about fifty years. Because of a virus that was used essentially as a bioweapon against our community in an attempt to wipe us out.

AIDS killed almost an entire generation of us. That’s why you don’t see old gay people very much. It’s because they died young. End transcript.]

why is there no Barbie mortician career doll

everybody is like “oh you think dolls die?” “how would a kid tell if a doll is dead?” have you ever watched a child play with dolls, they have morbid creativity levels that rival Shakespeare

Wish I knew how to edit the orb pondering image so it's dance fucker dance john arbuckle inside the orb.

here you go i guess

Tic-Tac-Toe

can you guys quit your job so we can hang out more

The perfect AITA

SIL = Sister in Law MIL = Mother in Law FIL = Father in law BIL = Brother in Law

Throwback to that one time I went to a murder mystery Halloween party where we were given characters who correlated with colors and were told to dress in those colors and one dude showed up dressed as Ted Cruz

Okay I found the photos

So he wasn't just dressed as Ted Cruz, but he had made a mask of Ted Cruz with a detached mouth that was taped to his chin so it would move when he talked and it was every bit as horrifying as it sounds/looks

Here he is attempting to drink a beer through the mask. His goal was to not take the mask off at all

I forgot to mention the best part:

He turned out to be the murderer.

Ngl this is kinda hilarious

Makes sense. I mean, a passenger of a cruise line isn't called a sailor, right? Astronaut literally means "star sailor."

OP how could you not include the first paragraph of the article

Huge oversight on my part you're absolutely right

I want one of those scenes in a dude bro film where “tomboy” chick has to wear a dress to go undercover or whatever, but instead of the guys drooling as she walks down the stairs, they’re like “k. U need to stop. Go put the cargo pants back on. You look super uncomfortable and awkward in that. Brutus, you go be the fake prostitute.”

I’m just imagining this super ripped guy called Brutus being like ‘YESSS!!! I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE THE FAKE PROSTITUTE!! Now is my time to shine!!’

so I got inspired… and had to make a comic….

*wipes away a single tear* Yes.

Miss Congeniality, but with The Rock instead of Sandra Bullock

please let me come to your sleepover party i promise i won't levitate out of my sleeping bag or start crawling around on the ceiling at 3am this time

i’ll literally never have enough of that dylan b hollis dude cause like. hes a college student who just.,.blew up on tiktok. he has the soul of a man who has lived for 60 years in the body of a twink. he cooks and is surprised every single time. he goes CINAMIN everytime he uses cinnamon. he has the kitchen of a 60s house wife and cooks like hes going to kill someone

other favorites include

- “moo juice!”

- E G G - G I E

- BUTTER GO BRRRRRRRR

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE I AM

I’m his crying wife

You have to understand the part that’s so iconic about this is this isn’t a clip of him winning the tournament this of a clip of him coming in fourth

Oh my fucking god no it’s not XD He won with that strike. That was like his fifth national championship win. Why would you lie about that. Why would anyone lie about that.

Blonde hair is so romanticized and sought after and brown hair is considered plain but consider: we’ve actually got eyebrows.

SD:LKFM WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY?