if u dont pick a fav character to unhealthily project basically ur entire self onto then whats even the fucking point
Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested
Imagine the drama if apple added a feature that notified you if someone took a screenshot of your conversation
Don’t introduce me to your parents unless you plan on marrying me bc they’re going to love me & ask about me for the rest of your life lol
my life is basically just a constant cycle of finally getting past the thing i was stressing about and then immediately finding something else to stress me out even if it isn’t happening for another 4 months
I love planners, highlighters, giant calendars, nice ball point pens, to do lists, & anything else that gives me the illusion that I’m getting my life together
do not let white academia fool you into thinking that
- the greatest authors that were and ever will be are white men
- every great philosopher came out of europe
- mathematics and science were at their highest point when used by white men
- the most beautiful city in the world is paris
- colonialism was a golden age
- europe is the pinnacle of civilization
“makeup actually expires!!!” not if it costs more than $5 it doesnt
It expires when its empty
teacher: here’s ur topic me: oh jeez i hate that topic teacher: pick your own topic me: oh jeez im not a decision maker
the “never listens to anyone but themselves” squad
Taurus, Leo, VIRGO, Aquarius
Why is virgo in caps tho
it was the only way u would listen
I hate when men smirk and gloat and say shit like “Women are attracted to powerful men,” like that negates any feminist impulse, like they think that at the heart of all women is this little, mincing girl that wants to be dominated.
I just roll my eyes because, dude. If you ever read the second half of any fucking harlequin novel ever, and saw how the hero always ends up blubbering on his knees and saying shit like “I can’t live without you! You unman me!” you’d realize that being attracted to powerful men is just the first part of a two-step plan.
The second step is to completely fucking annihilate him.
Apparently this is the most important thing I’ll ever say.
*clears throat* Allow me to quote Jayne Ann Krentz: “In the romance novels … the woman always wins. With courage, intelligence, and gentleness she brings the most dangerous creature on earth, the human male, to his knees. More than that, she forces him to acknowledge her power as a woman.” (“Introduction” from Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women: Romance Writers on the Appeal of Romance.) The romance hero may start as a total alphahole, but by the end of the novel, as stated above, HE HAS TO CHANGE. He needs to become respectful and treat the heroine as an equal partner, otherwise it won’t work. This is why Elizabeth Bennet refuses Mr Darcy the first time but accepts him later. This is what so many people miss. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for this post.
I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir
someone: whats ur ringtone me, who has had their phone on vibrate since 2008: ???
me: *is constantly treating myself*
me: you know what? i’m gonna treat myself today