I would die for Pepper

My phone: *incoming call* Me: 🔫👀

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh...hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

Take care of yourself. And don’t trust strangers easily— it might be lethal! Being a girl is scary in so many ways. Yeah it can happen to men, but cmon they see females as an easier target.

I agree on this corrective asswhoopin

If you see this, don’t just sneakily tell the woman or the bartender. Shout for everyone to hear “Hey, you just put something in that drink!” While pointing at the person. 

If a predator misses target number one they’ll just go for target 2. If you shame them out of the bar they’ll never come back.

And there is a solid chance of a collective asswhoopin, or an actual arrest for attempted rape.

When in doubt, make the biggest scene you can.

wow i need a drink [pours apple juice into shot glass]

me when i fucking breathe

good post if you ever breathe

favourite thing about hozier’s songs are that at first listen they’re beautiful prose but  then u listen to it again and u go “wait this is HORNY” 

at McDonald’s

Favourite NHL team: *Signs a hockey player*

Me: *Proceeds to love said hockey player though I should know better by now*

Favourite NHL team: *Trades hockey player*

Me: 

klaus : h-

luther at the rave :

its not a sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel really sad around 8pm

Flagged upon posting, you cruel bastard.

found her