OMFG.

Very curious doggo

Reminder that puffins are extremely social and like to fit in with their friends, so they will adopt mannerisms and interests of the group. So there is a good chance this little guy is trying to be friends with the photographer by showing his interest in the camera.

TIL photographers are a lot like puffins, cuz we also make friends by showing interest in your camera XD

Reminds me of the time researchers were trying to get puffins to land in a specific area so the put decoys up to draw them in but the decoys only had 1 leg and

—

Me playing d&d: “Listen, I know you struggle with this, but the DM wants us to make a perception roll. Do you think we can handle it? Do we think we can maybe, just maybe, roll at least above a 10? For me? Please?”

My d&d character, spitting in my face: “Fuck you. I have never perceived anything in my life and I’m sure as hell not going to start now. Now I will roll a 7.”

Your dice have made a character building decision and they need you to respect that

candlelit baths are so good bc they involve all the earths elements:

any Catholics online ? I got some questions.

Yeah I’m catholic whatsup

how do i reach heaven through violence

Its called a crusade and you need to get the Pope’s permission first

sexual tension is out, platonic tension is in. I need enemies who have fought each other so many times that they've developed a mutual fondness, realized they have a lot in common, and have to stop themselves from slipping into friendly conversation when they're supposed to be kicking each other's asses.

— Kuba Wojewodzki, Polish journalist and comedian

*starts typing on bottom of shoe*

Hacker voice: I’m in.

confused person looking at snow prints: who the fcuk strapped fucking keyboards to their shoes

police detective examines footprints leading away from the crime ‘why did we ever anger the machines,’ he asks himself sorrowfully

If you could hear me scream. I found this on twitter and I’m not sure who made it but it’s hilarious

i think about you a lot.

i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second

anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk

and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something

paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.

i say, paul.

is that a nerf gun.

yeah, says paul.

i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.

he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?

and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–

a foam dart hits me in the leg.

i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.

i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.

no dart this time. okay. sweet.

so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it 

anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.

Now that is a kickass therapist.

Here’s To 2018 (via my-writemind)