Hey!I’m sorry you’re feeling lost, coming out can feel very overwhelming. I’m glad you have two friends you feel will be supportive though!In terms of telling them about pronouns and a new name, I think just telling them works! You could give them a sample sentence with they/them pronouns if you’re worried they won’t understand how to use them. You could try to ease them into it by asking about their knowledge of nonbinary people first, and getting them to understand that before telling them about your self if that feels more comfortable for you. The best tip I have is to come out when you feel ready. Feeling scared or nervous can still happen when you’re ready, and that totally makes sense because you’re probably worried about being accepted. That’s really common to feel that way, so you’re not alone in that. I’m not sure how it will go since I don’t know the people you’re coming out to, but if you feel they’ll be supportive, then hopefully they will work at being understanding and altering how they refer to you. It might take them some time to get used to your name and pronouns, try not to take that as them not caring, as long as they’re working at it. Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any more questions 😊

This is a difficult question. Unfortunately I don’t have any specific words that will help a parent understand gender, but hopefully with time she will come around. If your mother has ideas about gender that you can’t seem to change, trying might just stress you out. If she’s open to learning then you could try giving her resources to read on her own time possibly?If your mother is willing to read resources that you give her, I would suggest an essay or article by Julia Serano, who’s awesome at arguing against that gender essentialist way of thinking with her background in biology. (You can find a list of some writings of hers at juliaserano .com /writings).If she would be open to reading a more narrative essay rather than an argumentative, more science based one, then I would also suggest checking out the articles on genderqueer.me In the end, your mother may not believe that being nonbinary is real, but that doesn’t change the fact that nonbinary people exist and that you’re real! It seems she has some understanding, so I hope that she will put in the work to understand what you tell her. Being nonbinary tends to come with having our validity questioned, but try to remember that how you feel and express yourself is real and valid, no matter what other people think. And that nonbinary people have existed for a long time, even if we’ve gone by different names. Good luck with talking to your mom and let me know if I can help otherwise!

Hey there,So I’ll try to address generally the topics you’ve mentioned, but if you have any specific questions, please ask me because tips is really broad!Congrats on making a plan! That can feel really good to do. If coming out doesn’t go exactly as planned, try not to sweat it either. I came out first to some friends, then some family, then some other friends, and then my school, and then work, and then some other family, and more after that. It’s not as linear as it seems at first.That’s awesome you know what you want to do, that may not change at all with time, but also it might too. Just try to be kind to yourself through it all.Buying new clothes can be expensive, you could try to do it more slowly with help from your parents if they’re open to that. You could also look into clothing swaps and second hand stores, a lot of trans people get clothes from other trans people at clothing swaps!When I went to catholic school, I wasn’t out as trans or nonbinary and they were not open to it, but that’s not the case at all catholic or religious schools. I’m not sure how they will react, but if you have friends who you trust there, maybe try to come out to them first? The school may not be overly supportive, but maybe with parents, friends, or teachers also pushing for you, they will hopefully listen and be respectful. Let me know if you have any other questions and Good luck!!

Hi,I’m sorry if this is late, I wasn’t notified of this message and I can’t see a date, sorry about that!First off, I’m sorry your parents haven’t been supportive of your sexuality. Of course that doesn’t always indicate how they’ll react to your gender, but if they’ve been unsupportive in the past, they might be with this too. In terms of coming out to them, you should do that whenever you feel ready and safe in doing so. If you want resources to give them to read, there’s some on this blog or I can direct you to more.Do you have any other support systems or supportive people in your life you have told or could tell? Maybe they could help you advocate for your self with your parents if they would be open to that. In terms of the binder, there are often give-aways on tumblr that you could search for, but also, if you have like $40, you could get a prepaid card at the store and order one online, if that’s a concern or barrier for you. Please don’t bind unsafely and get a proper binder if you can, and please reach out to me if you need any more help 💗

Hey Anon, sorry it took me so long to answer this!

So, first of all, I’m glad your gf has been supportive in theory. But i’m sorry she hasn’t been supportive in practice.

I totally understand feeling bad about speaking up, but this is about you being who you really are, and that’s important as hell. If you haven’t, maybe explain to her why this is so important, or if that feels too much, show her to a video or site that talks about the importance of honouring pronouns and names.

I would tell her to try to stop feeling guilt feelings about this, and instead frame it as a lesson she can learn and get better at.

Continuing to use pronouns and a name that doesn’t make you feel comfortable is shitty for sure, but guilt is not a productive feeling. Guilt will make Her feel like she is the victim in the end, which helps neither her or you.

If instead she takes this as a wake up call and puts the work in, then she can change. I believe that anyone can change if they Want to, regarding this type of thing at least.

Has she done everything possible to involve your name and pronouns in her day? Has she changed the contact for you in her phone to your name? (She could even put your pronouns next to your name in the contact to remind her to use them)

Has she practiced using your pronouns with you? Has she practiced with anyone else who knows those pronouns for you (not sure if that is possible)? Has she written your name and pronouns down? Has she texted you using that name?

There are simple ways to include this in her day that will make it near impossible for her to forget. If she accepts you and wants to make a shift and loves you and wants to be with you, then there are ways to help her remember. Phone contacts, sticky notes, non-toxic pen reminders on her hand, etc. If she wants to find a way, she can.

I hope she wants to work on this, and I hope this was helpful!

Let me know if you want to talk anymore!

well I have never been in that position myself, but from friends I've talked to who have and my own coming out in other situations, here are some tips:-try to explain to them what you're feeling about your gender and be as open as you feelcomfortable (could be as simple as "I'm not a boy or a girl, but something else" or more specific, if they don't know anything about nonbinary or trans people, this might take some patience and explaining (if they don't know any trans stuff I would explain this first maybe)-reassure them that this doesn't change how you feel about them or who you are (this may seem redundant or basic, but big announcements can make relationships feel unstable sometimes)-if you have a different name or pronouns that you want them to use, then try to introduce these, although it is up to you how much you are willing to let them slide on that stuff (for some people it's a deal breaker if a partner can't get this stuff--which is totally okay, but give them a few weeks at least to get acclimated)-really all you can do is just tell them, whether through letter or in person (in person is sometimes received better although for me it is anxiety-inducing), and then see how they react. I'm not sure if this answer was what you were looking for but let me know if there's anything else! also good luck!!!

not at all :) that's what it's there for! I would suggest adding your own personal touches and experiences to make it a better representation of you, but if it helps you get started then please go for it!