what if voltron was just a really long dnd campaign

matt: zarkon emerges from the ship with the black bayard in hand. what do you-

keith: i attack him

matt: …keith you’re a level three

keith: i’m rolling

matt: you arrive at your brother’s grave, confirming that he was one of the casualties in the battle. you collapse into tears in front of it and-

pidge: i’m rolling for perception

matt: wh- what is there to perceive? he’s literally dead-

pidge: it’s nat 20

matt: i… you notice that your brother’s birthday on the tombstone is wrong. he’s left you a code. on his grave. for some reason. because apparently he’s not dead now

lotor: i try to convince them to ally with me

matt: you do realize you’ve tried to kill these people on multiple occasions right?

lotor: i’m going for it

matt: …okay. roll for charisma

lotor: …i got a 1

matt: you attempt to charm the princess by talking about her dead father for fifteen minutes

lotor: i try to convince them to give the galra empire unlimited access to quintessence

matt: i- you know what? fine. allura, roll a perception check

allura: ………i got a 1

matt: …you think lotor’s plan is absolutely wonderful and allow him to join your party

matt: the sea serpent follows in quick pursuit. it’s gaining on the blue lion fast and-

lance: can i roll to seduce it?

matt: no

lance: why do you hate me

matt: rax asks if your ship is still working so that you can leave

hunk: well we can’t leave without the crystal, and we still haven’t found out a way to get it…

coran: i have a plan. we attempt to impersonate a galra sentry

matt: you… do realize they’re robots right

coran: yes

matt: alright then. roll a bluff check

coran: i got a 5

matt: you grab a broken sentry and get on hunk’s shoulders, putting on a cloak to hide your body from view. the two of you stumble towards two guards, very obviously whispering to each other, and you attempt to convince them that their shift is over. they raise their weapons and ask for your identification number

hunk: …yeah i’m just gonna shoot at them now if that’s okay

when will YA authors realize that the mr. darcy fantasy isn’t “hot rich guy is a huge dick to you” but “hot rich guy fucking respects and listens to you”

“hot rich guy only seems like a huge dick because he has the social skills of an agarophobic lobster.”

“hot rich guy falls in love with you, respects your wishes when you tell him to fuck off, mends his ways with no ulterior motive and opens his dumb awkward heart to you”

I think growing up on a steady diet of fanfiction made me hate traditional book genres. Like, I don’t care what the overall “theme” is. Gimme the tags. Is there character death? Sibling rivalry? Snarky best friend? That’ll do way more to get me into a book than slotting it into one of a dozen strictly defined boxes that tells me almost nothing.

Last time I was in a bookstore I was rifling through the paperbacks going “where the hell is the Content rating? is this ‘mature’ or are we in for actual funtimes here?  And where are the Content Warnings?  whatcha got here book?  You gonna get weird on me?”  So really, Ao3 has me spoiled.

This gave me a brilliant idea for book displays at the library. #angst #enemies to lovers #plot twist

You are a good librarian!

I only have flat shelves to work with but…. I did it.

ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL.  YOU ARE A GOD AMONGST MORTALS.

I found a book in the library with content tags and suddenly I realised what I’d been missing all this time.

Published erotica: terribly written, costs money

Fanfiction on ao3: Free, isn’t affaid TO JUST USE THE WORD ‘COCK’ FFS

“His genitals, his privates, his hot length, his trobing rod, his magic meat stick-”

Me, in tears: Just say cock

published erotica: the parts that aren’t purple prose about vanilla sex are occupied by dithering and made up problems

fanfiction on ao3: the parts that aren’t sharp, clear prose about scorching kinky sex are occupied by tightly plotted suspense and slam-bang action

published erotica: not interested in the 99% of the market that’s heterosexual? that’s fine, we also have tender white middle class lesbians and slutty white middle class gay men!

fanfiction on ao3: one trans partner? both partners trans? genderswaps? how about a loving long-term threesome that does heist capers? we’ve got non-gendered angels, hermaphroditic aliens – some of whom lay eggs, if you’re into that – oh, and have i mentioned the robots –

published erotica: there, i put in a vampire, i’m such a genre rebel

fanfiction on ao3: i sent the avengers to hogwarts with the winchester brothers, i fear nothing on earth or heaven and only one thing in hell which is that my laptop will overheat in the fires of abaddon so i’ll have to write the sequel longhand

\o/

I remember first learning that you can cry from any emotion, that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. so if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. Everything made sense after learning that. That sudden stability of your emotions after crying. How crying is often accompanied by the inability to feel any other emotion in that precise moment. And it is especially beautiful knowing that it is even possible to experience so much beauty or love or happiness that your body literally can’t hold on to all of it. So what I’ve learned is that crying signifies that you are feeling as much as humanely possible and that is living to the fullest extent. So keep feeling and cry often and as much as needed

SHIT WHAT

Also let yourself cry. It really is a biochemical release valve to dump out all the chemicals that make you feel stuff.

I honestly think one reason men in western culture have so many problems is that we don’t let them cry, and literally their brains get stuffed with all this crap that doesn’t have a release valve. Men, please cry. You’ll feel better. It’s ok. You are not lesser for taking care of your health.

This is why tears from different emotions look different under an electron microscope. They’re literally made up of different things. 

Happy tears are structurally different than sad tears than angry tears than overwhelmed tears etc.

I looked it up, cuz that tidbit was dope to me and..

Never would have known

My entry for the ‘’Sailor Moon Team Up ‘’ contest  : ) I won !

A Love Letter to Adventure Time

Let me first just say that I can’t believe that Adventure Time is finally ending soon. It stands as a show which, to me, graduated from a show with silly humor (and here and there dark humor) to a show which had a whole lot more under the surface. Adventure Time first drew me in a month before its debut on CN; it started out as a boy and his brother going on adventures as well as doing a variety of good deeds, no matter how big. Finn had always sought to help everyone and Jake initially stood as his mentor who was chill about most everything. PB was a sort of motherly figure who had immediate access to resources; her intelligence and access to resources made her powerful. Ice King started as a silly villain with the cliche schemes to marry a princess, often with Finn and Jake intervening. Marceline, the Vampire Queen seemed to be this rocker girl who did what she want, when she wanted, and how she wanted.

As the show went on, Finn proved to me that even heroes can be greatly flawed rather than unyielding in how pristine they are. Jake goes through an identity crisis much later on, fearing that if he were to change who he was entirely, who would he be then? PB comes to grips with her own morality and we see from her that even pure looking characters can do questionable things for safety reasons; PB did what she could to make sure her kingdom was safe and some of those actions get more extreme as the show goes on. Marceline’s character initially comes across as a sort of prankster type of person but you start seeing that her past was marred with her father figure’s loss of memory, falling outs, and the absence of her actual father. Ice King has shown that due to the crown he wears, he doesn’t remember who he is before the crown, and he’s shown to be very lonesome.

Long standing conflicts in relationships are well written in Adventure Time; they aren’t written as “ characters a and b have an altercation” with the characters making up in the end of the episode. When the conflict is long standing, it’s long standing. Some characters mend the relationship, but not on the same status before the falling out, the mending is more built on honesty and respect. Sometimes, however there isn’t mending between characters and some characters find their own closure. It taught me that, even if the other person hurt you and has every reason to address that, those people don’t sometimes. Some people don’t realize the extent of how much they hurt you and sometimes some people don’t care to. Some people think that not talking about the issue and waiting it out so that it’s not as relevant to others means that they can go through in life without admitting culpability to that issue (or any at all). 

You also had the miniseries in Adenture Time, which focused on certain characters. Stakes gave us Marceline’s growth as a character as well as the moral “the more things change, the more they stay.” Islands gave us Finn’s desire to know who his biological parents were. Elements gave us the importance of the elemental people of AT as well as a character, who’s generally a comedic character.

There’s honestly so much about the show I love and I’m happy to be on this 8 year ride from start to finish.

You rock, Adventure Time.

Bitch yas!!!!!! What brand is this??

👀 we need to know

why do y'all do this and not include the brand smh

http://www.beautybakerie.com and @beautybakeriemakeup on IG

Gracias! 🙏🏻🙏🏻

The CEO is a breast cancer survivor, single mother, and black woman with an amazing story. Her name is Cashmere Nicole.

Black Owned Tho? Can’t skip this. Reblogging for my sistas!!

@theravenmother

I bought these products and honestly they’re amazing, you can eat, kiss, drink, pretty much do anything and this shit doesn’t fade. Everyone go buy from her, she’s amazing

Piss off fuckboys while supporting black businesses.

Girl yaaaaas!!!!

dorian hid that painting but I bet y'all if he’d just hung it in his living room and been like “oh yeah I get someone to come in and paint it to be slightly more gruesome every night” and everybody woulda been like “I believe you you dramatic bitch” 

dorian, completely serious over a glass of wine, hand trembling: this painting is the literal decay of my soul. this painting is all my sinful anguish and moral depravity

literally anyone who knew him longer than 5 minutes:

So I dunno how many people know this but if you go to burgerking and order anything at all off the menu, even just a drink, you get two little surveys on the back of the receipt

Each survey can get you a free whopper burger or a chicken sandwich with the purchase of any drink (even the $1 drink)

Just fill out the survey and get the code and write it on the back.

If you are short on money and really need a substantial meal, you can keep doing this cycle of getting receipts and free sandwiches for as long as you like

Idk I thought this might help people who are hard up for cash. This works in the US.

reblog 2 save a hungry tummy maybe?

these surveys actually saved me as a child growing up with a neglectful, mentally ill mother. shout out 2 every hood burger king

Coming into a fandom late

Coming into a fandom early and watching it become an angry clusterfuck

Being in a dormant fandom that suddenly comes alive again after a new book/movie

Don’t forget about those who come in the midst of a fandom war. 

Accuracy at its best

Being in a fandom and not even knowing there’s a war going on…

all of this shit…lol

When You’re Not In The Fandom But You’re Nosy AF

When you get into a fandom only to discover it’s dead

This gets better every time I see it. 

@fuboos-mess

Being in a dead fandom…

Or being in such a tiny fandom that it feels like youre the only one

The accuracy hurts.

Being in a fandom that had a shit ending.

When you’ve been fangirling long enough, you’ve experienced all of the above.

Being in a fandom meant for kids.

This just gets better..

@mi-kleos

When you realize that joining the fandom has ruined you

Fandom hell in general

A master post

Priceless

pro authors should hire fanfic authors to ghostwrite their sex scenes

I tried to keep a straight face, but then I began to laugh and cry

This makes my vagina hurt.

OKAY THIS IS CANON. I’M SKIPPING THE MOVIE.

THE END!!!!!!

TAG UR SPOILERS

#i bet she used to think she was above it too

WHY WOULD YOU POINT THAT OUT. but no like at first she looks up like “goddamn these naive idealistic youths” but then her gaze drops for a moment like “yea we’ve all thought that at one point. but thats not how the world works” and she looks back to the dag and eventually gives her the seeds like “i hope you’ll be able to stay above it”

#your stupid revhead car film with scenes between women talking about themselves  #where one of those is an old woman  #who’s not necessarily blandly sweet nurturing  #and not necessarily wickedly crone-like  #but is a completely valid combination of both  #yes I am a loving and nurturing figure  #yes I also am a horrifying murderous crone  #behold they are come together in one person  #as is the way with most people  #wandering in search of our Better Selves

The wastelandelders account has been quiet for a while, as we “elder” ladies have been busy with other pieces of our lives… But I love the tags here, and this seemed the right place to share some thoughts. Life seems to get simpler in some ways as we get older, as we figure out what makes us happy and what we want from our lives. But being older is also so much more complicated.

In the years of a long life we’ll have times when we’re generous and others when we’re selfish. Times of kindness and cruelty, wisdom and foolishness, happiness and sadness. Times we’ve been loved and other times hated.

And all of those histories are carried in the same body and soul, folded into the same wrinkles, hidden within the same strands of greying hair. They are confusing, sometimes: Which of these things am I? How can the parts I’m not proud of still be me? (Possibly it’s history, not gravity, that causes our skin to sag, makes our faces draw down into jowls and our upper arms go jiggly?)

Another reason to love the Vuvalini, isn’t it? They are our experienced, complicated, history-laden selves, and they are treated with such respect, and honor, and they are shown to have such value. Such a shame this is so rare, I would love to have more complex, badass, proud old ladies to squee over!

(thoughts from @bethagain)

@fialleril

They had to die tho, because their matriarchal society was no better than Joe’s patriarchal horror. The background on the Vuvalini is quite chilling.

Both camps had to die out, for the new order to be built on women and men working together and respecting one another.

thor’s concept of sibling rivalry may be a bit extreme

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a lake in montana whose water is so clear it appears shallow, when really its over 100 feet deep!

this is actually kinda terrifying because what if someone doesn’t know how deep it is, so they go diving and try to swim to the bottom, but they always seem just out of reach, so they just keep swimming… and when they realize something’s wrong it’s too late

Imagine seeing a body at the bottom….

tumblr has the ability to turn everything beautiful into something terrifying 

What if you see a skeleton at the bottom of what appears to be a shallow part of the lake. As you dive down to check them out you notice the water is deeper than you originally thought. Much deeper. You come to realize that there is no way these remains could be human, you’re not even half-way down and already the skull already looks bigger than your car

This started so tranquil and then it turned into Friday the 13th

I love it tho

The Four Elemental Power Walks

Water:

Earth: 

Fire:

 Air: 

my favorite thing about this is that each of them is walking in a different direction, it’s like these girls are off to conquer the entire goddamn world

They’re gonna meet in the middle

In the middle they will find the avatar, master of all elements and the force:

IT GOT BETTER